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Posted

Stephan asked his girlfriend to have tattoos of a conch shells inked on both her inner thighs. That way he could press each ear on the conch shells to hear and smell the ocean at the same time

What does a woman’s panties and nail polish have in common? The both come off with alcohol.

Man: “Can I buy you a drink?... Lady: “Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.” Man: “Does it make them swell?” Lady: “No it makes them spread.”

Wife: “I have a bag of old clothing I’d like to donate.” Husband: “Why not throw them in the trash, it’s much easier. Wife: But there are poor starving women who could really use them.” Husband: ”Anyone who fits into your clothes is not starving. Husband’s right eye is slowly recovering.

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Posted

A girl is at a bar, and there are three guys next to her jabbering and carrying on and really getting on her nerves. The worst part was, they all had stutters.

So she says to them, "Listen, I came here for a little peace of mind, and I just can't stand listening to you guys any more. Here's a deal: Tell me where you're from. If you can say it without stuttering, I'll blow you. But if you can't, you have to leave. Deal?"

"D-D-Deal!" say the guys.

So she says to the first guy, \`Where are you from?"

The guy concentrates, screws up his face and says, "T-T-Tampa!"

"One down," says the girl. "Adios. Next?"

The second guys concentrates and concentrates and finally says, "OrlanD-D-D-o!"

"Two down," says the girl, and turns to the third guy. "How about you?"

The guys says, "Miami."

Well, she's a girl of her word. She gets on her knees and starts blowing him.

Just as the guy is coming, he says, "B-B-B-Beach!"

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Posted

A stuttering man sits in a train

He is in a cabin with two other guys. He asks the one guy: "h-h-hey d-d-d-do you know wha-a-at t-t-time it is?"
The other guy looks at him, doesn't reply. So the stuttering guy repeats his question: "h-h-hey d-d-d-do you know wha-a-at t-t-time it is?"
Still nothing. So the stuttering guy angrily gets off at the next stop. The third guy in the cabin asks:" hey man, why didn't you just tell him the time?"
The other guy replies: "D-d-do you thi-i-ink i wa-a-ant to g-g-get b-b-beaten up?"

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Posted
Just now, BritManToo said:

Same for your post!

 

We could go on forever ...

 

Good for traffic but not for other members ???? 

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