Been working for me so far...

Pinocchio has gained a reputation as quite the successful stud. But one of his girlfriends complains to him crossly "I can’t go on like this. Every time we make love I get splinters."

So Pinocchio goes to Geppetto to ask his advice. Geppetto says, "Try this #40 sandpaper, my boy - that's all you need. She’ll never complain again."

A few days later Geppetto runs into Pinocchio and asks him "So how are you doing with the girls now?"

Pinocchio screams insanely "Girls?? Who needs girls?"

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

I though Rugby was the only sport which had touch judges?

I was in Walmart using the restroom when, just as I closed the stall door, a voice from the next stall said:

“Hey! How’s it going over there?”

Embarrassed, I replied, “Not bad, thanks.”

The voice asked, “Cool. What are you up to?”

I said, “Umm… just trying to take care of a little private business over here.”

Then the voice asked, “Alright. Can I come over?”

Shocked, I replied, “Excuse me?!”

Then I heard, “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. Some idiot in the next stall keeps answering all my questions.”

I stayed in the stall until he left.

I told my teenage son that when I was his age, I used to get 10 CDs in the mail for a penny.

I don't know if he thought I was lying about what a CD was, what a penny was, what the mail was, or all of the above.

In the same way this supposed to be funny: