fangless Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 14 minutes ago, Zyxel said: It is a pity they do not say if you have to pay and if so will you get screwed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. Best man says "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited?" Groom replies "I just had the best <deleted> I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me" Now the bride comes walking down the aisle and she too has the biggest brightest smile on her face. Maid of Honour says "Hey girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited?" The bride replies "I have just given the last <deleted> of my entire life." 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 A chip shop in Greenock, Scotland, is selling 'Britain's unhealthiest takeaway'. It's actually a nutritious salad, but because the takeaway is in Greenock you get stabbed on your way home. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 How long can you keep a Turkey in the freezer? The reason I ask is that I put mine in last night. And it's dead now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, before you know it you’re adding raisins and marshmallows – it’s a rocky road. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 My girlfriend said if I brought her one more stupid gift she would burn it. So I brought her a candle. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 Christmas, that time of year where getting anything out of the fridge is like a game of Jenga. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 15, 2021 If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges, my door’s always open. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 A man has been run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then another red lorry. Police say there's no easy way to tell his family. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 Which famous name, born on December 25th, is finished off by a cross ? Annie Lennox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 The council have said if we want our avenue to be electric we'll have to apply for an Eddy grant. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 All cats are actually left-handed. That's why you rarely see them using scissors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 My local chippy still wrap their fish and chips in old newspaper. I had a Plaice in the Sun yesterday. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 Remember the old days when we used to eat cake after someone blew all over it? Man, we were wild... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 15, 2021 Is it just me, or are there any other anagrams of em? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 My Boss; This is the third time you've been late this week. Do you know what that means ? Me; It's Wednesday ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 Stop Press !! Latest travel update. UK citizens can only visit countries who voted for them in the Eurovision Song Contest. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zyxel Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zyxel Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zyxel Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zyxel Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 (edited) Edited December 15, 2021 by Zyxel 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zyxel Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post xylophone Posted December 15, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 15, 2021 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 5 hours ago, Zyxel said: That d!ck seems to have his finger on the problem! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 6 hours ago, ballpoint said: How long can you keep a Turkey in the freezer? The reason I ask is that I put mine in last night. And it's dead now. Maybe it is just chilling and need the stuffing knocked out of it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 6 hours ago, ballpoint said: It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, before you know it you’re adding raisins and marshmallows – it’s a rocky road. But the snackle and crack provides a long way for pop to go! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 6 hours ago, ballpoint said: My girlfriend said if I brought her one more stupid gift she would burn it. So I brought her a candle. Do you now have an enlighted relationship or is your candle just blowing in the wind? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 6 hours ago, ballpoint said: If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges, my door’s always open. I'll try and swing bye tomorrow and see if I can put a handle on the problem! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 6 hours ago, ballpoint said: My local chippy still wrap their fish and chips in old newspaper. I had a Plaice in the Sun yesterday. Was it a tasty and titillating experience? Please reference "page3" in your response. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 (edited) 6 hours ago, ballpoint said: Remember the old days when we used to eat cake after someone blew all over it? Man, we were wild... I remember as I used to get all puffed out, snuff said! Edited December 15, 2021 by fangless 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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