Seeking experts related to abuse.

[BestB]

6 minutes ago, benalibina said:

Again....my OP is not about divorce or custody. It is about childprotection against abuse and who can help me with finding a knowledgeable person or organisation.

 

Kapom.

Child abuse needs to be proven and it must be little more than auntie does not let kids see the father.

 

Physical abuse is easy to prove, emotional abuse almost impossible without professional help which also cost money

 

Paweena Hongsakun foundation for the protection of women and children. but again be prepared to show little more evidence that you had expressed in your post

 

Edited September 25, 2018 by BestB

[BestB]

3 minutes ago, Catkiwi said:

No I don't but to state, as a matter of fact, that there are no other options is fairly irresponsible, if you don't actually know, isn't it? Unless completely familiar with Thai law, which I certainly am not, we don't know what can be done to solve this poor guys predicament, do we? 

So you do not, yet here you are blabbing away some nonsense . Feel satisfied now or little more foolish?

[Catkiwi]

3 minutes ago, BestB said:

So you do not, yet here you are blabbing away some nonsense . Feel satisfied now or little more foolish?

What are you on man? Take a happy pill and go to bed.

[BestB]

1 minute ago, Catkiwi said:

What are you on man? Take a happy pill and go to bed.

So that would be the foolish then????

[benalibina]

5 hours ago, BestB said:

Child abuse needs to be proven and it must be little more than auntie does not let kids see the father.

 

Physical abuse is easy to prove, emotional abuse almost impossible without professional help which also cost money

 

Paweena Hongsakun foundation for the protection of women and children. but again be prepared to show little more evidence that you had expressed in your post

 

Auntie would be a good start though. Understand that it is not easy to prove. Hence my topic.

 

Ofcourse there is more evidence. Anyone with a peebrain can think ....why a father of 3 children, who lives 10.000 kms away is coming here and accuses his wife and her sister of emotional abuse to his children, is not doing that lightly or just to pass time.

 

Its all there if one wants to find it.

[BestB]

1 minute ago, benalibina said:

Auntie would be a good start though. Understand that it is not easy to prove. Hence my topic.

 

Ofcourse there is more evidence. Anyone with a peebrain can think ....why a father of 3 children, who lives 10.000 kms away is coming here and accuses his wife and her sister of emotional abuse to his children, is not doing that lightly or just to pass time.

 

Its all there if one wants to find it.

Not interested in arguing with you, you thinking emotionally , i am telling you how it is as i have no interest on the matter and outcome means nothing to me,

 

You have the contact for organisation now, but i am telling you again, your argument does not stand a chance of getting any help

 

You need solid , not emotional from your part proof of kids emotional abuse.

 

Your reasoning, why would father accuse his wife? is not a reasonable approach as there are millions of reasons why.

 

Find or make up solid evidence of kids being emotionally abused

[cyberfarang]

11 hours ago, benalibina said:

They live with their aunt because their mother hates me more than she loves the children. Control being the perogative word.

From Europe.

No, always did and still this shambles happened.

Am still married on paper.

Last year, to smoothen matters when i even sat together at a mediator with that aunt to get "visitationrights" (how crazy is it that i as a father need to do that ?). Ofcourse the result being they not kept to their end of the bargain.

Going to court is not an option for me. Unfortunately.

 

Thanks for asking these questions.

Sorry to say this but you sound like another Farang deadbeat dad.

 

Quite common, Farang comes to Thailand, falls in love with a Thai woman, the woman gets pregnant, for whatever reasons Farang can`t stay in Thailand, fails to adequately support the mother and his kids, Thai mother has to work to support herself and children, child or children end up being cared for by relatives while wife has to work, maybe she has to move to another area to find work.

 

Until this matter is settled in court and a legal agreement of how much and to financially support the mother of your children and the children, then you have no rights over those kids whatsoever and in these circumstances the aunt and your ex-wife or wife have every right to kick you to the kerb. In my country you would be imposed to pay child support and alimony to your wife. 

 

No excuses, either put up or move on.

 

 

[benalibina]

5 hours ago, BestB said:

Not interested in arguing with you, you thinking emotionally , i am telling you how it is as i have no interest on the matter and outcome means nothing to me,

 

You have the contact for organisation now, but i am telling you again, your argument does not stand a chance of getting any help

 

You need solid , not emotional from your part proof of kids emotional abuse.

 

Your reasoning, why would father accuse his wife? is not a reasonable approach as there are millions of reasons why.

 

Find or make up solid evidence of kids being emotionally abused

Nothing to do with emotion. Merely.pointed out that me coming here and accusing the beforementioned people would at least be a solid basis to take it seriously.

 

[JaiLai]

9 hours ago, benalibina said:

Which i consider ????

Which is, is a better way to describe it. I sincerely suggest that you educate yourself on this matter.

 

Actually i am quite shocked about your lack of knowledge related to this matter and moral code. This because you are well respected on here.

 

Again....my children do not have a father or mother in their daily lives and live amongst people who control them via fear a.o ....and thats ok ?????

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_alienation

Unfortunately for whatever reasons your last paragraph is pretty much the norm in the majority of this country.

 

Somchai gets Nok up the spout, they puke out a baby Somchai or Noi and then dump with Aunty / Grandparetns / next door neighbour then dissapear to back to work ( or not ) so they don't have the responsibilty of a child. It happens over and over.

 

A lady that lives not far from me is about 60 odd, currently she has 8 kids to look after, grandchildren / nieces and nephews etc.

 

Thai family life and ethics / morals are a joke, much like the country itself...

 

 

[BestB]

2 minutes ago, benalibina said:

Nothing to do with emotion. Merely.pointed out that me coming here and accusing the beforementioned people would at least be a solid basis to take it seriously.

 

no it is not. but you can do as you wish

[benalibina]

5 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

Sorry to say this but you sound like another Farang deadbeat dad.

 

Quite common, Farang comes to Thailand, falls in love with a Thai woman, the woman gets pregnant, for whatever reasons Farang can`t stay in Thailand, fails to adequately support the mother and his kids, Thai mother has to work to support herself and children, child or children end up being cared for by relatives while wife has to work, maybe she has to move to another area to find work.

 

Until this matter is settled in court and a legal agreement of how much and to financially support the mother of your children and the children, then you have no rights over those kids whatsoever and in these circumstances the aunt and your ex-wife or wife have every right to kick you to the kerb. In my country you would be imposed to pay child support and alimony to your wife. 

 

No excuses, either put up or move on.

 

 

It took a while but this type of comment was to be expected. Thanks to ignorant and judgemental people like you, who care nothing about children, a plenty of kids do not have a father in their life. But thats all ok by you it seems. Try read it all again...and again...best when you are sober.

[benalibina]

5 hours ago, BestB said:

no it is not. but you can do as you wish

Ohhh

[Catkiwi]

12 minutes ago, JaiLai said:

Unfortunately for whatever reasons your last paragraph is pretty much the norm in the majority of this country.

 

Somchai gets Nok up the spout, they puke out a baby Somchai or Noi and then dump with Aunty / Grandparetns / next door neighbour then dissapear to back to work ( or not ) so they don't have the responsibilty of a child. It happens over and over.

 

A lady that lives not far from me is about 60 odd, currently she has 8 kids to look after, grandchildren / nieces and nephews etc.

 

Thai family life and ethics / morals are a joke, much like the country itself...

 

 

A bit too much generalising there. Why stay here if the morals and ethics are so bad and you think that the country is a joke? 

Edited September 25, 2018 by Catkiwi

[Rhys]

.. sadly, I would believe you are in for more  Thai ways of family relationship... Do you best.. but it is their game and you don't know the rules.

 

All the best mate.

 

Edited September 25, 2018 by Rhys

[cyberfarang]

1 minute ago, benalibina said:

It took a while but this type of comment was to be expected. Thanks to ignorant and judgemental people like you, who care nothing about children, a plenty of kids do not have a father in their life. But thats all ok by you it seems. Try read it all again...and again...best when you are sober.

Seems you don`t like the truth and don`t want to face facts.

 

What exactly can you do for your children? If plenty of kids don`t have a father in their lives is your attitude, then it`s as I said; you are a deadbeat dad. But  everyone else is blame and not you, right?

[Catkiwi]

16 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

Sorry to say this but you sound like another Farang deadbeat dad.

 

Quite common, Farang comes to Thailand, falls in love with a Thai woman, the woman gets pregnant, for whatever reasons Farang can`t stay in Thailand, fails to adequately support the mother and his kids, Thai mother has to work to support herself and children, child or children end up being cared for by relatives while wife has to work, maybe she has to move to another area to find work.

 

Until this matter is settled in court and a legal agreement of how much and to financially support the mother of your children and the children, then you have no rights over those kids whatsoever and in these circumstances the aunt and your ex-wife or wife have every right to kick you to the kerb. In my country you would be imposed to pay child support and alimony to your wife. 

 

No excuses, either put up or move on.

 

 

You don't know that his financial contributions, or anything else you have said is fact. Why are you giving this guy such a hard time when he is only asking for advise?

[JaiLai]

9 minutes ago, Catkiwi said:

A bit too much generalising there. Why stay here if the morals and ethics are so bad and you think that the country is a joke? 

I'm not making this up, it's what i've seen ( and continue to see ) in everyday life, it's the majority.

 

Why stay - you can open another thread for discussion if you wish but i find if i interact as little as possible with the locals then it's bearable, i like the weather and food, is that ok?

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, benalibina said:

Again....my OP is not about divorce or custody. It is about childprotection against abuse and who can help me with finding a knowledgeable person or organisation.

 

Kapom.

This may not be about "divorce or custody" , but its also not about abuse .

You are just using that word to get attention .

Making a false allegation to get other people to help you .

What do you actually want ?

Seems like you just want to cause trouble for their mum .

Flying 10 000 miles doesnt prove your allegations .

[benalibina]

5 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

Seems you don`t like the truth and don`t want to face facts.

 

What exactly can you do for your children? If plenty of kids don`t have a father in their lives is your attitude, then it`s as I said; you are a deadbeat dad. But  everyone else is blame and not you, right?

You are correct, i started to make the children scared of their mother by manipulating, controlling and abusing them. And now all this has backfired and why oh why dare i complain ? Try separate matters. Its at least good that the children have warm, loving and goodhearted people around them who assist them 100% into becoming free independant adults who only need to fend for themselves. And not for the family.

[cyberfarang]

5 minutes ago, Catkiwi said:

You don't know that his financial contributions, or anything else you have said is fact. Why are you giving this guy such a hard time when he is only asking for advise?

I have kids with my Thai wife that are adults now. There is no way I would go back to England leaving my kids in Thailand to be cared for by relatives of my wife. No matter what my situation and I would fight tooth and nail for my kids as any loving caring parent would. My kids are my life and if I was estranged from my wife, I would be kissing her backside if need be to get access to my children. If the wife refused me access I would do whatever it takes to have visitation rights for my kids.

 

I`m not deliberately giving the guy a hard time, it`s the children I feel pity for, having the experience of enduring a crap childhood from a dysfunctional family myself. And believe me it stays with you for the rest of your life and why I ensured my kids had a much better quality of life than I did.

[benalibina]

5 hours ago, sanemax said:

This may not be about "divorce or custody" , but its also not about abuse .

You are just using that word to get attention .

Making a false allegation to get other people to help you .

What do you actually want ?

Seems like you just want to cause trouble for their mum .

Flying 10 000 miles doesnt prove your allegations .

I want to cause trouble...you must be joking. Did i hit a raw nerve when i wrote that i would not give up on my kids, like you did ?

 

I truly wonder the lack of ....from some people on here. I can understand if they never had children but with you that is not the situation. According to what you wrote before. 

 

It must really be slow day for you on this forum. Hope tomorrow will be better.

[Catkiwi]

6 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

I have kids with my Thai wife that are adults now. There is no way I would go back to England leaving my kids in Thailand to be cared for by relatives of my wife. No matter what my situation and I would fight tooth and nail for my kids as any loving caring parent would. My kids are my life and if I was estranged from my wife, I would be kissing her backside if need be to get access to my children. If the wife refused me access I would do whatever it takes to have visitation rights for my kids.

 

I`m not deliberately giving the guy a hard time, it`s the children I feel pity for, having the experience of enduring a crap childhood from a dysfunctional family myself. And believe me it stays with you for the rest of your life and why I ensured my kids had a much better quality of life than I did.

Totally understand where you are coming from. Although there are probably several reasons why he can't stay in Thailand full time. No job, visa or whatever. From what I read, there is no dead beat father syndrome with this guy, he just doesn't know what to do. Maybe looking for some constructive ideas from experienced blokes such as your good self...

[benalibina]

5 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

I have kids with my Thai wife that are adults now. There is no way I would go back to England leaving my kids in Thailand to be cared for by relatives of my wife. No matter what my situation and I would fight tooth and nail for my kids as any loving caring parent would. My kids are my life and if I was estranged from my wife, I would be kissing her backside if need be to get access to my children. If the wife refused me access I would do whatever it takes to have visitation rights for my kids.

 

I`m not deliberately giving the guy a hard time, it`s the children I feel pity for, having the experience of enduring a crap childhood from a dysfunctional family myself. And believe me it stays with you for the rest of your life and why I ensured my kids had a much better quality of life than I did.

I am truly baffled by this comment after reading  your earlier comments. Are you schizofrenic ?

[Cletus]

You messed up your and their life. You look like an irresponsible person to me, but I may be wrong.

Good luck anyway.

[sanemax]

3 minutes ago, benalibina said:

I want to cause trouble...you must be joking. Did i hit a raw nerve when i wrote that i would not give up on my kids, like you did ?

I truly wonder the lack of ....from some people on here. I can understand if they never had children but with you that is not the situation. According to what you wrote before. 

It must really be slow day for you on this forum. Hope tomorrow will be better.

You have mentioned that 3 times now , about myself leaving my kid .

I didnt finish off my story , did I .

I stayed in Thailand and managed to get my kid back .

You was the one who went home and left your kids here .

I didnt , I stayed and got mine back

The fact that you have used that (you thinking that I left my boy) as a term of abuse towards me, shows what type of person that you are .

   You gave up on your kids by going home, I stayed and got mine back .

[cyberfarang]

14 minutes ago, benalibina said:

I want to cause trouble...you must be joking. Did i hit a raw nerve when i wrote that i would not give up on my kids, like you did ?

 

I truly wonder the lack of ....from some people on here. I can understand if they never had children but with you that is not the situation. According to what you wrote before. 

 

It must really be slow day for you on this forum. Hope tomorrow will be better.

It`s your children you should be justifying your behaviour to, not us. We are nothing and our opinions mean nothing, to you your kids should mean everything. Everything I own, most things that I do are for the benefit of my kids. I am in my early 60s now, as is my Thai wife. All my assets are for my children. Once I`m gone they will inherit it all, and that`s what I`ve strived for since they were born for their future. Maybe this goes above your head, but that`s what most parents do.

 

If you want to be with your children then you`re going to have to work for it. There are no fast track quick solutions to your problem, now it`s up to you, nothing we can do.

Edited September 25, 2018 by cyberfarang

[benalibina]

5 hours ago, sanemax said:

You have mentioned that 3 times now , about myself leaving my kid .

I didnt finish off my story , did I .

I stayed in Thailand and managed to get my kid back .

You was the one who went home and left your kids here .

I didnt , I stayed and got mine back

The fact that you have used that (you thinking that I left my boy) as a term of abuse towards me, shows what type of person that you are .

   You gave up on your kids by going home, I stayed and got mine back .

Sorry that i am not a clairvoyant. Anyway, well done then. I am not abusing anyone on here. Typical that people who write themselves in a nasty manner get upset if they feel its done to them too.

[cyberfarang]

13 minutes ago, Catkiwi said:

Totally understand where you are coming from. Although there are probably several reasons why he can't stay in Thailand full time. No job, visa or whatever. From what I read, there is no dead beat father syndrome with this guy, he just doesn't know what to do. Maybe looking for some constructive ideas from experienced blokes such as your good self...

If I were in that situation I would have worn something at the end of it and of course there are such things as contraceptives and birth controls. At any court in the UK the childrens needs are always top priority, before the parents, as it should be.

[Scott]

Inflammatory post has been reported and removed.  

[sanemax]

Just now, benalibina said:

Sorry that i am not a clairvoyant. Anyway, well done then. I am not abusing anyone on here. Typical that people who write themselves in a nasty manner get upset if they feel its done to them too.

I havent wrote anything to you in a "nasty" manner .

You seem to think that anyone who disagrees with you , is being abusive .

If a poster suggests you are doing something wrong , you seem to take it as personal abuse .