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Posted

Last night I was in a bar when me and a friend got in an argument with some tough-looking blokes. My mate quickly whispered to me "Let's pretend we're the police"..
Long story short, they kicked the <deleted> out of us before we even got through the first verse of "Roxanne".

  • Haha 1
Posted

Interviewer: "so you don't object to us contacting your previous employer, just to make sure you're going to fit in here?"
Me: "not not at all, as long as I can speak to your previous employees to ask why they left".

  • Like 2
Posted

Just been for a job interview for a running coach...
They asked "When are you able to start?"
I replied "As soon as the pistol's fired".

Posted

Why is it, when girls wear skimpy, revealing bikinis on holiday, they don't mind you staring at them? Yet if you catch them wearing only their bra and knickers, they scream and shout and cover themselves up with a towel?
Sort it out Ladies. I don't climb up this ladder for the good of my health you know.

  • Like 1

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