Contested divorce

[DeaconJohn]

  On 2/17/2019 at 4:20 AM, Sheryl said:

Maybe start by having her see a GYN specializing in menopause for hormone replacement therapy. Hormonal changes are almost surely involved when this sirt of oersonality change occurs at that age.

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Thanks for your response.

I have the full support of my immediate and extended family. The consensus being that some sort of professional help is needed. But only with her cooperation and consent. 

Your suggestion that the problem may be hormonal imbalance is plausible and probably should be looked at first by a qualified doctor. Following that, a full neurological evaluation. That would be the ideal way to go, but my wife has refused to do it.  Even during periods - which is most of the time - when she is "normal" it is a subject that she doesn't want to talk about.

I don't expect any kind of treatment is going to turn her into the laughing girl that I married 36 years ago, but I am hoping that her condition, age-related irritability or whatever it is, will stabilize to the point where I'm no longer subjected to verbal abuse and threats of divorce.

[Sheryl]

There is a Menopause Clinic at Maharaj Nakorn  Hospital in CM.

 

Or try Prof. Intira Sriprasert (female) at Sripat.

 

She may find menopause treatment more acceptable than pysch or neuro (and it might just remove the need for the latter).

 

 

[bkk6060]

Sorry to be blunt but four houses, 2 cars, and a farm and you complain you will not be able to afford to live here?

I have read so many of these type reports since the new rules and am totally unsympathetic. 

 

Also, my mother treated my father similar at the end of their marriage.  But, it turned out she simply hated his guts so much it made her act crazy. After the split, she was fine.

 

It is all going to end the way she wants it to anyway.

I would give her the divorce and take your part of the assests and move on.  Unless you want to remain miserable and afraid until you die.

Then , hire a Myanmar lady to take care of you for practically nothing.

[Hanaguma]

What a terrible situation, my sympathy to you.

 

Now, first of all, your wife's health troubles. If your spouse is anything like many, she does NOT want her man involved in her affairs, especially in relation to any "lady troubles". I would say that perhaps one of your daughters could approach her about it, girl to girl, and make some gentle suggestions.  Perhaps mention an article she read in a magazine about how to enjoy senior life, a tv show that spoke of a new treatment for depression, etc. Maybe it is a bit of BS, but it is a more positive kind of approach. No woman wants her husband to say, "you're acting crazy lately, get your ass to a shrink this afternoon". 

 

About assets and inheritance: to be realistic, your kids probably don't want your assets in their current form. They have their own lives, property, etc.  I imagine they would appreciate cash assets over property and rentals. So, liquidating to get your share of the pie won't affect them in the least. To the contrary, they'll appreciate it!  

 

Best of luck with everything.

[xtrnuno41]

  On 2/17/2019 at 12:03 PM, DeaconJohn said:

I'm 74, my wife is 62. 

 

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AH ok thats more explainable, as many thought you had a super young wife, so did i. and it puzzled me

As i also said no menopause, but now it is a possibility. Normally would be from 47-57, but depends on woman personally.

Guess when menopause is over then, it changed the person to what the person is today. It has taken over the older person.

ANother possibility is a TIA. Brain infarct, my mom had one and noticed it on headlights from upcoming cars, the cars were driving with just one light. THen checked with doctor and he diagnosed she had a TIA.

However there are also cases where people, married for 50 years even divorce. ALso the menopause? It is amazing though. 

[sirocco]

Let's see, let's see, we only have one sound of the bell,
that of the gentleman who complains of his future divorce and the execrable character of his wife.
Instead of lamenting your fate, taking witnesses to forum members, being an assisted, assume, grow up.
Maybe you have andropause problems?
It happens at any age, for a man.
Thinking!
Have a good day.

[myshem]

  On 2/11/2019 at 5:31 AM, Sheryl said:

A few observations:

 

1. What on earth to you have to gain by refusing a divorce if your wife really wants one? You need her active cooperation to get extension of stay based on marriage. Just still being legally married won't do the trick. Especially if she moves out, which you have no way of preventing.

 

2. It is very likely that at least part of your wife's problems are due to menopause and that hormone replacement therapy would help. Try to persuade her to see a doctor specializing in menopause (if you indicate where you live I'll suggest one). If she does nto listen to you perhaps ask your daughter to try.

 

3. Assets are a problem given that they are all in your wife's name. If they were acquired after marriage you would be entitled upon divorce to 50% of their value and this might be a way to resolve your visa dilemma. Make clear to your wife that you know your rights and want 50% of the value of the property in exchange for agreeing to divorce (if she remains adament that she wants to). This would of course require selling at least some of it in order to get the cash.

 

4. As for your dependency on your wife, from the sounds of it a simple housekeeper could do the same things for you. Even a part-time one. Shouldn't cost that much and especially if you receive a cash settlement on the divorce, you could afford it (remember though to put aside 800K in a bank account and leave it there for visa purposes).

 

 

It doesn't sound like much of a marriage, to be honest, and one  can understand her desire to get out. It also sounds like you wouldn't miss her if you could sort out the visa aspect and your practical assistance needs.

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he doesn't need to divorce if he doesn't want and he doesn't need her because he doesn't need an extension, he can just go out every 3 months and come back.

no way that any she would be allowed to do what she wants. She was happy to enjoy my money for so many years, so my turn now to use her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TooPoopedToPop]

Interesting thread.

You've gotten a lot of advice - some of it intelligent and helpful, some of it inane.

Typical of ThaiVisa members who now seem to represent the total spectrum of expat society here. The whole banquet of humanity, everything from fruit to nuts.

So you're about to lose your duk-a-dah... man-up and let her go if that's what she really wants to do.  More likely, the threat of a divorce is just a stick to beat you with. If so, stand your ground.

Thais take care of their own - and that would include a farang who has lived among them as a husband and father for many years. If your relations with your grown children and the rest of the family are as good as you say they are, you have nothing to worry about. They'll take care of you one way or the other.

The visa extension based on marriage is something to be concerned about in the event of a divorce.  However, if BritManToo is correct in stating that a dependent visa is possible in your case, then you're home free.

Good luck with whatever goes down.

[myshem]

Why nobody here is smart enough to reply you that she won't divorce is she doesn't want ? She had a life thanks to you, and she owns you everything ! So do not divorce if you do not want, or make her life so difficult that she will prefer to leave without divorce ! Women of the thread like it or not, it's the only way it should be if you are a man !