3 Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

A woman was in a coma. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath.

One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her.

The nurses went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The hubby finally agreed and went into his wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lined: no pulse, no heart rate.

The nurses ran into the room.

"What happened?" they cried.

The husband said, "I guess she choked".

The accountant and the tattoo....

An accountant gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where the hel_l have you been?"

He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis," he said proudly.

"What the hel_l were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain.

"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill on his penis?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow," he began. "Two, once in a while, I like to play with my money... Three, I like how money feels in my hand...

And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!!!

One Solution

A man sat at a local bar & said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."

"What a coincidence," said the woman next to him. "I'm celebrating, too," she continued, clinking glasses with him. "What are you celebrating?"

"I'm a chicken farmer, & for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile.

"What a coincidence," the woman said. "For years my husband & I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?”

“I switched cocks,” he replied.

“What a coincidence,” she said.