I confused my Scottish GP today.

By telling him I had knee problems.

My wife told me she wanted to play a game of strip poker...
Turns out she just wanted to do the laundry.

I ended up folding.

A young woman is walking into a cathedral when a priest stops her and says, ”I’m sorry, Miss, you can’t come in without a bra.”

The young woman protests, ”But I have a divine right!”

The priest replies, ”A divine left, too, but you still can’t come in.”

Two priests in a car are stopped by the police.

The officer approaches the car and says to the driver, "Oh, I'm sorry for stopping you fathers, I didn't realise you were priests.  We're looking for two child molesters."

The priests look at each other, give a nod and say, "That's okay, officer, we'll do it."