After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to counseling.
The wife poured out every complaint - neglect, loneliness, feeling unloved, you name it.

Finally, the therapist (a man) got up, asked her to stand, and kissed her passionately… right in front of her husband. The wife, stunned, sat down quietly in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you manage that?”

The husband replied:

“Well, I can drop her off on Mondays and Wednesdays… but on Fridays, I play golf!”

Too late...

 

While cutting hair, the Barber asked the Minister :-
"Sir, What is this Swiss Bank issue ?”

 

Minister shouted, 
“Are you cutting my hair or conducting an inquiry ?”

 

Barber said: 
Sorry Sir, I just asked.

 

Next day, while cutting the hair, he asked the Senior Minister:

“Sir, what is this Black money issue ?’’

 

Minister shouted-
‘’Why did you ask me this question ?’’

 

Barber said: 
‘’Sorry Sir, I just simply asked you’’

 

Next day, the CBI interrogated the Barber

CBI Officer - 
‘’Are you an agent of Pakistan ?’’

 

Barber: No Sir.

C

BI: Are you an Agent of any opposition party ?

Barber: No Sir.

 

CBI: Are you anti-National ?

Barber:  For God's sake, No Sir. I am just an innocent and a simple Barber.
                                             
CBI  : Then, while cutting the hair, why did you ask these VIP's about Swiss Bank & Black money issues ?

 

Barber:
Sir, I do not know why, but whenever I ask them about Swiss Bank or Black money, their hairs stand up straight; & that helps me to cut the hair easily. That’s why I keep asking.

Husband: "I want a divorce, my wife hasn't spoken to me in six months!"
Lawyer: "You may want to rethink that... wives like that are hard to find!"
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The Angel of Death said, "I've come for you." 
The man replied, "Why? I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm healthy!" 
The angel said, "You left your phone at home without locking it, and your wife found it."
Man: "Alright then... let's go.'