3 Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

George Bush and his accomplice Dick Cheney were riding on an elephant. A group of bystanders were watching intently. All of a sudden someone in the croud shouted, "Hey look that elephant has two <deleted> on it!"

Bush and Cheney looked down at the elephants ass, confused.

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter.

"That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor.

"Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly.

"Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?"

"Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"

A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw." From out in the audience a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"

"Silence in the court!" the judge shouted back. He turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."

"You goddamned tightwad!" blurted the spectator.

"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."

"You cheap son of a..." the man starts to shout.

The Judge thunders back "If you don''t tell me the reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!"

"I''ve lived next to that lying bastard for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a f*****g tool when I needed to borrow one!"