I was given 4 E's and LSD last night...

What an awful start to a game of Scrabble!

I have some good news for my old maths teacher.

Now I drive a van delivering to Greggs in Hull, Grimsby and Bradford, proving that I can take pie to three dismal places.

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
 

My wife and I can never agree on holidays…

I want to fly to exotic places and stay in five-star hotels…

and she wants to come with me.

Confucius say… part-time bandleaders should be called 'semi-conductors'.

Confucius say… wise man buy prunes… get good run for money.

Confucius say… wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Confucius say… just one letter makes all the difference between here and there.

Confucius say… man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Confucius say… man who kisses girl's behind, get a crack in the face.

Very funny!

 

It just proves the point Facebook

I  think the birds who built a nest outside my bathroom window are trying to tell me something...

Mary Poppins......

 

https://www.facebook.com/reel/823707626949010

 

And the award for best thought out restaurant bathroom goes to...