Worst Joke Ever 2024

[oxo1947]

[oxo1947]

[oxo1947]

[oxo1947]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[still kicking]

[roo860]

Rod Stewart and Meatloaf - in happier times.

[oxo1947]

[oxo1947]

[oxo1947]

[oxo1947]

[roo860]

Born on this day in 1972. TV Presenter Claudia Winkleman.

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

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[ballpoint]

[Zyxel]

A man walks into a bar with a solemn look on his face,The bartender ask “Whats wrong buddy?” He replies “My wife and her high priced lawyer just cleaned me out in divorce court’. “ Damn lawyers, they’re all A-holes”. The man sitting next to the newly divorced guy says, “ Hey mister, I overheard what you just said and i highly resent your remark” “Why, asked the divorcee, are you a lawyer?”

“No said the man, I’m an A-Hole”

[ballpoint]

I was sitting at a red light yesterday, minding my own business and patiently waiting for it to turn green, even though there was no oncoming traffic.

A carload of young and very loud red necks, with a Confederate flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car, and a "guns 'n Jesus" slogan spray painted on the side, was stopped next to me.

Suddenly one did a screaming rebel yell, fired his gun in the air and the car took off before the light changed.

Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man....that could have been me!"

So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.

[Zyxel]

Do short people start their stores like “When I was little” or do they just say “as I am now?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[ravip]

Puns (un)intended 

 

1. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. 

 

2. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. 

 

3. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. 

 

4. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. 

 

5. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.  

6. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired. 

 

7. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye. 

 

8. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. 

 

9. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.

 

10. Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
Yes, we arson.

 

11. Why is ‘dark’ spelt with a k and not c? 
Because you can’t 'c' in the dark.

 

12. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? 
Well, because time will tell.

 

13. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.

 

14. I’m trying to organize a hide-n-seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

 

15. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness!!!

 

[jvs]

Like so many people around the world my wife and i decided to join the "Dry January "

movement.

 

half way thru the month now and i can give you a little update.

This whole dry thing is just a little bit uncomfortable for me but my wife hates it!

She claims it hurts every time!

 

Disclaimer,before you post a confused emoji think about it.

[Tippaporn]

On 1/11/2024 at 2:26 PM, jvs said:

On 1/10/2024 at 6:57 PM, still kicking said:

'I Want to Break Free' (Queen) Performed In North Korea

 

Oh ,the irony.

 

Well, it's an all girl band so credit where credit is due.  At least they're not misogynistic.