Worst Joke Ever 2024

[ravip]

[fangless]

13 hours ago, Zyxel said:

I'd carpet the newspapars and Facebook with Adds plugging the tradesmanperson responsible and warning them to tread carefully!

 

 

PS;  I have either gone all PC with the tradesperson thing or I just don't believe a man could do such a shocking job.

Edited September 8, 2021 by fangless
PS added

[roo860]

[sanuk711]

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Picture of Andy who has fled to his mommies again--

Hiding from those nasty men who want to serve him papers in a Rape case.

Don’t they listen? He has already said on tv that he is willing to talk to them,

 

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[ravip]

Chat Up Line - Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?

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[ravip]

Police Officer Bryant found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.

 

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so Bryant investigated and found the problem.

 

10 year old Dennis was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said "Radar Trap Ahead."

 

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading "Tips" and a bucket at his feet, full of change.

[ravip]

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all entered a 26 mile long swimming race.

After 12 miles the Scottish man gets tired and drops out.

Then after 16 miles the English man gets tired and drops out.

After 25 miles the Irish man decides he can't finish the race, so he turns around and swims back to the start.

[ravip]

Last week Ronnie Walsh went to the movies at the Rialto Cinema in Bristol to see "Slumdog Millionaire" but because of two women loudly chatting together who were sitting in the row in front of him, Ronnie was unable to hear the dialogue clearly.

 

Ronnie leaned forward and said in a stage whisper, 'Excuse me ladies but I can't hear.' 'I should hope not,' stormed the woman, 'this is a private conversation.'

[fangless]

51 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

Better off with a box of matches and a box of firelighters!

[fangless]

8 minutes ago, ravip said:

After 12 miles the Scottish man gets tired and drops out.

Then after 16 miles the English man gets tired and drops out.

If you drop out while swimming in the sea where do you end up?

Answers on a soggy postcard please!

[fangless]

15 minutes ago, ravip said:

Or the engineer one could be a ladyboy!

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[fangless]

 A man complained to his friend: ‘My wife is always asking me for more money. A month ago she asked me for $100, two weeks ago she said she wanted $200, and yesterday it was $400.’ 
 ‘What does she do with it all?’ asked the friend. 
 ‘I don’t know. I never give her any.’ 
 

[fangless]

A man was walking along the street when he noticed a bottle lying in the gutter. He picked up the bottle and decided to rub it for good luck. To his amazement, a genie appeared. * 
 ‘I will grant you three wishes,’ said the genie, ‘but I must warn you, there is a catch. For each wish I grant, every lawyer in the world will receive double what you ask for. Do you understand?’ 
 ‘I think so,’ said the man. 
 ‘Right,’ said the genie. ‘What is your first wish?’ 
 ‘My first wish,’ replied the man, ‘is for a Rolls-Royce. I’ve always wanted a Rolls-Royce.’ 
 ‘Then you shall have a Rolls-Royce,’ answered the genie, ‘and all the lawyers in the world will be given two Rolls-Royces. Now what is your second wish?’ 
 ‘I could use a million dollars,’ said the man. 
 ‘Very well,’ said the genie. ‘You shall have a million dollars. But you do realise that means that every lawyer in the world will become two million dollars richer? Now what is your third wish?’ 

 The man instantly said. ‘Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney.’