An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist” 
Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." 
"But you are not wearing any of those things" replied the artist. 
"I know," she said.

"It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the non existent jewellery." 
 

 Father: Son, what do you want for your 18th birthday? 
 Son: Not much, Dad. Just a radio with a sports car around it. 
 

Common sense Is like deodorant.
The people who need it most never use it.
 

A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. 
During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one a wish. 
The wife wanted to travel around the world. 
The fairy waved her wand and poof -- the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. 
Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. 
He said, "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." 
So the fairy picked up her wand and poof -- the husband was now 90. 

 

 

Chat-up Line:-  • Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room? 
 

27 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said:

Well it should be easy for them as they have had some practice!

 

Think about it...