Worst Joke Ever 2024

[dcsw53]

[dcsw53]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

 

Edited January 16, 2023 by roo860

[roo860]

[roo860]

It has been determined that the most used sexual position for old married couples is the doggie position.
The husband sits up and begs.
The wife rolls over and plays dead.

[ballpoint]

Anne Summers have announced that they are going to start selling a new lager flavoured gel that women can rub on their "Bits".

However, campaigner's want it banned amid fears of 24 hour "minge" drinking.

[ballpoint]

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a housewarming party.

Now I’m homeless.

[ballpoint]

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight.' she replied.
'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:
'I've outlived the bitches.'

[ballpoint]

I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand, I’m ok.

[ballpoint]

"Thankfully, Cardinal Pell will never enter Sydney again."

Said Sydney's Mum.

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

My grandad's dog died not long after he passed away.
I forgot to feed him as well.

[ballpoint]

Three English rockstars are hanging out comparing the best gifts they’ve ever received from royalty and looking for bragging rights.

They’re in Roger Daltrey’s house and he’s showing off this amazing silver pinball machine. “This custom made silver Tommy pinball machine was given to me by the King of Sweden. He was a big fan of Pinball Wizard so he gave me this. Look, even the balls are solid silver.”

Not to be outdone Paul McCartney pulls out a jewellery box, opens it and shows off an exquisite 24 carat gold beetle encrusted with diamonds and emeralds. “This was given to me by the Emperor of Japan; he was always a fan of The Beatles. Just look at the size of the diamond on its back. What do you have Mick?”

So Mick Jagger reaches into his pocket and pulls out an old paper napkin, opens it up and shows the other two what looks like a very stale and mouldy old bread roll and says “this was a gift from the King of Morocco; it’s fabulous”.

Daltrey and McCartney burst out laughing; “what the ****’s that Jagger” they sneer “a stupid piece of old bread”.

Mick smiles and says “I know, it’s only Moroccan roll but I like it”

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[roo860]

[overherebc]

[carlyai]

On 1/15/2023 at 1:18 PM, Zyxel said:

'Not without a washer you don't!'

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[Thailand]

The old ones!

 

 

[roo860]

[VBF]

8 minutes ago, Thailand said:

The old ones!

 

 

Ah....... the wonderful Jethro (RIP)

[overherebc]