How to fail miserably in Thailand

[NoshowJones]

On 1/26/2019 at 5:24 PM, grollies said:

Nope, think you just about covered it. Apart from the obvious comment on Thai driving skills....

I think it is more a sad lack of common sense rather than driving skills, it is nothing to do with driving skills using the wrong side of the road, always running red lights, riding on pavements, or giving the keys of the motorbike to your underage children.

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, Spidey said:

I too have family members that are ladyboys and close friends. Took one to the passport office, yesterday, to help her get a passport. I have had the same conversations with them. The one that I was with yesterday is 19.

 

I can categorically say that you are talking out of your backside, yet again. Only a very small percentage of Thai men would entertain a ladyboy. The majority of ladyboys have had multiple partners but only a few have had sex with a Thai man.

 

As you don't seem able to spell Marcus Aurelius, maybe you should consider changing your forum name to Jackanory.

Just wanted to make sure I understood you.  You asked your ladyboy relative how many straight Thai boys she had sex with in school? And she told you how many?

[grollies]

9 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

I think it is more a sad lack of common sense rather than driving skills, it is nothing to do with driving skills using the wrong side of the road, always running red lights, riding on pavements, or giving the keys of the motorbike to your underage children.

Wrong side of the road - done that.

 

Run red light - done that

 

Riding on pavements - ok, no

 

Giving motocy keys to underage kids, yeah, done that.

 

Doesn't make me Thai though.

[NoshowJones]

5 minutes ago, grollies said:

Wrong side of the road - done that.

 

Run red light - done that

 

Riding on pavements - ok, no

 

Giving motocy keys to underage kids, yeah, done that.

 

Doesn't make me Thai though.

and you are proud of that are you? Maybe you are just trolling, or you come from a country with about the same IQ as Thailand.

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, Spidey said:

I too have family members that are ladyboys and close friends. Took one to the passport office, yesterday, to help her get a passport. I have had the same conversations with them. The one that I was with yesterday is 19.

 

I can categorically say that you are talking out of your backside, yet again. Only a very small percentage of Thai men would entertain a ladyboy. The majority of ladyboys have had multiple partners but only a few have had sex with a Thai man.

 

As you don't seem able to spell Marcus Aurelius, maybe you should consider changing your forum name to Jackanory.

“Same-gender sexual experience does not necessarily carry the assumption of homosexuality or a homosexual identity in Thailand.   In the 1992 conscripts from northern Thailand, 14 percent reported having had at least one instance of insertive anal sex with a kathoey in their lifetimes.

 

That was a while ago and probably understated given the topic.  I think it is reasonable to assume about 20% of Thai men have had sex with a ladyboy.  Based on my experience and the surveys I read.

http://factsanddetails.com/southeast-asia/Thailand/sub5_8d/entry-3248.html

 

Mocking  ladyboys to Thai men in Thailand is a good way to fail because you never know if the Thai male you are with likes them or not and the odds are higher of that being the case than in the West. 

 

 

Edited January 27, 2019 by marcusarelus

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, Rc2702 said:

Yh I guess your very good at multitasking I mean 3052 posts in 7 months on here 2 hours a day on the blue-LB site all adds up. The circus of characters on this site never ceases to amaze me and I hope does not fool others either.

I am good at multitasking.  I can carry on 4 conversations at the same time with no trouble at all.  I have four screens and 4 computers on as soon as I get up in the morning (automatic).  Add to this 3 high def smart phones and headsets with multiple connection features and I am a real whirlwind of information tech. 

 

Thailand has changed a lot in the last 10 years.  What used to take place in bars now takes place online.  There are websites for every proclivity.  The modern punter has to be a computer wiz to have the same level of entertainment that was available to the non tech people 10 years ago.  

 

I also never flame people.  I try and comment on what they say as opposed to how I feel about them personally. 

Edited January 27, 2019 by marcusarelus

[RocketDog]

6 hours ago, SammyT said:

I think the biggest irony I see in expats in Thailand who often end up failing are the ones who are super racist about their own countries - i.e. the ones who share Tommy Robinson crap on their facebook pages, complain about immigrants coming to their countries etc, while ignoring the fact that they are effectively an immigrant in someone else's country. They generally then tend to treat the Thais like crap and as if they should be subservient to them (their wives and girlfriends included) and then they can't work out why their wife just left them and took the house they built and put in her name with her when she went. 

 

I don't know where I sit on the success/failure spectrum over here, but I just try to treat Thais as I'd wish to be treated myself and I don't see myself as better or worse than the average Thai. Save for a couple of taxi driver experiences, I've had zero issues and love my life in Thailand. It's certainly not rocket science anyway

Well........ as somebody else pointed out, it really is kinda like a different planet here, so somewhat akin to rocket science. 

 

I've not been everywhere on earth, but I've traveled some, and living here I am constantly amazed, horrified, mortified, bumfuzzeled, confused, amused, bemused, shocked, rocked, stumped, puzzled, gobsmacked, angered, pleased, impressed, depressed, sympathetic, thankful, insulted, aggravated, embarrassed, distraught, excited, terrified, and sometimes even thankful for what I see and experience in Thailand. 

 

Just when I thought I was old enough to know that people are pretty much the same everywhere, I come to LOS and just have to believe I really am on a different planet after all. 

 

Thankfully I am well past the arrogance of ever believing I will get a solid handle on it. Maybe that's part of the charm(?). I'm really not sure sometimes why I stay. 

 

If I ever find a good reason to leave I might just do it. Until then.......... 

[AlexRich]

10 hours ago, Blue Muton said:

I'm not with you on that at all, "we" are in "their" country and should learn when and when not to wai. It's not the case that Thai's don't "change their culture" overseas, I have witnessed this when my wife and I lived in the UK, she and her friends didn't go around Waiing people, nor did they, for example address people as "phi", "khun" etc.

The wai is not part of our culture, it’s for Thais, not for westerners, who on the whole look ridiculous imitating a foreign culture. There is simply no need to do so and no expectation that you should. You can behave in a friendly and respectful manner in Thailand without succumbing to imitation.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, grollies said:

Don't panic, you don't have to be Australian to be considered an alien, if you're not an American citizen you are automatically an alien.

 

To us Brits however you are just a convict or POM (Prisoner of Her Majesty). Why DO you call US pommie bastards?

I'm not panicking, I find it amusing.

 

The term pommie originated when fair-skinned Brits stayed out in the Australian sun too long. They turned bright red like a pomegranate, contracted for convenience to Pommie.

Bastard has a number of connotations, depending on the adjectives used with it. " How are you, you old bastard" is used affectionately. On the other hand, "you young bastard" means the recipient is treading on thin ice. Pommie bastard is a fairly neutral term: however, if Pommie or Pommie bastard is used with the adjective whinging, interpret it as a suggestion one should decamp back to the salubrious climate of England.

Americans, otherwise known as Yanks, are occasionally referred to as septic tanks. Our argot is quite inventive.

[marcusarelus]

1 minute ago, AlexRich said:

The wai is not part of our culture, it’s for Thais, not for westerners, who on the whole look ridiculous imitating a foreign culture. There is simply no need to do so and no expectation that you should. You can behave in a friendly and respectful manner in Thailand without succumbing to imitation.

So why did two of the most powerful people in the world Obama and Hillary lake the time to learn how to Wai?  The mistake you are making which will guarantee failure is thinking you are still at home.  It might look ridiculous to you but it is appreciated by Thais.  How many world class entertainers wai on stage?  Rod Stewart?  Did the Eagles wai when they performed in Bangkok? Did Rod and the Eagles feel ridiculous? 

 

[HuskerDo]

3 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

First I read about it in a study about Thailand.  I looked for it but can't find it.  Second I talk about sex a lot with Thai guys on a forum called bluexxx.  My cardio doctor told me to stay active and I do every day.  On an average I talk to Thai people about sex for 2 hours a day mixed with sharing and meetings.  No cost.  It's all free.  There are girl sites and boy sites and ladyboy sites.  Some of the most visited websites in Thailand. 

 

I wouldn't ask straight men about it because they'd lie - macho thing.  The only good information would come from ladyboys who have nothing to lose admitting sex with straight men. 

 

You might ask on the gay forum here.  I doubt there is a gay guy there who has not had an encounter with at least 20 straight men.  You figure the odds.????

Creepy.... very creepy.

[HuskerDo]

57 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I am good at multitasking.  I can carry on 4 conversations at the same time with no trouble at all.  I have four screens and 4 computers on as soon as I get up in the morning (automatic).  Add to this 3 high def smart phones and headsets with multiple connection features and I am a real whirlwind of information tech. 

 

Thailand has changed a lot in the last 10 years.  What used to take place in bars now takes place online.  There are websites for every proclivity.  The modern punter has to be a computer wiz to have the same level of entertainment that was available to the non tech people 10 years ago.  

 

I also never flame people.  I try and comment on what they say as opposed to how I feel about them personally. 

Ever thought about shutting the computers down and going outside and actually engaging people? It's a beautiful world out there.

[jak2002003]

16 minutes ago, HuskerDo said:

Ever thought about shutting the computers down and going outside and actually engaging people? It's a beautiful world out there.

While a agree with you sentiment... and am shocked by the posters sad life sitting behind multiple computer screen in a virtual world, I am afraid to say you might be disappointed with your idea about engaging with people outside.

 

From what I see most people are glued to their smart phones posting stuff on social media, taking selfies, and photos of their dinner or a cup of coffee.

 

I am glad I grew up when there were no smart phones about.  I have been to restaurants where every single person had their faced buried in their phones and no one was talking.  I have been to beautiful natural wonders, landscapes, and such like, to see people taking selfies in front of them... more interested in their own face than a stunning landscape, waterfall or wildlife.

 

 

Edited January 27, 2019 by jak2002003

[marcusarelus]

21 minutes ago, HuskerDo said:

Ever thought about shutting the computers down and going outside and actually engaging people? It's a beautiful world out there.

I use the computes to make appointments to meet people.  And go out and meet them.  I use the computers to find out where to get things I need.  And go out and get them.  It is a far more efficient use of my time than wandering aimlessly about hoping something exciting will happen or window shopping to find items that I need. 

 

I probably see many more people than most but it is in an orderly manner and they are people I want to see and know something about. 

 

Average day I make 3 dates for one reason or another. 

[HuskerDo]

45 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

While a agree with you sentiment... and am shocked by the posters sad life sitting behind multiple computer screen in a virtual world, I am afraid to say you might be disappointed with your idea about engaging with people outside.

 

From what I see most people are glued to their smart phones posting stuff on social media, taking selfies, and photos of their dinner or a cup of coffee.

 

I am glad I grew up when there were no smart phones about.  I have been to restaurants where every single person had their faced buried in their phones and no one was talking.  I have been to beautiful natural wonders, landscapes, and such like, to see people taking selfies in front of them... more interested in their own face than a stunning landscape, waterfall or wildlife.

 

 

You nailed it Jak. Every single thing you said is true. I just think going outside and engaging people will at least give the person a chance to have some interaction with another human being face to face rather than face to computer screen.

 

I once worked for a great guy and then ran into him several years later. What he said I found incredibly sad. He was telling me of all the "friends" he now has on Facebook (he had just joined a few weeks before). I asked him if he actually knew any of them. He said there were 3 or 4 from his hometown but the others were folks he "met" on Facebook. I was sad for him that he considered so many total strangers friends. That's the world we live in. 

Edited January 27, 2019 by HuskerDo

[marcusarelus]

12 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

While a agree with you sentiment... and am shocked by the posters sad life sitting behind multiple computer screen in a virtual world, I am afraid to say you might be disappointed with your idea about engaging with people outside.

 

From what I see most people are glued to their smart phones posting stuff on social media, taking selfies, and photos of their dinner or a cup of coffee.

 

I am glad I grew up when there were no smart phones about.  I have been to restaurants where every single person had their faced buried in their phones and no one was talking.  I have been to beautiful natural wonders, landscapes, and such like, to see people taking selfies in front of them... more interested in their own face than a stunning landscape, waterfall or wildlife.

I got online in 1979.  Before that I was internationally connected by a TWX machine and before that by a short wave radio. 

 

Now?  https://www.theverge.com/2018/1/9/16869174/vuzix-blade-ar-glasses-augmented-reality-amazon-alexa-ai-ces-2018

 

I guess you won't know I'm connected when I am.  Have you ever wondered what you are missing and why they do what they do?  Or you completely convinced you are right? 

[HuskerDo]

9 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I use the computes to make appointments to meet people.  And go out and meet them.  I use the computers to find out where to get things I need.  And go out and get them.  It is a far more efficient use of my time than wandering aimlessly about hoping something exciting will happen or window shopping to find items that I need. 

 

I probably see many more people than most but it is in an orderly manner and they are people I want to see and know something about. 

 

Average day I make 3 dates for one reason or another. 

Most people need just one screen and one computer for that. 

[HAKAPALITA]

Avoid anyone under 85.

[marcusarelus]

4 minutes ago, HuskerDo said:

You nailed it Jak. Every single thing you said is true. I just think going outside and engaging people will at least give the person a chance to have some interaction with another human being face to face rather than face to computer screen.

 

I once worked for a great guy and then ran into him several years later. What he said I found incredibly sad. He was telling me of all the "friends" he now has on Facebook (he had just joined a few weeks before). I asked him if he actually knew any of them. He said there were 3 or 4 from his hometown but the others were folks he "met" on Facebook. I was sad for him that he considered total strangers friends. That's the world we live in. Sad. 

My daughters both send me videos of the kids via facebook every morning.  I keep track of my old roommates from college and best friends in grade school and army buddies.  Two have come to visit me in Thailand.  I found a long lost family that I never knew I had as a result of DNA sharing on line.  One of the ladies is a movie star (minor star).  My Thai friends post photos of the new restaurants they are visiting and work related stuff they know I'll find interesting.  I have never met anyone from facebook.  Many people from my past have found me and it's nice to hear how they are doing.  Sad that everyone does not have a way to keep in touch to people and places that are or were important to them. 

[marcusarelus]

14 minutes ago, HuskerDo said:

Most people need just one screen and one computer for that. 

I'm not most people. 

 

I have a wide screen monitor that splits into 4 screens for work and you can move things from one screen to the other or watch one screen for wide screen movies and a laptop and a computer and smart tv hooked to a 65 inch screen.  They each do different things.  I keep 3 apps going on the smart phones and talk while I work and write and make plans for the day.  I also have connections in the kitchen so I can look at recipes and make videos while I cook. 

 

I do work in the communication industry as do two of my children.  No Oscars yet but they are working on it. 

 

I realize you were just trying to flame and belittle me but I hope you may have learned something from my response. 

 

I can watch a movie in 7.1 surround and answer a video phone call at the same time and the person on the phone will never see or hear my movie or even see my headset or microphone.  Seamlessly the movie pauses and the phone announces the caller and I push my ear and answer.  

[MyFriend You]

On 1/26/2019 at 10:07 PM, marcusarelus said:

It's what a gentleman does.  You don't wai service people and most of the time only return wai's except if the person is older than you or more important than you.  I wai my doctor who saved my live by prompt action.  You should wai monks be they older or younger.  Of course this thread is about how to fail miserably in Thailand and if you want to do that you don't wai anyone.  You will be rewarded with failure and dislike. 

At least he is doing it correctly, not like the graffiti artist that was holding his hands down around his waistline in an "apology"  In this photo if I am not mistaken, he is Wai'ing in front of a Buddhist Temple.  

[MyFriend You]

5 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I'm not most people. 

 

I have a wide screen monitor that splits into 4 screens for work and you can move things from one screen to the other or watch one screen for wide screen movies and a laptop and a computer and smart tv hooked to a 65 inch screen.  They each do different things.  I keep 3 apps going on the smart phones and talk while I work and write and make plans for the day.  I also have connections in the kitchen so I can look at recipes and make videos while I cook. 

 

I do work in the communication industry as do two of my children.  No Oscars yet but they are working on it. 

 

I realize you were just trying to flame and belittle me but I hope you may have learned something from my response. 

 

I can watch a movie in 7.1 surround and answer a video phone call at the same time and the person on the phone will never see or hear my movie or even see my headset or microphone.  Seamlessly the movie pauses and the phone announces the caller and I push my ear and answer.  

Can I come to your house??  All my stuff was burned up in a storage locker facility in Honolulu.  I miss it all.  Only thing saved was my Marrantz 4200 4 channel amp/pre amp and 4 Bose 901 Series VI loudspeaker's, minus the spatial receivers.  Most I have had is 5.1 -  You Rock.  Hope you like The Blues.  C Ya Soon.   

[HuskerDo]

32 minutes ago, HuskerDo said:

You nailed it Jak. Every single thing you said is true. I just think going outside and engaging people will at least give the person a chance to have some interaction with another human being face to face rather than face to computer screen.

 

I once worked for a great guy and then ran into him several years later. What he said I found incredibly sad. He was telling me of all the "friends" he now has on Facebook (he had just joined a few weeks before). I asked him if he actually knew any of them. He said there were 3 or 4 from his hometown but the others were folks he met on Facebook. I was sad for him that he considered so many total strangers friends. That's the world we live in.  

I should have qualified my statements above about all the "friends" he met on Facebook. There is nothing wrong with Facebook or any other venue to meet people. What I left out is that he basically ignored his wife and kids once he got on Facebook and met all these people. He considered his Facebook friends more important than his family and within a year he lost them (divorce). He then took it further when he was arrested for walking into someone's house 80 miles from where he lived as that's the address a female "friend" gave him on Facebook. This was after he knocked on several other doors in the neighborhood looking for his "friend". Bizarre story.   

[Tanlic]

I here you.......I'm going to bed with my girlfriend stuff this social media rubbish???? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[AlexRich]

3 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

So why did two of the most powerful people in the world Obama and Hillary lake the time to learn how to Wai?  The mistake you are making which will guarantee failure is thinking you are still at home.  It might look ridiculous to you but it is appreciated by Thais.  How many world class entertainers wai on stage?  Rod Stewart?  Did the Eagles wai when they performed in Bangkok? Did Rod and the Eagles feel ridiculous? 

 

No Thai cares whether they do or do not ... it’s simply unnecessary.

[smotherb]

You could just come to Thailand for the bar girls and beer; and never learn the language or make a Thai friend. That seems to be the norm for many expats.    

[Lacessit]

6 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

I use the computes to make appointments to meet people.  And go out and meet them.  I use the computers to find out where to get things I need.  And go out and get them.  It is a far more efficient use of my time than wandering aimlessly about hoping something exciting will happen or window shopping to find items that I need. 

 

I probably see many more people than most but it is in an orderly manner and they are people I want to see and know something about. 

 

Average day I make 3 dates for one reason or another. 

Sounds to me like you have OCD traits. Not a criticism, just an observation.

[SuperTed]

Are you in a position to know?  Do you have frank discussions about sex with many Thai ladyboys? 
 
A close relative by marriage of mine just got married and at the pre marriage party we discussed many things and the subject of first sex came up and the above was discussed at length. 
 
Don't believe me.  Ask any of the ladyboys that you are close enough to have detailed discussion about sex with.  But don't disbelieve me if you have no rational alternative to offer. 

Or, if you want to "fail miserably in Thailand," the next time you meet a Thai man, ask him if he has had sex with a ladyboy.

Coppers are a friendly lot here, always smiling. And they dress so sharp, can't help but thinking they look a little gay. Maybe start by asking the next cop who pulls you over? "Officer - have you slept with a ladyboy? Do you feel that makes you a homosexual?" Would appreciate if TV members could post the results of those conversations.

This is a great thread with great advice. And there are many societies where boys start their sex lives with boys - strict Muslim nations and the UK public school set come to mind.

But TH is not like that. Chula published research claiming 95% of TH men had sex with a prostitute before age 25 (!!!!!). The local brothels are where many TH men go for their early sexual experiences.

[SuperTed]

I am good at multitasking.  I can carry on 4 conversations at the same time with no trouble at all.  I have four screens and 4 computers on as soon as I get up in the morning (automatic).  Add to this 3 high def smart phones and headsets with multiple connection features and I am a real whirlwind of information tech. 
 
Thailand has changed a lot in the last 10 years.  What used to take place in bars now takes place online.  There are websites for every proclivity.  The modern punter has to be a computer wiz to have the same level of entertainment that was available to the non tech people 10 years ago.  
 
I also never flame people.  I try and comment on what they say as opposed to how I feel about them personally. 

+1 to OP for living his best life and not being afraid to share about it. That is one thing I like about TH - people accept and respect you living your life.

I must say, though, OP your lady has to be unusually open-minded. I have had two serious Thai relationships - deleting dating app accounts and removing screenlock was a milestone for both. Being on sex chat forums with seven devices. . . Hmmm

[SuperTed]

@spideymike007 gave more great advice. But I have to strongly disagree with this one piece "And drive like a grandmother."

Don't drive like your grandmother in TH!

On your motorike, find a TH grandmother and trail a few feet behind her - sure.

But driving like a grandmother - stopping when others are going, driving slower than others, making unexpected moves, not signaling - all will cause accidents.

All the other driving advice is spot on - it is war on the streets - but you survive that war by going with the flow, being one small guppy in a big school of fish, not by blazing your own trail.