Worst Joke Ever 2025

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[still kicking]

[roo860]

[Martin71]

[ravip]

A nice, calm and  respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some  cyanide."

 

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the  world do you need cyanide?"

 

The lady replied, "I need it to  poison my husband."

 

The  pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy!  I  can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the  law! I'll lose  my license!

 

They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will  happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

 

The lady reached into her purse and  pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's  wife. 

 

The pharmacist looked at the picture  and said "You didn't tell me you had a prescription!"

[chickenslegs]

I went into my local corner shop and asked for a bottle of brown sauce.

The shopkeeper said: How about HP?

So now I'm paying 5p a month on a 2-year plan.

[chickenslegs]

A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'
The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.

[chickenslegs]

More from Tommy Cooper

 

So I said to the doctor: 'People keep taking the Mickey out of me because I keep thinking I'm a cricket ball.'
The doctor said: 'How's that?'

I said: 'Don't you start!'

 

So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want?'

I said: 'I want to stay here'. 

She said: 'Well stay there' and shut the window.

 

Late one night I heard a knock at the door.

I leapt up, and I opened the door in my pyjamas.

It's a funny place to have a door I know'.

 

I went into a butchers and I said: 'I'll have a pound of sausages.'
He said: 'I'm very sorry, sir, we only serve kilos in here.'

'I said: 'Okay then I'll have a pound of kilos.'

[chickenslegs]

A man goes to the Psychiatrists and says, 'I think I'm becoming a kleptomaniac.'

The Psychiatrist says, 'Here take these tablets and if you're not better in a week ...

... bring me a 65 inch smart TV'.

[chickenslegs]

I went to the doctors. He said 'I'd like you to lie on the couch'.
I said 'What for?' 

He said 'I'd like to vacuum the floor'

[roo860]

[roo860]