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Frustrated Farang Husband


arcturaz

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8 minutes ago, JimmyTheMook said:

I don't at all.

 

Stay away from long term relationships with Isaan women and their deadbeat trash families.

 

 

Why are you trashing Issan women?

I am married to the best Issan woman, no man could wish for a better wife.

Yet i agree with you 100% about families, they are just deadbeat as you say.

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16 hours ago, Small Joke said:

Number one, and since you have kids. 

Go have a vasectomy asap! 

Google a doctor, then go get it done!  

The best investment any man over 40 can make period. 

I won't rehash the other sound advice you've gotten here.  

I've never had kids (two abortions,  different women, at 30 her sole choice,  and 41 joint decision) and so I opted for a vasectomy at 45, I've since travelled the world,  and never looked back. 

Most of my mates are screwed, past 50 with young kids to fund and feed until well after most hit retirement.  

Women have their 'baby clock',  but I just don't see why men get sucked into such a life changing financial disaster. They barely think it through in most cases. 

Get the chop,  Chop-chop! 

 

the soundest bit of advice for all the farangs reading TV.

i got the chop 5 years ago after some close calls and blackmailed for 2m for an abortion, i didn't pay.

your just a meal ticket waiting to happen, best thing i ever done. and no it does not hurt.  ?

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You posted this because you're looking for validation to leave, everyone here is telling you the same thing so I will add to it.... Leave!!

When you are settled in another life you will shake your head and wonder why you didn't leave sooner.

 

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32 minutes ago, Boon Mee said:

Gotta feel sorry for the poor guy. 

i dont ,

to be honest the OP is properly a decent guy but she has no respect for him and treats him like a door mat. 1, should never put ones self in a vulnerable position that you cant get out of . 2 he should of walked years ago. shes been taking him for a mug for years. hope you make the right decision and walk sooner rather than later. good luck.

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3 minutes ago, stevkob said:

 

You posted this because you're looking for validation to leave, everyone here is telling you the same thing so I will add to it.... Leave!!

When you are settled in another life you will shake your head and wonder why you didn't leave sooner.

 

very true.

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If what you say is true, you've done more than enough for this family, get out before any more damage is done--financially or emotionally.........if that's possible! Wait and see how much her "cousin" takes care of her or her family once you're gone, yeah right! Pretty sure he'll be down the road when he realizes the ATM machine has closed.

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17 hours ago, Hummin said:

There is a good reason for not having children with a thai! To many Stories alike this. 

I see more fault in the farang who put-up with that for so long.

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17 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Sounds like every marriage in the world after the first year or two.

Once you've bought them a house and they've popped a few kids, the sex is finished.

 

Too late for any advice, if you like the house you stay and bang giks on the side, like all the Thai guys do.

Sounds like you have been hurt a few times.  Although I have heard such tales, I have never encountered any of that in my relationships. Back to the old mantra; pick and choose your women well, or your life will indeed be hell.

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You seem to be your own worst enemy,you should have put your foot down

at the beginning,you seemed to have wasted a lot of money,that YOU worked

hard for,you must be a very weak man,to have your Ex wife and her family treat

you like shit,for so long.and even after divorce you are still living with her !!!

 

The other side of the story,ALL Thai woman are not like this,I was lucky,and never

put up with any of the shit,you let yourself be put through,from the beginning  I

told her,it's either her family or ours,they are getting nowt,you can still see them,

go to funerals ,weddings,be in contact with them and that's it.that was 30 years

ago,and i am sure i could not have found a better wife,she's a gem,Lucky ?,but

for every story of a bad wife,there are plenty of others just like me here,you never

hear about them,only the bad stuff.

regards worgeordie

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On first glance this seems like a no brainer !!

But it is easy to let things slide until one day you realise that they have got past a” point of no return “.

I wasted 10 years of my life clinging on to a marriage ( 20 years total ) that, with hindsight, if I had cut and run when I first realised that it was bad beyond repair I would have been a whole lot happier and saved a lot of heartache.

For 10 years I was in a marriage of convenience, sounds like you are now in this situation, you know you should leave but you are worried about the effects on the kids.

One day it hit me “ I don’t have to live this way anymore !! “ and from then on I started to live my life again ! .

My break was easier than yours ( no kids involved ) but you know you have to make it and are just deceiving yourself that somehow it’ll turn out okay............. IT WON’T !!

Make the move now and make your life your own again !!

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1 hour ago, zzaa09 said:

Yeah - these situations happen. 

 

And perhaps, not so common.

It's that these types of stories receive the most attention, therefore casting the expected stereotypes.

 

I guess it depends upon what you call common. I think these situations are all too common.

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58 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Why are you trashing Issan women?

I am married to the best Issan woman, no man could wish for a better wife.

Yet i agree with you 100% about families, they are just deadbeat as you say.

Well, there you go painting them all with the same brush, just like he was. Of course there are exceptions and of course there are worthless women and even more worthless families, but they are not all Isaan. 

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I feel for you, man. Often times men (me included, I'm afraid) take on far too much responsibility and then get treated like shit. I sometimes wonder why I work so f*&%$ng hard for a wife that has no gratitude whatsoever.

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16 minutes ago, worgeordie said:

You seem to be your own worst enemy,you should have put your foot down

at the beginning,you seemed to have wasted a lot of money,that YOU worked

hard for,you must be a very weak man,to have your Ex wife and her family treat

you like shit,for so long.and even after divorce you are still living with her !!!

 

The other side of the story,ALL Thai woman are not like this,I was lucky,and never

put up with any of the shit,you let yourself be put through,from the beginning  I

told her,it's either her family or ours,they are getting nowt,you can still see them,

go to funerals ,weddings,be in contact with them and that's it.that was 30 years

ago,and i am sure i could not have found a better wife,she's a gem,Lucky ?,but

for every story of a bad wife,there are plenty of others just like me here,you never

hear about them,only the bad stuff.

regards worgeordie

Exactly; I will give your family exactly as much money as they give mine.

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Arcturaz, I got the best advice on how to deal with things like this from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail. When faced with some great difficulty that is obviously unsolvable like you've described, the simple, but wise, advice was, "Run away! Run away!" And that's exactly what I'd advise you to do.

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17 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

and thank you for posting as your experience will help others who are about to get married have a better understanding of one of many possible downside to marriage in Thailand.

wishful thinking.......  

I am sure the poster has had a few guys tell him to jump ship over the years.  stubborn folk, these farangs.

 

 

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21 minutes ago, cms22 said:

I feel for you, man. Often times men (me included, I'm afraid) take on far too much responsibility and then get treated like shit. I sometimes wonder why I work so f*&%$ng hard for a wife that has no gratitude whatsoever.

please share.   why do you ?

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53 minutes ago, smotherb said:

I see more fault in the farang who put-up with that for so long.

Well, he is spotless and perfect to. I read the stories here with a cynicle view, but sometimes you find some essens in the stories, combined with what you have experienced and also learned from others. There is no golden rules in Thailand concerning relationships, except, do not invest more than you can afford to loose or walk away from. 

 

I could never walk away from kids in Thailand, and I know how challenging relationships can be with a Thaiwoman, therefor I will never ever lock me to a Thai woman completely. 

 

You can not just walk away from people when shit happens, and many do have emphaty with others, and therefor often, or to often stay longer than they should. It is easy to be a witness and see whats going on, but the person involved, often do not know or see before to late. 

 

 

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7 minutes ago, Hummin said:
  56 minutes ago, smotherb said:

I see more fault in the farang who put-up with that for so long

smother B.    found something i agree with you on !   

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 Depressed and alone - former US Navy man slashes his neck with box cutters in Pattaya bathroom

 

first 3 words say it all.   the reason so many farangs get into relationships that are bad....or turn bad... and then find it so hard to leave

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30 minutes ago, worgeordie said:

You seem to be your own worst enemy,you should have put your foot down

at the beginning,you seemed to have wasted a lot of money,that YOU worked

hard for,you must be a very weak man,to have your Ex wife and her family treat

you like shit,for so long.and even after divorce you are still living with her !!!

 

The other side of the story,ALL Thai woman are not like this,I was lucky,and never

put up with any of the shit,you let yourself be put through,from the beginning  I

told her,it's either her family or ours,they are getting nowt,you can still see them,

go to funerals ,weddings,be in contact with them and that's it.that was 30 years

ago,and i am sure i could not have found a better wife,she's a gem,Lucky ?,but

for every story of a bad wife,there are plenty of others just like me here,you never

hear about them,only the bad stuff.

regards worgeordie

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You seem to be your own worst enemy,you should have put your foot down

at the beginning,you seemed to have wasted a lot of money,that YOU worked

hard for,you must be a very weak man,to have your Ex wife and her family treat

you like shit,for so long.and even after divorce you are still living with her !!!

 

The other side of the story,ALL Thai woman are not like this,I was lucky,and never

put up with any of the shit,you let yourself be put through,from the beginning  I

told her,it's either her family or ours...

 

I suggest '... you must be a very weak man .... ' is quite inappropriate. 

 

'... I told her, it's either her family or ours...'   Agree, after many serious incidents with his wife's older brother and sister (all around their demands for cash, cars and more, all based on their belief they are entitled by Thai law to get big handouts), my Thai son had to tell his wife to make up her mind, commit 100% to your new family or leave permenantly and you can't take the children. She pushed aside and continues to push aside the demands from her brother and sister and now has little contact with them.

 

 

 

  

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