Worst Joke Ever 2024

[tifino]

4 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

In times of lockdown, we have to make our own entertainment.  Every Friday night I send flowers to my neighbour's wife, labelled "From Steve", and settle down with the popcorn to watch the fight.

lucky she's Not into Steve Adores  

[ballpoint]

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[ravip]

Old salt appears in court charged with multiple counts of rape, sexual assault, buggery and obscene behaviour. When asked how he pleads he mumbled something inaudible in response..

 

"Speak up man" ordered the judge upon which the defence barrister said "Your honour my client has a very sore throat and is unable to speak"........

 

"would he like to suck a Fisherman's Friend?" enquired the judge

 

"No your honour" replied the barrister "I think he's in enough <deleted>' trouble as it is"

[roo860]

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[sanuk711]

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[Seth1a2a]

[ravip]

An expensive snore cure

A woman was nearing the end of her tether – every night her husband was snored so loudly that it kept her awake.

She decided to call the family doctor to see if there was anything that could be done to relieve her nightly suffering.

“Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband of his snoring,”  said the doctor, “but I must warn you that it is rather expensive.

It will cost you a deposit of £15,000, and payments of £1,000 for 48 months, as well as money for extras.”

“Good grief!” exclaimed the woman. “That sounds like I’m buying a yacht!”

“Hmm,” the doctor murmured, “too obvious, huh?

[Seth1a2a]

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[sanuk711]

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[Hamus Yaigh]

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My wife threw part of a lettuce at me last week. 

That was just the tip of the iceberg...

This week she threw sodium chloride at me.

Now it's a salt!

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Met a girl the other night. I said, "I'm gonna make love to you in my lounge, bedroom, kitchen, and the hallway!"

She said, "It's nice to pull a bloke with your kind of stamina!"

She was gutted when I took her back to my caravan!

[ballpoint]

It's true.  I just lay down on a trolley for a quick nap and some <deleted> stole my appendix.