Seeking experts related to abuse.

[Social Media]

Seems to me you have all the answers and wont listen to anyone, That speaks as to your refusal to compromise on any of this issue.

 

You scream injustice and abuse and yet you are responsible for the situation as much as anyone. It takes to sides, there are two sodes to every story and you continually and repeatedly hurl abuse at their activities and behaviour, when your own is comparable !

 

Try putting the children first and what they may want, and it isnt warring parents, or you trying to drive a wedge between them all screaming at authorities for intervention and threatening them when you visit. How do you think that makes the kids feel being put in the middle like that ? Grow up !! and try to rech a compromise, try to heal atleast partially the rift, its not about what YOU want, 

You should be doing whatever it takes, swallow your pride eat crap whatever it takes to reach a resolution and/or a compromise somewhere instead of looking who is to blame and trying to make them at fault no matter what.

 

Quit being part of the problem and start being the solution, for the children, not a constant embarrassment "Farang" that will be ostricized by the family.

 

You are the one that needs the expert help and guidance! because you are blinded by your emotions and have become very bitter and totally unbalanced in your approach.

 

 

Edited October 21, 2018 by Black Ops

[dennis123]

I'm not as political correct as the rest but I pretty much agree with what Cyberfarang had to say.

 

You come to Thailand, you married a hooker from Phuket, not just produce one kid but THREE ????

 

You're not financially stable, what the <deleted> you do in Thailand and make 3 kids if you don't have the means to stay in Thailand???

 

You live 10000km away, don't support the (ex)wife or she wouldn't be whoring around in Phuket.

 

And everyone that points out the obvious is either crazy or drunk, and you're the perfect father.

 

LMFAO.

[CharlieH]

A number of "bickering" posts have been removed.

 

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.

9) You will not post inflammatory messages on the forum, or attempt to disrupt discussions to upset its participants, or trolling. Trolling can be defined as the act of purposefully antagonizing other people on the internet by posting controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.
 

 

 

[Catkiwi]

This topic has been thrashed to bits, has it not? Please for the love of god, give it up now!!!!

[fanjita]

All the good advice is going to go through one ear and out the other.  

[benalibina]

5 hours ago, Catkiwi said:

This topic has been thrashed to bits, has it not? Please for the love of god, give it up now!!!!

People just like to bash and believe that long written posts and socalled balanced statements give credence to their uninformed opinion. Thats what forums are for i guess.

 

Those without fault throws the 1st stone.

[benalibina]

6 hours ago, dennis123 said:

I'm not as political correct as the rest but I pretty much agree with what Cyberfarang had to say.

 

You come to Thailand, you married a hooker from Phuket, not just produce one kid but THREE ????

 

You're not financially stable, what the <deleted> you do in Thailand and make 3 kids if you don't have the means to stay in Thailand???

 

You live 10000km away, don't support the (ex)wife or she wouldn't be whoring around in Phuket.

 

And everyone that points out the obvious is either crazy or drunk, and you're the perfect father.

 

LMFAO.

I agree with you i should have opted for 2 abortions too. 

 

Happy now ?

[benalibina]

7 hours ago, Black Ops said:

Seems to me you have all the answers and wont listen to anyone, That speaks as to your refusal to compromise on any of this issue.

 

You scream injustice and abuse and yet you are responsible for the situation as much as anyone. It takes to sides, there are two sodes to every story and you continually and repeatedly hurl abuse at their activities and behaviour, when your own is comparable !

 

Try putting the children first and what they may want, and it isnt warring parents, or you trying to drive a wedge between them all screaming at authorities for intervention and threatening them when you visit. How do you think that makes the kids feel being put in the middle like that ? Grow up !! and try to rech a compromise, try to heal atleast partially the rift, its not about what YOU want, 

You should be doing whatever it takes, swallow your pride eat crap whatever it takes to reach a resolution and/or a compromise somewhere instead of looking who is to blame and trying to make them at fault no matter what.

 

Quit being part of the problem and start being the solution, for the children, not a constant embarrassment "Farang" that will be ostricized by the family.

 

You are the one that needs the expert help and guidance! because you are blinded by your emotions and have become very bitter and totally unbalanced in your approach.

 

 

Its truly amazing this whole comment full of easy platitudes. 

 

I need experts and guidance indeed. As per my question in the topic. 

 

I am bitter, you stated. No, i am saddened that nobody gives a damn about 3 children who live in fear with their aunt and that nobody cares about it. I would become bitter if i let it all go and let them get on with it.

 

But hey, you are free to state your opinion, unlike my children.

[sanemax]

8 hours ago, benalibina said:

Ohhhh....you know my inlaws ????

You have claimed that everyone else in this story has mental problems and they are all wrong about everything : The kids mum , her sister , the sisters husband , the school teachers , the Police , social services , child welfare investigators and a few posters on here , all got mental problems.

   Because they disagree with you , you accuse them of having mental problems .

You still havent stated your objectives , your just seem to want everyone else to realise that they are wrong and they got mental problems .

   Do you want to live full time with the kids ?

IMO ,taking the kids out from school unannounced was the wrong thing to do , that was never going to end well and you are fortunate not to end up either in jail or in hospital .

  What you should have done is to speak to the Aunty and the kids mum and arrange to take them all out for a meal somewhere , in the evening .

  You need to stop fighting against everyone and have a reconciliation , that is the only way.

Since you seem to have involve the authorities and put investigators on them, a reconciliation may now not be an option .

   You may still view yourself as being the father who is head of the family , they just view you as an ex-boyfriend causing trouble .

  The kids and family seem to be doing fine without you and you have to realise that you are surplus to requirements .

   You need to speak to the mother , aunty and family and bury the hatchet , seek a peaceful reconciliation , offer to give them weekly maintenance to support the kids and that you can see them regularly , with prior agreement .

  Yourself causing trouble at the school and with the family and with social services may cause the children to want nothing more to do with you .

  You should be thankful to the aunty for taking care of the kids , rather than being confrontational with them .

  If the mother cannot take care of the kids and the aunty decides that she doesnt want to take care of the kids , you may find that the kids are put into a Government boarding school in the Countryside

[dennis123]

12 hours ago, benalibina said:

I agree with you i should have opted for 2 abortions too. 

 

Happy now ?

How about using a condom or she taking the pill?

 

You always come up with such strange solutions.

[Puwa]

OP, I'm going to ignore all the other stuff and try to answer your request. I was going to recommend you contact CPCR, but I see you've already been in touch. You might also try the Foundation for Children, though I suspect that it has less capacity than CPCR. But these organizations deal largely with physical and sexual abuse, or extreme poverty. They do many things well. I gather that the children are in Pitsanulok, and that's where CPCR found a caseworker at a local shelter to pay a visit to the sister. Even if the report did not favor your opinion, you should think of that caseworker as an ally-- at least someone in P'lok is likely to put the children's welfare above any family squabble

 

You might also seek out a good child psychologist from Bangkok to interview each child separately and determine whether they are facing mental or emotional abuse, according to a clinical definition. If the answer is no, then you should feel relief and may want to reconsider your position. If the answer is yes, then you have powerful, authoritative evidence for family court. 

 

However, success depends on your ability to relate to others, communicate clearly and respectfully, and think strategically. When I read the text of your reply to CPCR, I feel that you could have handled it much better, keeping a door open for future contact. You might have, for example, thanked them for coordinating for you and asked for the name of the shelter so that you might follow up yourself. Accusing them of not caring about children was a case of burning a bridge before you even cross it. Anyway, good luck. 

[benalibina]

5 hours ago, Puwa said:

OP, I'm going to ignore all the other stuff and try to answer your request. I was going to recommend you contact CPCR, but I see you've already been in touch. You might also try the Foundation for Children, though I suspect that it has less capacity than CPCR. But these organizations deal largely with physical and sexual abuse, or extreme poverty. They do many things well. I gather that the children are in Pitsanulok, and that's where CPCR found a caseworker at a local shelter to pay a visit to the sister. Even if the report did not favor your opinion, you should think of that caseworker as an ally-- at least someone in P'lok is likely to put the children's welfare above any family squabble

 

You might also seek out a good child psychologist from Bangkok to interview each child separately and determine whether they are facing mental or emotional abuse, according to a clinical definition. If the answer is no, then you should feel relief and may want to reconsider your position. If the answer is yes, then you have powerful, authoritative evidence for family court. 

 

However, success depends on your ability to relate to others, communicate clearly and respectfully, and think strategically. When I read the text of your reply to CPCR, I feel that you could have handled it much better, keeping a door open for future contact. You might have, for example, thanked them for coordinating for you and asked for the name of the shelter so that you might follow up yourself. Accusing them of not caring about children was a case of burning a bridge before you even cross it. Anyway, good luck. 

Thanks for your factual reply without bias. 

 

As indicated in an earlier reply to CPCR i informed them about how the people at that same shelter handled it last year. 

 

The whole matter with this type of abuse...pathogenic parenting a.o...is that one needs to ask the right questions in order to see the abuse. Heck, in the West many psychologists do not even know how. Unknown field. Fysical and sexual abuse are way easier to spot.

 

Maybe it was not wise for me to reply like that to them but if it would have been taken seriously last year and now again, they would have contacted me, again.

 

I have been everywhere last year started with a childpsychologist in bkk and she was unfamiliair with this type of abuse. She however took me seriously and forwarded me to that same shelter. So not under instructions of CPCR the caseworkers paid a visit to the aunt. This happened already last year.

 

Anyway...the rest is history. I will try to contact the childwelfare organisation you referred me too.

 

Thanks again.

Edited October 22, 2018 by benalibina
Spelling

[CharlieH]

Posts removed.

 

If this bickering etc continues this topic will be CLOSED,

 

[benalibina]

16 hours ago, sanemax said:

You have claimed that everyone else in this story has mental problems and they are all wrong about everything : The kids mum , her sister , the sisters husband , the school teachers , the Police , social services , child welfare investigators and a few posters on here , all got mental problems.

   Because they disagree with you , you accuse them of having mental problems .

You still havent stated your objectives , your just seem to want everyone else to realise that they are wrong and they got mental problems .

   Do you want to live full time with the kids ?

IMO ,taking the kids out from school unannounced was the wrong thing to do , that was never going to end well and you are fortunate not to end up either in jail or in hospital .

  What you should have done is to speak to the Aunty and the kids mum and arrange to take them all out for a meal somewhere , in the evening .

  You need to stop fighting against everyone and have a reconciliation , that is the only way.

Since you seem to have involve the authorities and put investigators on them, a reconciliation may now not be an option .

   You may still view yourself as being the father who is head of the family , they just view you as an ex-boyfriend causing trouble .

  The kids and family seem to be doing fine without you and you have to realise that you are surplus to requirements .

   You need to speak to the mother , aunty and family and bury the hatchet , seek a peaceful reconciliation , offer to give them weekly maintenance to support the kids and that you can see them regularly , with prior agreement .

  Yourself causing trouble at the school and with the family and with social services may cause the children to want nothing more to do with you .

  You should be thankful to the aunty for taking care of the kids , rather than being confrontational with them .

  If the mother cannot take care of the kids and the aunty decides that she doesnt want to take care of the kids , you may find that the kids are put into a Government boarding school in the Countryside

What a nonsensical comment. Your last paragraph shows that you must know....not much

 

I have twin daughters..they are the big prize for their aunt. Future moneymakers under full control of her and the family....

 

I strongly suggest you read a plenty of other topics over here and get educated about the thai village culture.

 

As i should have done in the past.

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, benalibina said:

What a nonsensical comment. Your last paragraph shows that you must know....not much

I have twin daughters..they are the big prize for their aunt. Future moneymakers under full control of her and the family....

I strongly suggest you read a plenty of other topics over here and get educated about the thai village culture.

As i should have done in the past.

Although I am not fully aware of your situation and it may well not apply to you and your kids , my last paragraph wasnt nonsense at all .

   There are boarding schools in the countryside , where people send their kids to live full time , if they cannot take care of them .

  OK, that may or may not apply to your kids family , but its certainly not nonsense

[benalibina]

13 hours ago, sanemax said:

Although I am not fully aware of your situation and it may well not apply to you and your kids , my last paragraph wasnt nonsense at all .

   There are boarding schools in the countryside , where people send their kids to live full time , if they cannot take care of them .

  OK, that may or may not apply to your kids family , but its certainly not nonsense

This topic is about abuse. Emotional abuse via manipulation, brainwashing. I wonder how you really could think that they would sent the kids upcountry. Its all about control. Like every type of abuse. So all your previous comments were just uninformed bashings. Anyway...i hope it has given you some enjoyement as you have not contributed anything to the topic question.

[CharlieH]

Persistent bickering.

 

CLOSED.