Sin Sod

[swm59nj]

               Hello all. Im 63 years old from the USA, planning very soon to move to Bangkok. I was speaking to this Thai woman I know that lives in Bangkok. She is divorced, 44 years old, and has two children ages 15 and 13. She works as a assistant manager for a hotel from a major chain in Bangkok for 26 years.

               She was explaining Thai marriage culture to me. She said if she married again, she would expect to receive a salary each month from her husband. She also told me about the dowry. She says she expects 1,000,000 baht for the dowry.  Both her parents are deceased. I asked who is this 1,000,000 baht dowry is going to. She said it would go to her and she would put it in a bank account under both our names. This makes no sense to me. Should a dowry be paid to the future wife if both her parents are dead? And I was under the impression that if the woman is divorced, older, and has kids, the amount of the dowry is much less.

Is all this true?

                 I

[marcusarelus]

No.  Of course not.  Perhaps for show and then she gives it back to you in 10 minutes in another room. 

 

The dowry is the wealth a woman brings to her husband.  Bridewealth is the money a man gives to the lady. 

 

I'd check the employment.  Sounds like a scammer to me and doubt the is a manager for a major chain. 

[cornishcarlos]

You could get a much better, up to date model for half the price. Most have high mileage though !! 

[brokenbone]

i would counter offer with 20 to 100 baht per night

depending on performance,

and say only a fool pay in advance and you will have none of it

[Puchaiyank]

You need to look thru some past posting on this subject...don't be taken for a fool...don't be scammed...there are literally 10s of thousands of Thai ladies to choose from...give yourself some time to become accustomed to Thai culture...

 

Good Luck!   ????

[tifino]

and now that she's past the 40, and already has her kids... it will soon be said to latest husband:      "no more sex"ries man, to make wife's life better a better one

 

just book ahead to the hotel - and see if she is there to serve you? 

 

 

the 100000 is what she puts aside, for herself; for 'when; it again becomes time to dump latest husband for new boyfriend

 

 

a falang marries woman, to make the wife's life a better one.

a Thai (she) marries the man, to make the wife's life a better one

 

 

 

Edited March 27, 2019 by tifino

[Rally123]

She's damaged goods. If she still insists on you paying Sin Sot walk. I never paid Sin Sot.

[Peterw42]

My wife puts a different perspective on sin sod. I didnt pay any but she explained how it worked when she married and later divorced a Thai guy.

She basically lost everything, typical story, he had girlfriends, gambled etc she worked hard in his business etc. he kept the house, car, business as it was his prior to marriage. The only thing she walked away with was a substantial sin sod, that she had in mums bank. 

A paid up-front divorce settlement. She got her share of the relationship/partnership going into it, not at the end of the relationship. He promised to take care forever, she just got some of it up-front.

 

Its similar to a top executive getting a sign on bonus or share allocation when they start.

Or you could look at it as the last big bar-fine, lol

 

Edited March 27, 2019 by Peterw42

[BigT73]

3 hours ago, swm59nj said:

she would expect to receive a salary each month from her husband.

Sounds like a business transaction.  She really must have tickets on herself.

[richard_smith237]

She saw you coming....  

 

Conventional opinion is that under normal circumstances a Thai would not pay Sin-Sod to a divorcee with children. 

 

This is a bit mean but I'll go ahead anyway.... She expects you to pay 1MB to 'put-out' under the facade of a marriage before she runs with your money....

 

Edited March 27, 2019 by richard_smith237

[ratcatcher]

When I met my wife she was 38. She had no parents at that time. When we married I raised and presented a "sin sod" on a tray that was prominently shown to our wedding guests for the benefit of my wife and family. A face saver.. After the wedding, she gave me all the money back and I've been with her ever since. She's a practical, strong woman. 

In the case of the OP, it sounds as though she's running a business, what with the salary demand and sin sod too. Plus she's got a good job in the hotel.

She's got mileage and making those demands should put you on guard. If you're not comfortable about these arrangements, put her on her bike and slap her bum.

[PatOngo]

[AlexRich]

You are being taken for a fool. Best plan is to come to Thailand and have a bit of fun for a few years. Get to know the place. Make an effort to learn the language, it will help you in the long run and keep your brain focused. Make sure you like Thailand before making any long term commitments. 

[NCC1701A]

 

4 hours ago, swm59nj said:

She says she expects 1,000,000 baht for the dowry. 

1,000,000 divided by a short time with model quality, 26 year old girls from escorts websites, in Bangkok for 3,700 baht equals 270 sex acts with 270 different women.

 

assuming one new woman every three days that's 121 woman every year for for 2.21 years. 

Edited March 27, 2019 by NCC1701A

[Jonah Tenner]

At 44 with two kids she should pay the sin sod to you.

My current gf is 37, has two sons. She wants to get married, has not been married before.

She mentioned  sin sod, and I asked how much she would pay. Haven't heard any more about sin sod, but she still wants to get married..

[Khaeng Mak]

Really, another sin sod thread?

 

All these paid posts are getting rather tiresome. 

[Myran]

If anything, a 44-year-old with two kids should pay you a sin sod.

[kingstonkid]

My advice is to get a girlfriend and enjoy it.  Do not take it seriously and DO NOT TRUST HER.  My present GF wants to be sure she is looked after once i die LOL.  I have assured her she will but will not tell her the details until after we are married.

 

As to payment monthly yes I give her some money to look after things and also to invest.  I watch the investment though and it is not enough to cause me grief.

 

She wanted a house and a car so I bought her both right away.  She was not happy with either something about she wanted the real thing and not a toy.  I explained that she did not tell me that so there she is. 

 

[BanMuangFarang]

Run... I didn't pay any sinsod to my 45 year-old wife who has two grown up children from a previous marriage to a Thai. She sometimes mentioned it over the years, but I just said I've probably paid it twice over through paying for her daughter's University fees, modernising her house and buy a car last year. My wife has never mentioned sinsod to me since.

 

As many of the other members mentioned, go to Thailand - see if you like it long-term then go and find that person who you can trust.

Edited March 28, 2019 by BanMuangFarang

[Ahab]

Married previously with children, no Thai man would pay anything for sin sod to marry this woman. If you pay 1 baht you are a fool. Regarding a salary that is up to you. As many have said you should run away as fast as possible because it is my prediction that it will be downhill from here. Would you pay 31,000 USD to marry a divorcee in the USA? I wouldn't and you should not do it just because someone who will be receiving the money tells you that it is a "Thai custom". I wish you luck, but as many have already said you need to bail on this one and find a better woman down the road. Plenty of good ones to be found, and also plenty that only see you as a walking ATM. I think you have found one of the latter.

[mike787]

DO NOT PAY IT!  

DO NOT PAY IT.  

If you do, you will regret it.  Bar girls call it short time or long time.  It's the same thing, you're just paying a bigger price, with less options.  Tell her, your love and commitment is priceless and free. If that's not enough for her, then you need to consider if going down that road is the right path for you...it might be or not, but you have to make that "choice".

Edited March 28, 2019 by mike787

[dotpoom]

We should get the 1,000,000 Bt....(for reading this nonsense).

[eddie61]

Caveat emptor...... retreat!!!

[helloagain]

On 3/27/2019 at 6:45 PM, Puchaiyank said:

You need to look thru some past posting on this subject...don't be taken for a fool...don't be scammed...there are literally 10s of thousands of Thai ladies to choose from...give yourself some time to become accustomed to Thai culture...

 

Good Luck!   ????

Thai custom.... Rip off foriener 

[justin case]

pretty sure this is a troll ...

[helloagain]

On 3/27/2019 at 3:54 PM, marcusarelus said:

No.  Of course not.  Perhaps for show and then she gives it back to you in 10 minutes in another room. 

 

The dowry is the wealth a woman brings to her husband.  Bridewealth is the money a man gives to the lady. 

 

I'd check the employment.  Sounds like a scammer to me and doubt the is a manager for a major chain. 

Remind her shes second hand goods and a bit long in the tooth. She should give to yiu

[justin case]

12 hours ago, Ahab said:

Married previously with children, no Thai man would pay anything for sin sod to marry this woman. If you pay 1 baht you are a fool. Regarding a salary that is up to you. As many have said you should run away as fast as possible because it is my prediction that it will be downhill from here. Would you pay 31,000 USD to marry a divorcee in the USA? I wouldn't and you should not do it just because someone who will be receiving the money tells you that it is a "Thai custom". I wish you luck, but as many have already said you need to bail on this one and find a better woman down the road. Plenty of good ones to be found, and also plenty that only see you as a walking ATM. I think you have found one of the latter.

tell her it is custom in your country that the family of the bride pays for a big 100 - 1000+ guests.... she will start running for the hills

[thaipo7]

I paid 2,000 baht, 48 years ago and got the money back the same day.  We are still married.   But I did buy a water buffalo for 5000 Baht before speaking marriage.

[edwardflory]

A "virgin" maybe, but a lady with 2 children YOU will support, NO!

How about:

1) You pay housing, utilities, food, give her a reasonable monthy allowance that is hers.

Or

2) You give her XX???THB to "run" the house ( pay ALL living expended ) anything left over is hers - maybe a allowance also(?).

[alanrchase]

My wife was previously married and when the father in law made the suggestion that I should pay money to marry her I told him he had already been paid once before and she was now a free agent.