Wai Why

[pazza]

I believe to Wai is to show (in Thai society) respect to one's elders and betters, as a farang (and in my case a manual worker) in Thailand who would that be.

To illustrate my point I was told “never wai a taxi driver or a bar girl” ?? I was not offered any explanation so don’t ask, and recently I was told by my girlfriend not to use her mother or fathers names (nicknames) and it was good manners to wai them, this I can understand.

Also I have seen on occasion many farang wai-ing everyone in sight and I am told that this makes Thai people laugh (at our expense)

So can anyone put me straight and tell me (In the spirit of trying to do things right ) who do we (I) wai and an explanation would be nice (but I suppose not necessary) too.

hope you can put me straight.

Steve (look I am doing it again)

[IvanLaw]

Personal , (I am no expert) I wai

My wife’s Parents & Relatives who are older than me.

Local People of “Importance” & Monks

+ Any one my wife tells me to.

If some one is Kind to you say thank you with your Voice & Hands

Hope this helps

Regards

[Pepe']

I was told to always wai monks and older people.

Never younger people or bar girls. Just watch the Thai people.

I remember back in 1972 my first visit to Thailand, I would wai to everyone.

It was entertaining for most of them I'm sure.

When in doubt, to play it safe, you can always nod your head to just about anyone.

You wouldn't have to be concerned about being disrepsectful or seen as being foolish...

[pazza]

" Any one my wife tells me to " I suppose that goes for girlfriends too

Thanks for the pointers guys

Steve

[IvanLaw]

" Any one my wife tells me to " I suppose that goes for girlfriends too

Thanks for the pointers guys

Steve

Show sooper respect =

Lower your head when passing

Always appreciated by wife’s family when I do to her Mum

PS

I know who is BOSS in my wife’s house

(She just told me again)

[Pepe']

" Any one my wife tells me to " I suppose that goes for girlfriends too

Thanks for the pointers guys

Steve

Show sooper respect =

Lower your head when passing

Always appreciated by wife’s family when I do to her Mum

PS

I know who is BOSS in my wife’s house

Excellent advice...

(She just told me again)

[Crossy]

There are quite a few threads on this subject (try a search) although none very recent.

Everything they ^^^ said, watch the locals, follow suit and you won't go far wrong and even if you do get it wrong (so long as it's not The King) you'll be forgiven

I only wai my wifeys mum, lovely old lady (87, always gets a smile), monks and senior officials, everyone else gets a nod and smile.

[robhudd]

Hi All

I read this is in Thai Airways Magazine so it must be true

There are 3 basic Wais.

The first you do to people of the around the same age or social standing, you wai and the tip of your index finger touches your chin.

Number two wai is to people who are older or of higher social standing, you wai and the tip of your index finger touches the tip of your nose and the tip of your thumb touches your chin.

Number 3 wai is for monks, you wai and the tip of your index finger touches between your eyes and the tip of your thumb touches the tip of your nose.

As my Thai firends explian you do not wai children or soeone serving you.

[Shah Jahan]

As my Thai firends explian you do not wai children or soeone serving you.

I have heard that if you wai a child first, then you are giving the child bad luck - also if somebody wais you first you can always wai them back.

[Minburi]

I have talked with my wife about this a number of times. We have a friend and he wai`s everyone from kids to monks with out a real understanding why eh is wai`ing. My wife thinks hes crazy.

There are many rules to consider. Hand Position to start and then status and age and then there is who wai`s lower and shows deferal to the other and such. My wife said it is easier to just shake hands with who every it is as that is what the Thai person will expect and they will know as a farang I will not understand the rules.

In the end if you do want to Wai someone then do so as the Thai person will not correct you as they do not want to embarrass you for doing it wrong but they will secrety think your crazy.

[pazza]

Hi All

I read this is in Thai Airways Magazine so it must be true

There are 3 basic Wais.

The first you do to people of the around the same age or social standing, you wai and the tip of your index finger touches your chin.

Number two wai is to people who are older or of higher social standing, you wai and the tip of your index finger touches the tip of your nose and the tip of your thumb touches your chin.

Number 3 wai is for monks, you wai and the tip of your index finger touches between your eyes and the tip of your thumb touches the tip of your nose.

As my Thai firends explian you do not wai children or soeone serving you.

This sounds reasonable, but, I saw a guy do this a few times,

I don’t know if the guy was joking (he was a guy I saw wai,ing everyone) but, I think it was mostly when he was grovelling to his missus, he wai,ed with the heel of his hands resting on the top of his head and his head bent low, do you think this is a genuine (4th) wai or was he acting (and if so he deserves an Oscar) the fool.

Steve

[soundman]

Wai'ng properly will gain a foreigner enormous respect within thai soceity.

In some respects it is almost the equivalent of the "japannese bow".

Pointers:

Someone of an older age - higher social position - somebody you need a service or some goods from.

- Be the first to wai with the tips of your fingures roughly at eye level. - Exception - Close family members where the age difference is between 0 - 20 years on the positive side. A lower wai will suffice & then only if you haven't seen that person in quite some time.

Reciprocal wai might be from bare observance that you actually exhist to a wai of slightly lower height or speedier motion.

Someone of an younger age - lower social position - somebody who wants a service or some goods from.

- Wait first for the wai from the other person and when reciprocating always wai a fration lower or with a slightly speedier motion. - Exception - Consider your respect and / or need for this person in the future. Even if a child wai's you, a small wai around chest height in a quick motion or a nod of the head will suffice.

Being wai'ed by anybody & not returning it or recognition of their exhistance is considered the height of bad manners. As falangs we are cut a huge amount of slack for not understanding of the wai.

If anybody who reads this forum plans to live in thailand, learning to wai properly is almost the most important thing one could do. Learn it and one huge step in integrating with thai soceity is overcome. Don't bother to learn it & you will become one of the many falangs who will always be treated as a complete outsider.

The choice is yours, the basics I have outlined above, the real wai is even more complex & only by living in thai soceity will one learn the subtle differences.

Cheers,

Soundman.

[damo]

I only wai my grandfather, no one else. It's not beacase I'm some sort if prick but I'm not Thai and If I don't wai it's not a big deal anyhow. I've never been pulled up by anyone for not wai-ing but I have been told off for the way I sit when I sit on the floor. Maybe some aspects of Thai culture are in fasion more than others. There are alot worse thing a farang can do than not wai-ing someone.

[WaiWai]

why wai

... you rang ?

The other night, an old monk eating outside a house* called, "Bless you" (only identified the exact words later) as I approached. I waied without thinking and smiled appreciatively, as I walked by. He added, "good luck," with a radiant, toothless smile. Later, I thought I had not shown sufficient respect, but it felt fine at the time.

Then, in the night market, I saw an older foreign woman who had just made a purchase return the salesgirl's wai with a quick curtesy. It was mildly amusing but quite understandable as a reflex desire to reciprocate from someone used to a less hierarchical society.

Interesting to see how quickly we can acclimatise.

* I have a question about this; perhaps someone can answer quickly without disrupting the thread. There's a wat very close by this house. It appears to be a large, tastefully grand residential place, with rather ramshackle quarters for a number of workers next door. The monks can be seen eating outside the house, but on marble benches within its grounds, adjacent to the street.

What is this place ?

[WaiWai]

I only wai my grandfather, no one else

I am wondering "wai", if you're not Thai, you wai your grandfather ?

[soundman]

Oh and I forgot..

Try wai'ing another falang here.

If he wai's back he's obviously been here a while. Worth a laugh a too when out & about in the resorts.

Soundman.

[wintermute]

Don't wai at all. Just smile and nod your head because that's all that should be expected of you as a foreigner. The wai can be rather demeaning and it's playing into the social hierarchy here.

[astral]

I am a grandfather and just about everyone does Wai me ..................................

Only the few family member who are older and I know who they are and Wai them.

Adults who Wai me deserve a Wai back, but not too deep.

Kids just get a polite nod of acknowledgement, that is important to....................

[pazza]

A funny thing (peculiar, not 555).

I attend a Thai boxing gym in the UK and the wai is used when entering and leaving the gym, to other boxers and to the instructors, this always felt a natural thing to do but when placed in the real (so to speak) world (Thailand) I felt a little silly, probably because I didn’t know the rules.

I must say this thread has helped and I will feel a bit more confident in my use of the Wai.

Thanks guys and, to my elders, betters and anyone my girlfriend tells me to.

Steve

[qwertz]

There's nothing wrong with a wai, except I've never seen a farang do it with the natural grace of a Thai or Indian. I settle for a slight bow from the waist, German style, without clicking the heels. That seems to suffice for most formal intros.

[soundman]

Just refreshing this thread to put it next to the other one, only 1 day apart...

Soundman.

[CSS]

Thai's are very gracious in understanding that foreigners do not understand their culture or customs and thus it is very unlikely that you would ever offend someone or be subject to abuse for not 'wai'ing. However, by failing to attempt to wai you confine yourself to a the tourist class on the outside. By attempting to wai, even if incorrectly Thai's at least recognize you as someone interested in them, in Thailand and it's culture, thus you are mentally placed in another category. Yet again, the more proficient you become at waiing correctly and in correct situations the greater respect you will garner and the more you can become an insider separating yourself from the common class of Foreign tourists and expats living outside of Thai society.

In a very simplified summary of what has basically already been said:

The higher the hand position and the deeper the bow of the head the greater respect you show for the recipient of the wai.

The wai is initiated by the person of lower status or age, thus you wouldn't initiate a wai with a child (or in answer to your post a bar girl) and in response would only have a very short low wai to show acknowledgment of their respect. (An exception is in instructing very young children Thai's often wai them as a model of what the child should do)

[pumpuiman]

It's my understanding that the wai is performed to acknowledge the "Buddha nature" in others.

To show you believe all people have the ability to be enlightened.

That everyone can be a Buddha.

I believe thats why we wai.

[jamman]

I believe to Wai is to show (in Thai society) respect to one's elders and betters, as a farang (and in my case a manual worker) in Thailand who would that be.

To illustrate my point I was told “never wai a taxi driver or a bar girl” ?? I was not offered any explanation so don’t ask, and recently I was told by my girlfriend not to use her mother or fathers names (nicknames) and it was good manners to wai them, this I can understand.

Also I have seen on occasion many farang wai-ing everyone in sight and I am told that this makes Thai people laugh (at our expense)

So can anyone put me straight and tell me (In the spirit of trying to do things right ) who do we (I) wai and an explanation would be nice (but I suppose not necessary) too.

hope you can put me straight.

Steve (look I am doing it again)

One should never suck up to someone below ones station. Sucking up is for gaining merit.

[pazza]

Thanks for the input guys.

This post has helped me understand Thai people and culture a little bit better than I did before (only 99.9% to go ).

And I think it is my first post that has gone into double (reply) figures.

Thanks again

Steve

[dseawarrior]

It's my understanding that the wai is performed to acknowledge the "Buddha nature" in others.

To show you believe all people have the ability to be enlightened.

That everyone can be a Buddha.

I believe thats why we wai.

I generally agree with this idea and have at times been laughed at because of wai-ing someone of "lower" status... (nearly) Everyone deserves respect and kindness... Knowing the technical points of wai-ing is just fine -- but with a caveat ~ some people of "high status" (even monks and elders!) don't necessarily deserve respect... but to get along, you have to do it!

So, I prefer to wai children (the less tainted of all! ;-)

But I play the game of the adults, too... We all do what we can and "kaw tod" and a wai works when one forgets or doesn't know the "rules"

Think outside of the box, but know what's inside the box as well!

dseawarrior

[oooooo]

learn naturally, just watch politicians, businessmen, celebrities etc greet each other (wai) on TV. as a farang if u decide to return the wai it must be well researched and practiced or u will make a fool of urself.

the wai relates to factors such as age, social and marital status, influence, wealth, connections, religious ranks and merits, politics, power, and most importantly royalty.

if properly understood and applied ( i dont claim to have mastered this form of art ) it will open a lot of doors for u locally. it has for me though so i think i must be doing something right.

as a foreigner ur in no way obliged to return a wai at all. if u feel uncomfortable with a wai response just smile and slightly nod ur head. this may be construed as "farang mai roo ruang" or "the foreigner is unawares" but beats by far the embarassment inccured by a westerner waiing a cocktail lounge hostess, waitress, or taxi driver in an inappropriate way.

[oooooo]

learn naturally, just watch politicians, businessmen, celebrities etc greet each other (wai) on TV. as a farang if u decide to return the wai it must be well researched and practiced or u will make a fool of urself.

the wai relates to factors such as age, social and marital status, influence, wealth, connections, religious ranks and merits, politics, power, and most importantly royalty.

if properly understood and applied ( i dont claim to have mastered this form of art ) it will open a lot of doors for u locally. it has for me though so i think i must be doing something right.

as a foreigner ur in no way obliged to return a wai at all. if u feel uncomfortable with a wai response just smile and slightly nod ur head. this may be construed as "farang mai roo ruang" or "the foreigner is unawares" but beats by far the embarassement incurred by a westerner waiing a cocktail lounge hostess, waitress, or taxi driver in an inappropriate way.

once u feel confident in ur waiing abilities i also recommend to make it a golden rule to wai anyone who wais u. as in u get a wai u return it.

Edited March 6, 2007 by oooooo

[h90]

not long time ago I sat at the Hat Yai airport and there was one "Lord" coming. Didn't understood who, but got told he is even older than the HMK. There were only a few Thai people (actually just one) because they other hide somewhere. Security run arround but didn't tell me to leave. One Thai man quickly Waied him and he did the same fast so it was almost impossible to tell who started.

When he passed me with all his helpers (I sat lonely looking like a tourist), he rised his right hand waved and said with a big smile (nearly a laugh) HELLO.

I did the same.

I remember it as very friendly, while it was very amazing for the Thais.

[MioBikerBoyz]

I wai people I respect. If your an old Thai man or woman whos a relative but gives me a hard time, you can kiss my buttocks. Cuz unless you show others respect and don't consider yourself apart of the hierarchy bullchain, then we got a deal.