Is there ever a happy ever after with BG?

[brewsterbudgen]

I'm a bit late on this cliched and badly worded thread. Anyone married to a working bargirl is likely to have problems. Many, including me, met girls who were working in a bar, but who stopped and moved away when the relationship started. The "bar" ceased to feature. Is this really so fascinating and unusual?

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[Thaisi]

5 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

She is doing her job. You know what her job is so you shouldn't be surprised by that.

 

What do you want? It seems you don't want to give her money and probably you don't want that she does her job.

She's still keeping dialogue open with me. 

I'm not surprised, it was kind of expected that she would ask one day. I've explained to her that I won't be giving her money unless it's in person. She has said if and when we meet next I don't have to give her money, to which I responded along the lines of, "well that's not going to work, you'll earn nothing for the days we're together", as in say if we went to Buriram for a few days and that if that would be the case I would give her family the money.

As I've said before, I'm skeptical about her motives in all this of this but she does seem show a genuine side... 

As for what she does, of course I accept it currently but this isn't something I'm going to rush into, (my emotions can stay in check as this is a person close to 7000 miles away, its not like I can see her every day plus I'm quite young, I fancy building some money here first (essentially starting from nothing again at 33 after my ex) so if there's any future in this then it's going to be drawn out as can't go to Thailand much more than 4 weeks a year). So I don't expect her to stop what she does anytime soon and I told her as much. The most realistic scenario would be that over the next year or so I see her a few times, see how things develop and then eventually maybe marry her and bring her home for a while.... I don't know, I'm not making concrete plans and I don't fully know the ins and outs of how all this truly works. 

 

 

Quote

 

Where should the money come from which she needs for her life? Even if she would do a "normal" job it would likely be a lot less than what she earns now.

 

So if you want to be the only one then make an exclusive agreement with her.

Lots of guys have Thai girlfriends and wives and are happy with them. It's possible.

But don't expect the impossible.

 

Exclusivity isn't really a concern for me this very moment, I've just told her to be safe and look after her health. I'm happy to go along with this for now and see her again later in the year, but with me starting work on Tuesday and the time difference, it will be interesting to see how long she will keep this going when I can't respond or answer her face time calls until she is at work.... Which is when I'm least likely to get them. 

[marcusarelus]

2 hours ago, RobMuir said:

Thanks for responding though.

Why some men marry prostitutes is a subject that I find interesting.

You know what the sex is going to cost you before and not after.  Seems to make sense to me.  If I would have known it was that expensive, my marriages 1,2 and 3 would have never happened. 

[Thaisi]

7 minutes ago, RobMuir said:

The case of the English fella who kicked his wife to death for refusing him sex comes to mind.

Plus the other fella who was stabbed by his wife the other day and Colinneal and another poster here claims two of his wives tried to stab him. 

 

Honestly, to marry a hooker you would have to be a numpty IMO, but each to their own. 

I would argue that the difference in my scenio is that personally I would say I'm on a par looks wise with this girl and the age gap is 8 years whereas in those situations there was a clear difference in both of those departments. (the poster excluded as can't comment on their age or looks) 

[I am More Thai Than You]

 

14 hours ago, Thaisi said:

but after showing a few hours of interest today she hits me with "when you send me money"!

Like wow, 10 days home and she jumps to that... I did tell her that she earns more money than me and should send me money (strictly true as currently redundant until Tuesday next week) and she has looked at the message and not replied. 

 

Not to worry mate. The first time I came to Thailand I fell in love with a BG. Gave her my number back home (didn't end well, my Thai GF answered and the BG told her all the things I did to her under the influence of ...).

 

Alas many trips more before moving here and you learn to separate the fantasy with reality. That and watching the countless Farangs digging themselves into holes literally by losing everything and their sanity.

 

If only the REAL Thai girls did the things the BG's do...

[I am More Thai Than You]

30 minutes ago, Thaisi said:

I would argue that the difference in my scenio is that personally I would say I'm on a par looks wise with this girl and the age gap is 8 years whereas in those situations there was a clear difference in both of those departments

Who is the judge of that? Do you look Asian like all the other humans she has spent her life around pre BG? Do you really think you as a white man is more attractive physically to her than one of her own kind? 

[marcusarelus]

25 minutes ago, I am More Thai Than You said:

Who is the judge of that? Do you look Asian like all the other humans she has spent her life around pre BG? Do you really think you as a white man is more attractive physically to her than one of her own kind? 

Yes, that's why all of the movie stars and TV idols are Thai/Farang mix including many beauty queens.  And why all the plastic surgery for round eyes and bigger noses.  Bet you thought it was just to have something to rest sunglasses on eh?

 

Thai baby - no big deal.  Farang or Thai Farang mix - crowd stopper. 

[Thaisi]

20 minutes ago, I am More Thai Than You said:

Who is the judge of that? Do you look Asian like all the other humans she has spent her life around pre BG? Do you really think you as a white man is more attractive physically to her than one of her own kind? 

That's why I said "personally", so in this case I was judging that we're both of about average in our respective cultures.... As for the situation I was referring to, the English guy kicking to death the Thai woman, can't argue with the age aspect, that's a hard fact, appearance wise, she was very pretty and I'm sure Thai's would agree, him, not so much.... Surely the cultures aren't so far apart in where one sits on the attractiveness scale? 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Pravda said:

Your 7 11 analogy  is the exact reason why Western sexpats are looking in bars. It's the easiest thing to do with no skillset required whatsoever.

Lots of these girls have lots of skills. And lots of them use these skills to get lots of money from guys who are supposed to be smart and well educated...

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Thaisi said:

As I've said before, I'm skeptical about her motives in all this of this but she does seem show a genuine side...

I think it's always funny when lots of guys look for motives and long time plans which Thai girls might have.

How many Thais have you met who had any long term plans?

Most Thais think best case a month ahead. And there are many who seem to be surprised that at the beginning of each month they have to pay their rent. Who could have predicted that one?

 

I think many Thais, and also lots of non-Thais, just do what they do one day at a time. If a guy and a girl have a good time together, fine. What will happen tomorrow? What will happen next month or in a year or in a couple of years? Who knows? Even if we would have plans it would probably happen not like the way we planned it...

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, I am More Thai Than You said:

If only the REAL Thai girls did the things the BG's do...

I am sure they do. Obviously not for 1000B or 2000B but maybe they want some jewelry or a new Mercedes...

[Pravda]

2 hours ago, Thaisi said:

That's why I said "personally", so in this case I was judging that we're both of about average in our respective cultures.... As for the situation I was referring to, the English guy kicking to death the Thai woman, can't argue with the age aspect, that's a hard fact, appearance wise, she was very pretty and I'm sure Thai's would agree, him, not so much.... Surely the cultures aren't so far apart in where one sits on the attractiveness scale? 

 

Except with bargirls your looks probably don't make one iota of difference. 

 

Once I dated quite a rich girl Thai girl back in my country in her early 20s. Her parents were sponsoring her studies. Later in the relationship I asked her why was she with me and she told me she didn't know any better and was quite insecure about herself. That was until she got to know the country better where there are quite a few good looking and richer guys who started flirting with her.

 

Oh well, lets face it. If you were any good looking and had even basic social skills you wouldn't be stuck with a bottom of the barrel Thai woman no matter how good looking she is. You're just a Mr Meal Ticket.

 

Nothing personal, just the reality of the situation.

 

 

 

 

 

[MeePeeMai]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

 

High Maintenance?

[MeePeeMai]

I prefer low maintenance rides myself.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, MeePeeMai said:

 

High Maintenance?

Yes, both! 

[Tomahawk21]

13 hours ago, Pravda said:

 

Except with bargirls your looks probably don't make one iota of difference. 

 

Once I dated quite a rich girl Thai girl back in my country in her early 20s. Her parents were sponsoring her studies. Later in the relationship I asked her why was she with me and she told me she didn't know any better and was quite insecure about herself. That was until she got to know the country better where there are quite a few good looking and richer guys who started flirting with her.

 

Oh well, lets face it. If you were any good looking and had even basic social skills you wouldn't be stuck with a bottom of the barrel Thai woman no matter how good looking she is. You're just a Mr Meal Ticket.

 

Nothing personal, just the reality of the situation.

 

 

 

 

 

with a bottom of the barrel Thai woman no matter how good looking she is. You're just a Mr Meal Ticket.

 

Nothing personal, just the reality of the situation.

 

think it all depends on the sort of Thai women you are mixing with having said that European women with half a brain want a man who is or has the skills to be a decent bread winner.

[HighPriority]

People vary, enjoy her company, treat her with respect and if it's not reciprocated move on. 
 
Contrary  to the opinons of many on here she is only human, treat her accordingly, but don't expect miracles. 
 
Sadly the work she is doing can be emotionally damaging, likewise the history that brought her there. Some women really are too far gone, some are just looking for security and love, some just want a laugh. 
 
Some are just skanks. 
 
 
Bottom line - you let a woman walk all over you, and then ran away because you didn't have the stones to break up with her in person, now your experience is universal and you share it with authourity as "wisdom". 
 
 

Agree [emoji1360]


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[HighPriority]

There was always a large amount of sceptism with the whole thing but I admit that I am naive of the ways of South East Asia. Hence why I asked the original question, maybe they are all the same, maybe they are a mixed bag, maybe most truly do want to find love from what they do, but after showing a few hours of interest today she hits me with "when you send me money"!
Like wow, 10 days home and she jumps to that... I did tell her that she earns more money than me and should send me money (strictly true as currently redundant until Tuesday next week) and she has looked at the message and not replied. 
Going by the replies this topic has got I'm leaning more towards a mixed bag but generally in favour of the "they're all the same" statement. 

It’s sad to hear that you think that “...they’re all the same...”
It sounds by this post that she is a bit mercenary, and who could blame her ?
Sure, plenty of guys are straight up front with cash what they want, but plenty make promises and don’t keep them, resulting in jaded mercenary bg’s, hardly surprising...
When I expressed feelings for my now wife, her immediate and strong response was “Not say this !” And explained that she’d been lied to and promises made many times, she’d rather stay single than go through all the hurt again [emoji22]

You’ve seen the two camps, the “Every woman/Thai woman is a money grubbing machine” and the other “I’m happy with mine” group, personally I think it has less to do with the woman and more what your own outlook on life is... Are you the type to pay for sex and give her 20Baht to go to 7/11 and want change back or do you want a partner in life and love ?
I know what I want in my life...


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[HighPriority]

 

Can you make the writing smaller ? [emoji48]


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[I am More Thai Than You]

18 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

Yes, that's why all of the movie stars and TV idols are Thai/Farang mix including many beauty queens.  And why all the plastic surgery for round eyes and bigger noses.  

Yep and I guess that is why any educated, wealthy Thai girl does not want anything to do with white men.

 

But of course you are so handsome. Just ask those BGs you hang around.

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I got to say the Thai bargirl worked out a lot better then the Brit virgin.

Lots of wild times and great memories from the Thai, can't think of one moment worth remembering from the Brit.

 

Really, you need to try both before you post an opinion on this subject.

It's funny really that life doesn't work as you think it should work, and you need to try for yourself.

I did try the non BG western woman. She was worse than the BG. At least when the BG and I were having sex it was great. I didn't realise just how boring sex with the western woman was till I went to LOS.

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I did try the non BG western woman. She was worse than the BG. At least when the BG and I were having sex it was great. I didn't realise just how boring sex with the western woman was till I went to LOS.

I agree, all these guys that never tried a bg are missing out big time.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, Tomahawk21 said:

with a bottom of the barrel Thai woman no matter how good looking she is. You're just a Mr Meal Ticket.

 

Nothing personal, just the reality of the situation.

 

think it all depends on the sort of Thai women you are mixing with having said that European women with half a brain want a man who is or has the skills to be a decent bread winner.

Difference is that western women think they are special, and sex is a treat to be "earned" by the guy. In my experience, Thai BGs don't think they are "special", and never say no. I'll take the BG any time over some self entitled western princess.

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, BritManToo said:

I agree, all these guys that never tried a bg are missing out big time.

One does have to be careful who one chooses though. I have a load of disaster stories that I don't think I should post, but suffice to say that for every success, there were 2 or 3 disasters.

Horribly, the biggest disaster was my wife, who started so well, but turned into the raving looney monster from Hades.

I still remember the really great ones though, decades later.

[Pravda]

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I did try the non BG western woman. She was worse than the BG. At least when the BG and I were having sex it was great. I didn't realise just how boring sex with the western woman was till I went to LOS.

 

Perhaps you are boring, When woman is into you the sex is great and her being Western, Thai or Paki has nothing to do with it. I guess when you pay someone to rim you sex can be great too....woo hoo. But having seen quite a few bargirls on pornhub where they are getting paid to have sex is Western males and acting bored, annoyed and quite often saying Jeb, Jeb I think you guys are greatly exaggerating the bargirl experience. There is nothing more pathetic to watch than a white guy having sex with a Thai. This is why I always switch to quality Japanese programming.

 

It's funny how you guys say don't judge bargirls, but non stop judge Western women just because you were unable to get any.

 

But no one ever accused you to being objective.

 

 

[Berkshire]

On 4/18/2019 at 1:20 PM, Thaisi said:

 

Exclusivity isn't really a concern for me this very moment, I've just told her to be safe and look after her health. I'm happy to go along with this for now and see her again later in the year, but with me starting work on Tuesday and the time difference, it will be interesting to see how long she will keep this going when I can't respond or answer her face time calls until she is at work.... Which is when I'm least likely to get them. 

Hmmmm....so it doesn't bother you that she's out there doing the dirty with other guys.  Every day.  What's certain is that she'll meet someone wittier, better looking, and wealthier at some point.  What's also certain is that she'll meet some of these sick psychos that troll the bars looking for women to abuse.  You know, those kind of twisted guys that just love to physically abuse hookers.  It seems every BG has been with one of these kind of guys....which is why many of them are mentally damaged.     

[Thaisi]

2 hours ago, Pravda said:

 

It's funny how you guys say don't judge bargirls, but non stop judge Western women just because you were unable to get any.

 

I don't think this was aimed at me but I just want to say I have no problem getting with western women, but someone referred to them as "entitled western princesses" and that is essentially what I am tired of and find Thai women to be different. 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Thaisi said:

I don't think this was aimed at me but I just want to say I have no problem getting with western women, but someone referred to them as "entitled western princesses" and that is essentially what I am tired of and find Thai women to be different. 

I have no problem getting 60yo white women either.

Problem being ......... I'd rather be alone, if I can't have a woman in her 20s (and weighing less than 50Kg).

[Pravda]

1 hour ago, Thaisi said:

I don't think this was aimed at me but I just want to say I have no problem getting with western women, but someone referred to them as "entitled western princesses" and that is essentially what I am tired of and find Thai women to be different. 

 

No, it wasn't a reply to you, but thanks for the laugh regardless.

[HighPriority]

Hmmmm....so it doesn't bother you that she's out there doing the dirty with other guys.  Every day.  What's certain is that she'll meet someone wittier, better looking, and wealthier at some point.  What's also certain is that she'll meet some of these sick psychos that troll the bars looking for women to abuse.  You know, those kind of twisted guys that just love to physically abuse hookers.  It seems every BG has been with one of these kind of guys....which is why many of them are mentally damaged.     

On your first point, I agree, she probably isn’t 1/2 the saint that you are... [emoji849]


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