Only two people survived the sinking of the luxury liner and separately they managed to make it to a desert island.

The man who had been travelling economy class couldn't believe that his companion was none other than one of Hollywood's most famous starlets.

At first they remained on platonic terms but as the weeks passed natural desires took over until one night they tore each other's clothes off and did what comes naturally.

The next day he turned to her and asked whether she would mind doing him a favour.

Would she dress up in some of his clothes? He had a pair of trousers and a shirt.

Puzzled, she agreed and when they met up later he patted her on the back and boasted,

"Hello, mate, you'll never guess who I seduced last night!"
 

"What are those marks on your knees?" one bloke asks another.

"Oh, that's from making love doggie style," he replies.

"It looks painful to me, don't you know any other way?"

"Oh, yes, I do, but my dog doesn't."
 

 

Mrs Primly is walking down the village street when she sees young Emily pulling a cow by a rope.

"Goodness me!" she exclaims. "What on earth are you doing with that?"

"I'm taking it to the bull," she replies.

"The bull! What a thing to ask a young girl, can't your dad do it?"

"Oh no," replies the girl, "it has to be the bull."
 

"Mummy, do babies come out of the same place that boys put their smelly thingy into?"

"Yes! That's right dear."

"So when I am older and going to have a baby delivered how long before will I need to get my real teeth removed and my false teeth fitted?"
 

I feel for that squirrel....

My Mum's sister keeps taking the law into her own hands during periods of praying at night by candlelight ...

She's a vigil-auntie.

On 2/21/2021 at 9:29 AM, sanuk711 said:

Yes me also-- the one I didn't expect most people to get was

https://forum.thaivisa.com/topic/1071616-worst-joke-ever-2019/page/902/#comments

 

---but some did...........

 

That was a Private Eye  joke ,you need a good sense of humour  to get some of their  jokes

On 3/8/2021 at 3:28 PM, Pilotman said:

still not funny

Did you read the title of the topic? ????

Wife: As it’s your birthday I’ve decided to role play your most desired fantasy. Tell me now and I’ll do it.

Me: Wow, okay, stick duct tape over your mouth …

Wife: Mmm, sounds kinky, whats next?

Me: Nothing next, that’s it.

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The policeman said, "What's he like?"
Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"

.