People and social media

[JAFO]

Deep topic I know but over the last few years what has really become a huge red flag to me is how people behave.  It has become glaringly obvious that a vast number of people aren't really personally happy however they post on social media in an attempt to convince others they are.

 

Posting on Facebook, Instagram Twitter and other sites showing pics to others saying "Look at me" in hopes others respond with "I'm jealous" or "Your so lucky" etc etc. The fact of the matter is those folks aren't really happy at all. It's all a facade.  

 

It's really become a weird world.

[faraday]

Yup

[marcusarelus]

I use it to talk to my grandchildren for free and messenger is my favorite app for SMS messages.  It also updates me on the Veterans administration and the US Embassy changes.   It is simply a free video phone call service.  I wonder how people only use voice for calling it's so stone age. 

 

A lot of old fogies haven't figured out how to use it so I can see why they are afraid of it.  Just like when the car was invented and people said it would scare the horses.

Edited March 9, 2019 by marcusarelus

[Katia]

It has nothing to do with social media.  People have always done this, tried to make themselves look better than they are or happier than they are.  Social media just makes it easier and more visible.  But we lie every day-- we tell people about the great workout we did today but not that we dropped dinner on the floor; we tell them we got a good review at work last week but not about the chewing out we got from our boss today; we post the picture with the good lighting in the outfit that makes us look great but not the one where someone surprised us and we have a weird look on our face; someone asks how we are and even if we're having the absolute worst day of our lives and feel awful we wipe away the tears before we turn around and say "Oh, I'm fine/great!" while hoping our voices aren't shaking.

 

People want others to think well of them, whether it's thinking they're a good person or good at something, or thinking they have a good life, and people don't want to admit weakness to others that could be used against them.  Once other people start playing this game, you feel the pressure too or you're going to look bad in comparison.  Then, there's also the fact that people don't want to hear about other people's problems/unhappinesses/weaknesses, so everyone hides those things for that reason, too.

[villagefarang]

I don’t doubt there are some posers on social media but they don't really bother me, besides I really enjoy seeing what my friends and my wife’s friends are up to.  Some travel a lot, others do some really interesting things and some have a very creative photographic style.  None of them live next-door so without social media we would be completely out of the loop.  My digitally challenged relatives have pretty much disappeared from our lives and we have no clue what they are up to and often don’t even hear about deaths until many months later.

 

How others use social media is up to them as far as I am concerned.  I use social media the way I wish and allow others to do the same.  I don't understand why people get so upset about what other people they don't even know do.  If you want to talk, fine.  If you want to text, fine.  Why the need to be so controlling and authoritarian?

Edited March 9, 2019 by villagefarang

[Thaiwrath]

I find it bizarre when you walk into a busy restaurant, with many couples dining out, and there is hardly a word being spoken, as everyone is so engrossed in their mobile phones !

So many young people today cannot survive without their social media, and wonder how us older people survived without it. Easy, we had proper conversation, and every 'friend' we had, we had met in person.  

[BritManToo]

Social media is great, it means I don't have to go out and physically meet people any more.

And when I tire of them, I can just switch them off.

Edited March 9, 2019 by BritManToo

[Nyezhov]

23 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Social media is great, it means I don't have to go out and physically meet people any more.

And when I tire of them, I can just switch them off.

Exactly. Its like a party you can leave whenever you want. Or get tossed off for thoughtcrime

[BritManToo]

42 minutes ago, Katia said:

It has nothing to do with social media.  People have always done this, tried to make themselves look better than they are or happier than they are.  Social media just makes it easier and more visible.  But we lie every day-- we tell people about the great workout we did today but not that we dropped dinner on the floor; we tell them we got a good review at work last week but not about the chewing out we got from our boss today; we post the picture with the good lighting in the outfit that makes us look great but not the one where someone surprised us and we have a weird look on our face; someone asks how we are and even if we're having the absolute worst day of our lives and feel awful we wipe away the tears before we turn around and say "Oh, I'm fine/great!" while hoping our voices aren't shaking.

Most men don't do any of that stuff, I haven't told any lies today, and I haven't been to work for 20 years.

Edited March 9, 2019 by BritManToo

[marcusarelus]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Most men don't do any of that stuff, I haven't told any lies today, and I haven't been to work for 20 years.

Facebook users are 76% female (out of 100% of all females) and 66% male (out of 100% of all males).

 

Boyo are you wrong. 

 

https://zephoria.com/top-15-valuable-facebook-statistics/

[marcusarelus]

44 minutes ago, Thaiwrath said:

I find it bizarre when you walk into a busy restaurant, with many couples dining out, and there is hardly a word being spoken, as everyone is so engrossed in their mobile phones !

So many young people today cannot survive without their social media, and wonder how us older people survived without it. Easy, we had proper conversation, and every 'friend' we had, we had met in person.  

Go to a better restaurant.  Better the restaurant the less the mobile phone use.  Young people are much smarter than old people.  Buckminster Fuller the “Knowledge Doubling Curve" 

[thaiguzzi]

1 hour ago, villagefarang said:

My digitally challenged relatives have pretty much disappeared from our lives and we have no clue what they are up to and often don’t even hear about deaths until many months later.

Er, that doesn't come across as very nice......

Family in an ideal world should be real close, regardless of distances, age groups and monetary values.

Still, each to their own.

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, villagefarang said:

I don’t doubt there are some posers on social media but they don't really bother me, besides I really enjoy seeing what my friends and my wife’s friends are up to.  Some travel a lot, others do some really interesting things and some have a very creative photographic style.  None of them live next-door so without social media we would be completely out of the loop.  My digitally challenged relatives have pretty much disappeared from our lives and we have no clue what they are up to and often don’t even hear about deaths until many months later.

 

How others use social media is up to them as far as I am concerned.  I use social media the way I wish and allow others to do the same.  I don't understand why people get so upset about what other people they don't even know do.  If you want to talk, fine.  If you want to text, fine.  Why the need to be so controlling and authoritarian?

I found new relatives through a DNA testing service that lists the results online and we got together over facebook.  Turns out momma was a bit of a rolling stone.  And I took after momma.

 

 

[MiNombreEsFicticious]

3 hours ago, Katia said:

It has nothing to do with social media. 

Sadly, the research says otherwise. Depression is strongly correlated to use of social media. The more people use it, the worse they feel. It's quite possibly the greatest threat to civilization, or at least to life as we know it. Have a nice day.

[JAFO]

5 hours ago, MiNombreEsFicticious said:

Depression is strongly correlated to use of social media. The more people use it, the worse they feel. It's quite possibly the greatest threat to civilization, or at least to life as we know it

I have read the studies as well and my real time observations seem to support it.  I do not use social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. I use messenger or phone to keep in touch with friends and family on the other side of the world. Most of the time I call. What I find disturbing is as someone mentioned earlier about people engrossed in their phones in groups or walking into a restaurant and seeing people taking pictures of their food and the endless selfie behavior. 

 

To VFs point, use it as one wishes but I still think those platforms have changed the world and not really in a positive way.  

[Katia]

6 hours ago, MiNombreEsFicticious said:

Sadly, the research says otherwise. Depression is strongly correlated to use of social media. The more people use it, the worse they feel. It's quite possibly the greatest threat to civilization, or at least to life as we know it. Have a nice day.

Where did I refer to depression?  i was talking about people lying about their lives-- as the rest of my post evidenced.  And this is something people have done since the beginning of time and will continue to do long after anyone knows what Facebook is.

Edited March 10, 2019 by Katia

[Katia]

54 minutes ago, JAFO said:

I have read the studies as well and my real time observations seem to support it.  I do not use social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. I use messenger or phone to keep in touch with friends and family on the other side of the world. Most of the time I call. What I find disturbing is as someone mentioned earlier about people engrossed in their phones in groups or walking into a restaurant and seeing people taking pictures of their food and the endless selfie behavior. 

 

To VFs point, use it as one wishes but I still think those platforms have changed the world and not really in a positive way.  

They've also allowed people to keep in touch who otherwise wouldn't, to meet people and learn things they never would have met or learned about if restricted to their own little "real life" world, connect to other people when otherwise they may have been lonely, etc.  Hell, maybe the couple texting while dining are being distracted from arguing with each other instead.  It's just that everyone likes to complain about the bad things and not talk about the positives.

[marcusarelus]

6 hours ago, MiNombreEsFicticious said:

Sadly, the research says otherwise. Depression is strongly correlated to use of social media. The more people use it, the worse they feel. It's quite possibly the greatest threat to civilization, or at least to life as we know it. Have a nice day.

What research?  Actually research says people social media are well adjusted and those that don't are not.  

[Nyezhov]

1 hour ago, JAFO said:

taking pictures of their food

Food pics are important, although the selfie trend is silly

[baansgr]

Facebook  etc was invented with Thai women in mind.... 

[marcusarelus]

14 minutes ago, baansgr said:

Facebook  etc was invented with Thai women in mind.... 

A Nielsen study shows that women spend nearly 10 minutes social networking through the mobile web, or through apps every day, whereas men spend a little less than 7 minutes.

 

https://www.brandwatch.com/blog/men-vs-women-active-social-media/

[villagefarang]

All the people I know, like and find interesting are on social media, non of them are family and we would find it very difficult to stay connected without it.  Like with so many other things (drugs, alcohol, food, guns, vehicles...etc.) some people will find a way to abuse it and fall victim to their own weakness.  Personally my life is much better with social media than without but I take responsibility and monitor my own use.  

 

Some people are close to family but I am not.  My parents are dead and I haven't seen the vast majority of my relatives for more than 40 years.  The only ones I know anything about are on social media.  Then again I am not the least bit nostalgic or traditional in my beliefs or lifestyle.

 

[thaiguzzi]

As my 82 y/o Dad says, it aint social media it's anti-social media.

Very true, when you walk into a resto and everybody has got their face stuffed into their phone rather than having a conversation with each other.

As for taking photos constantly of what food they are being served, inc my missus, best i don't go there.

And my Dad has embraced modern technology,  has more wifi stuff than me inc Whats App, travels everywhere with Sat Nav (in fact he has sold cars because the sat nav was so poor) whereas i still like my paper maps.

He just despises Facebook/Instagram and what it has created in society and i have to agree.

The pretentiousness, the art of being a celeb for, er, being a celeb etc etc. The falseness of it all, the Kardashian factor etc etc.

Sorry rant over, now getting my bucket.

[Katia]

I would far rather people take selfies than have other people take pictures of them.  At least with a selfie you don't have the picture taker 10 feet away glaring at you if you dare to walk in between them and the person being photographed.  Or asking YOU to move out of the way of whatever thing they're posing in front of so they can get their picture!

[Nyezhov]

20 minutes ago, Katia said:

I would far rather people take selfies than have other people take pictures of them.  At least with a selfie you don't have the picture taker 10 feet away glaring at you if you dare to walk in between them and the person being photographed.  Or asking YOU to move out of the way of whatever thing they're posing in front of so they can get their picture!

On the other hand, think of poor me set up with a tripod for a nice shot and someone just casually walks and stands in front of me? 

 

Like wow, can you give me 1/640th of a second to snap dude? 

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

Like wow, can you give me 1/640th of a second to snap dude? 

200bht

[Nyezhov]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

200bht

Thats what I give to the girls for a photo shoot, not some Rooskie with a scowl or a horde of Chinamen.

 

[JAFO]

Like anything, all in moderation. I know many that use the platforms for business. Do not get me wrong, I do see some value in them but IMHO it's what I am seeing with the next generation of people that is disturbing.  I use Google drive and send photos and vids to family specific or circle of friends. There isn't the validation nonsense with a "Like" or "cool" or any of that nonsense.   My 88 year old Dad sends me WhatsApp messages all the time.  He has embraced that aspect of keeping in touch with his son anytime he wants. 

 

To me sites like FB  and Instagram are really just a computer virus and most people are totally clueless as to the risk they pose to their lives.  

 

In the end it is what it is. It's a social tool that some use  There are some good and bad things using them I just think far too many younger folks spend hours and hours updating their page and looking for likes and validation. They also are quite addicted to it.  They require constant feedback.  Not to long ago my wife and I went with 2 other couples on a beach getaway resort trip and when we arrived the internet connectivity was terrible. It almost drove them nuts.  They actually were a bit lost on what to do, and how to have a conversation with people.  The bulk of the discussion at dinner was them complaining they would not come again because they had limited internet access.  

 

 

[Katia]

11 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

On the other hand, think of poor me set up with a tripod for a nice shot and someone just casually walks and stands in front of me? 

 

Like wow, can you give me 1/640th of a second to snap dude? 

Unfortunately, it does not work that way.  Interesting sights and tourist attractions are always chock-full of people and you're left hoping the crowd clears so you get your shot or simply give in and decide you're going to have people in it (I have plenty of pictures of neato things that are blurry because I took the shot hurriedly when there miraculously weren't people, or of neato things with people I don't know posed in front of them as if that was the point of my shot). 

 

It sucks but there's nothing you can do unless you pay to rent the place and have it cordoned off from other people, so you learn to live with it.  But no, someone doesn't get to ask other people who are enjoying the view to move out of their way so they can get their perfect photo!  No one is that damn special.  I won't deliberately step in your path, but I'm not moving if I was there first until I'm done seeing the thing.  Everyone's right to see it is equally important and I'll be damned if I'll give up my right because someone else is dead set on getting a perfect shot or plopping their own face in front of it.

 

Yes, this problem would be partly eliminated if people didn't feel the need to put themselves in front of everything they see as if they're going to improve the view or feel like if they aren't in the picture people won't believe they were actually there-- people have said to me before, "you're never in your pictures!" and I say, "You know what I look like, but the picture is of Wat Arun/this mountain/whatever."  But good luck changing that.

[dotpoom]

"It has become glaringly obvious that a vast number of people aren't really personally happy however theypost on social media in an attempt to convince others they are".

  -----------

   I blame the "mobile phone" for the hugh changes I observe in people's interaction with other. Less smiling, less "talking nice" to each other. It's as if there is an subliminal addiction to the phone that they are not even aware of...a "withdrawal" affect when it is not in their hand. They would rather have an interaction with people through an "object"...rather than face to face.

But I don't see how one could claim to know how happy another person is.

  Funny thing, on that last point I have just made. I personally have become a bit of a recluse. I got to a point where I could barley cope with the "selfcenterdness" I observed in most people... I developed a habit after getting to know a person a little to ask them..."Are You Happy"...It was a really great way of getting to know someone, a glance into their inner selves etc.,..and they knew you were interested enough in them to ask it. The answers were mostly  facinating, a way of really getting to know them.

  I am 69 yrs. of age and as far as I can recall..."I have never been asked that question"..(except by a really close family member).