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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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6 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said:

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Don't use a basket!

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a fox?

A fox.

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Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him.
He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him an said, " Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come"...?
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat"...
The priest said, " Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat.
What changed your mind"...?
Murphy replied, " Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all".....
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh"...?
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat".....

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I was driving down the road this morning and saw my ex wife walking along.

It’s funny how “I’d hit that” changes meaning over the years.

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An old man is riding in a lift with two glamorous women. The blonde reaches into her purse, brings out a perfume bottle and sprays her neck and says Romance by Laurent, $300 an ounce.

The Brunette takes out her perfume, sprays her cleavage and says Chanel Number Five, $400 an ounce.

The lift stops at the 13th floor and as he gets out the old man lets go a rumbling fart. He turns and says Broccoli, $3 a pound...

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