I like my women like I like my whiskey... 90 years old and kept in a barrel.
Only joking, - 18 years old and full of coke!

If one Domino's pizza shop collapses,
would the others then fall in succession?

This is a song for Mathematicians:
Get your kicks, on 8.12403840463596

I've just seen my mates new tattoo, his chest is covered in vertical and horizontal lines.
He's excelled himself this time.

April is mathematics awareness month.
Celebrate with a takeaway.

Can anyone help me with my Easter crossword puzzle?
2 across. "Where they nailed Jesus."

Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order.

The boss reckons I'm Dishlexic.

Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?

Now you mention Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?

One shoots, but cannot hit...

Just won a medal at the World Weather Forecasting Championships.

I beat the raining champion.