Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

[Jamesyboi]

- It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. -A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it''''s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

[lampard10]

- It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. -A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it''''s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

You forgot

to be an Actor, you must be able to see perfectly under water without goggles.

People that can't swim always go into the deep end.

Movie cars do not have seat belts.

Crime rate in in such a decline that no-body ever locks their car.

Kidnappers always take their victims to a place where there is no mobile phone signal.

[baabaabobo]

Good Post jamseyboi.

Here are some more:

- Nobody ever needs to go to the toilet EVER even when they are terrified.

- People never get out of the house when there is obvious danger there (ghosts, murderers etc.)

- Any apartment in Paris will have a view of the Eiffel Tower

- Airplanes are always quiet enough to hold a deep conversation

- People wear the same clothes for days on end and never need to shave.

- All movie babies are born HUGE, usually the size of the average two month old.

- In an office all the phones are ringing

- police only have one case at a time to handle.

- Plain girls always wear their hair in a bun and wear glasses and as soon as they take off their glasses and let their hair down, they're gorgeous

- Cute animals never crap or pee.

- Cars involved in accidents explode violently.

Whenever the hero is being chased he will always head upwards usually to the roof of a tall building where he will be forced to either jump or face his attackers.

- The guy with the bullet-proof vest never gets shot in the head or arm.

- Villains have no problem renting a helicopter complete with pilot who doesn't mind shooting total strangers, or being shot at.

- All movie mothers will prepare a breakfast, usually consisting of scrambled eggs, bacon, etc. Dad and the kids will invariably arrive at the table 30 seconds before Dad has to leave for the office and the kids have to catch the school bus. Each will have time only for a sip of coffee/juice and/or one bite of toast. There must be enough food left over in these homes to feed an emerging nation!

[Crossy]

By way of variation

COMPUTERS & ELECTRONICS (as depicted in movies)

• Word processors never display a cursor.
  
• You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
  
• All monitors display inch-high letters.
  
• High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces. Those that don't, have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
  
• Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
  
• Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS" (see Fortress).
  
• All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
  
• Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer. [see The Hunt For Red October or Alien]
  
• All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backwards.
  
• People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data. [see the opening credits for The Hunt For Red October]
  
• A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
  
• Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function (see Demolition Man and countless others).
  
• Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.
  
• When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
  
• If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.
  
• No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.
  
• The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has (Aliens). However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labelled.
  
• Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three- dimensional,active animation, photo-realistic graphics capability.
  
• Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY Supercomputer.
  
• Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face (see Alien, 2001, [Jurassic Park]).
  
• Searches on the internet will always return what you are looking for no matter how vague your keywords are. (See "Mission Impossible", Tom Cruise searches with keywords like "file" and "computer" an 3 results are returned.)
  
• However blurred, out-of-focus a photo may be, imaging technicians can deliver the most hi-resolution image from it (see X-files, CSI, and Raising Sun)
  
• When any computer accesses data, regardless of it's location or media type, the data access can be HEARD, and it always sounds like an old Miniscribe hard drive (see Jurassic Park 1 and most other movies w/computers)
  Some of the more iffy examples are here:- http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/doc...750&hasAd=1
  

Edited February 9, 2007 by Crossy