ballpoint Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 Two women are looking at dresses through a shop window. “That’s the one I’d get” says one to the other, pointing at a dress. Sammy Davis Junior comes running out the store and slaps her.
ballpoint Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 I phoned the drugs helpline today and the automated message said ‘for information about cannabis press hash.. .’ 1
ballpoint Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 A bloke goes into the doctors and says ” Doc ..overnight I’ve got this growth on the end of my nose and I can’t explain it ” The doctor takes out a magnifying glass and upon inspection says ” Oh yeah ..its in miniature ..but there is a golden beach with clear blue water a mountain in the background with a cascading waterfall & clear blue skies ” The bloke says ..”Have you ever seen anything like this before ” Doctor “Yes and you have nothing to worry about ..its just a beauty spot “
DezLez Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 1 hour ago, ballpoint said: and as I looked at all this, I thought, 'I must put a roof on this lavatory'. Or do as god intended you to do in that place and not spout it forth from the mouth or keyboard! ????
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 I don’t know what all the fuss is about same sex marriage these days… Me and the wife have been having the same sex for years. 1
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 There’s a nudist convention in town next week. Might go along if I’ve got nothing on.
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 I, for one, really enjoy a roman numeral based pun. 1
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 I saw a man with a trolley full of horseshoes and rabbit’s feet earlier, trying to get it up a hill. I thought, he’s pushing his luck. 1
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point? 1
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 People say I’m condescending. (That means I talk down to people). 1
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 I remember the first time I used my Universal Remote Control; "amazing". I thought “this changes everything”
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 My grandfather drowned in a barrel of varnish. it was a horrible end, but a lovely finish. 1
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 Eskimo 1 “Whats for dinner?” Eskimo 2 “Vera Lynn Burgers” Eskimo 1 “Oh no. Not whale meat again” 1
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 Did you hear about the agoraphobic homosexual? He came out then went back in again.
ballpoint Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 My friend just broke up with her longtime boyfriend because she found out he was a communist. She should have known, there were red flags everywhere. 1 1
VocalNeal Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 18 minutes ago, ballpoint said: People say I’m condescending. (That means I talk down to people). Mansplaining again?
DezLez Posted April 18, 2022 Posted April 18, 2022 51 minutes ago, ballpoint said: I, for one, really enjoy a roman numeral based pun. Does that mean one can count on one to add to the conversation?
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