An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering
what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.

“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied, “There are only three doors in here, “she cried,” one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says “Do Not Disturb”!!

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines eight years ago, you would have £49.00 today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance seven years ago, you would have £33.00 today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers eleven years ago, you would have nothing today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock nine years ago, you would have nothing today
But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco's, drunk all the beer, then taken the aluminum cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received £214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

 

Follow me for more investment advice.