Getting into a relationship with a bar girl

[geoffbezoz]

47 minutes ago, Awinkl said:

It is interesting to watch the Transformation when a Farm-fresh Girl arrives on the scene - and if one watches her progression......through months of working in a Bar.

Not only does her natural beauty & naivety change - with time, but also her demeanor and overall Body-language ... as the "hardening process" set's in!! ...... as they get used to easy money, alcohol and (some) Friends - who lead them down further on the road to destruction. A (local) Thai Boyfriend might fit in there as well.....

And yet, there are the ones that get-out of the drudgery IN TIME, either by finding out that this is not really a life they can cope with - or with the assistance of some (Farang) Saviour - and are able to return to a meaningful Life .... after the BG experience

That comment seems to suggest you have spent years in the bars in order to come up with that opinion  ????

[Tomahawk21]

On 6/17/2019 at 3:20 AM, scubascuba3 said:

Sponsors are crazy, let's call it naivety.

 

The girls are just unlucky to be born poor and need money to support the family

 

 

i think it give these dicks , back in their own country to brag about to their friends, saying look this picture its my girlfriend. when she is looking hot and sexy and he looks like Mini-Me these guys have to pay for that luxury. 

[Tagged]

And it is still a interesting theme, since my wild guess, is that most of the tv posters, is involved with a prostitute, bar girl, freelancer, or former any of those above. But everyone denies it. My girl is different, right?

 

NB edit note, I read the five first posts

[richard_smith237]

8 minutes ago, geoffbezoz said:

Think you have been ogling at too many lady boys ????????

 

... or horse riders !

 

"its how they dress, how they walk and carry themselves, how they look"

[Tagged]

27 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

You can't ????? You haven't been here long enough then !!! 

 

 

When I see a man with big belly, hairy arms, hairy neck, silly tattoos, chang tank top  flipp flopps, and a big gold chain, I know Who that person is! That is what you try to tell me, by apparence of women, you know who they are right? 

 

I can see some tattoed sexy dressed and  kind of slutty girls with older men, and I think I know, but it could be his rebell grandaughter? 

 

We just like to think we know! 

[Tagged]

23 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

You can't ????? You haven't been here long enough then !!! 

 

 

Anyway, what I would like to say, it is the most innocent decent looking girls you should be aware of, it is them who will take you by surprise, not the slutty ones.

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, madmen said:

Its usually because they eventually find out they are not pretty enough to make it or they start to loose the looks after 10 years in the game and that would explain why most farang wives/partners are freakin UGLY.

If you've been with any woman for 5 years she looks freaking ugly, women in 'relationships' never age well.

Unless you started dating her when she was 15.

[rumak]

2 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

For anyone who has spent any amount of time in Thailand, for the most part its immediately recognizable 'what type of woman' you are looking at with out having to hear them speak, once they do speak any opinions based on generalisations of appearance are often cemented.

 

Most of us who've spent time here can see a Westerner with a Woman in a shopping mall and make that immediate connection... Ho / Ex-Ho or perfectly normal woman... its how they dress, how they walk and carry themselves, how they look.

I think we disagreed on something once before ( not sure  lol).......    but these two paragraphs show that you have a knowledge of Thai ladies that so many do not.    It takes time and effort (and speaking thai)  to get a real perspective on a Thai woman when you come from a western background.    Also helps to have lived in a few different areas and situations ..... not just a tourist or bar area .  And if one has come here and not had the "bar experience",   then his knowledge is also limited to second hand info.

[rumak]

4 hours ago, inThailand said:

fyi...in LOS she doesn't have to work in a bar to be a bar girl.

and on the other side .......... you can have money and be an "educated" farang and still be a total  a#hole

[ivor bigun]

Anyway, what I would like to say, it is the most innocent decent looking girls you should be aware of, it is them who will take you by surprise, not the slutty ones.

Funny you should say that but the wife and i sometimes joke when we see a really slutty girl,asking does she work in a bank or a posh office,but the biggest surprise i ever got was became friendly with a guy who ran a business with his wife,she was the least likely woman you could ever imagined had been a hooker,one day he admited that he had met her in a bar years before,well to say the wife and i were shocked was an understatement.

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[rumak]

4 minutes ago, ivor bigun said:

Funny you should say that but the wife and i sometimes joke when we see a really slutty girl,asking does she work in a bank or a posh office,but the biggest surprise i ever got was became friendly with a guy who ran a business with his wife,she was the least likely woman you could ever imagined had been a hooker,one day he admited that he had met her in a bar years before,well to say the wife and i were shocked was an understatement.

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yes,  as in anything there are always exceptions to a generalization .    

[BobBKK]

21 hours ago, kenk24 said:

Don't worry - you can probably change... then you can get out and enjoy yourself a bit in your retirement... [just kidding - a little] 

Well, many come over here after failed marriages/relationships and 'fall in love' with a girl 20/30 years younger and think they 'made it'. I think it's pathetic but if they are 'happy' with that illusion why not? if they want to believe that gorgeous young girl 'loves' that old guy (i.e. them) for their charm, looks and 'funny ways' who's to say they cannot live out that delusion? Works for the girl, money/security. and for the old guy who would never stand a chance back in their own country. An exchange!  why not?  personally I'm not getting into any of that BS and date when I want.

[Jaxxper]

On ‎6‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 9:55 PM, SenorJorge said:

I would go as far to say that any Thai woman who speaks even a moderate amount of English in a farang-dominated area may fall into this category. 

 

Bit of a broad statement....

[spidermike007]

2 hours ago, Tagged said:

And it is still a interesting theme, since my wild guess, is that most of the tv posters, is involved with a prostitute, bar girl, freelancer, or former any of those above. But everyone denies it. My girl is different, right?

 

NB edit note, I read the five first posts

I have one friend who fell in love with a Nana Plaza freelancer, who was working the disco back in the day. She was probably 35 at the time, and was likely in the trade for ten years or longer, which means 4,000 plus. Not a smart move. He had kids with her, the relationship went south, and he has a fairly miserable life. She was not particularly attractive, not particularly nice, and he did not take his time. A recipe for disaster. I know another guy who got involved with a bar girl. They are still married after 15 years, and they seem to be fairly happy. Not sure how long she was doing it prior to them meeting. It is not always doom and gloom. But, one must be very careful, and do some research to find out how long she has been at it. There is a point beyond which she is probably not capable of having a healthy relationship anymore, regardless of how good a man you are. Beware of that. A private detective is advised. Easy to do some background work, and not costly. Worth it. It is your life and your future we are talking about.

 

Regardless of whether or not she is a bar girl one rule always applies. Take your time getting to know her.

 

The biggest part of the problem here, is the extreme emasculation that is taking place in the West. Most men, in the US, Europe, and Oz, are no longer real men, when it comes to dealing with their women. Their women have made their lives so difficult, and alot of women have gotten so far away from their innate femininity, and have become dominant, and super controlling, and men just go along with it. Most men have become so hungry for love, or emotionally desperate for some kindness, and TLC. And most are so desirous of being around a real woman, who knows how to act like a woman, and manifest the dignity, within femininity. So, it is easy for the con artists, to take advantage of emotionally wounded men, who seem to be willing to do anything to regain a semblance of normality in their lives, with a decent woman. 

 

Always remember, if it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems, they are going to manifest themselves over time. The bottom line is this. Take your time getting to know a woman here, or anywhere. Time is your ally. It is rarely their ally. They are usually trying to step up the timetable. We need to push back.

 

We need to assert control. An environment like this allows us to do so. Take advantage of that. Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. Refuse to live by the tenets of "me too", and refuse to buy into "toxic masculinity". Masculinity is not toxic. Sure, it can be, if you are Harvey Weinstein. But, for most of us, it is a good thing. 

 

Start making the decisions, and stop saying "What will make you happy?" I have so many friends, who come here, and from the very start, make the same mistakes they made back in the West. Except here, they do not need to make those mistakes. The environment does not dictate that they behave like lambs. Many do not know, or realize that, or they succumb to "force of habit". Every ship needs a captain. If the man is not willing to be the captain of the ship, the woman will take over, here in Thailand. Most women here seem to want a strong man. But, if they end up with a wimp, they will take over. Someone has to.

 

If she is a big baby, who only looks like a real woman, but in reality is a 13 year old, or if she is a con artist and if she is only in it for the money, those realizations will manifest themselves over time. Time allows clarity. Never, ever move too quickly. That is the undoing of most of these guys. If you are confused, ask yourself, what would Bond do? Be a real man. Man up. Do yourself proud. Do the gender proud. 

 

[elgenon]

Bar girls need love too.

[Tagged]

6 minutes ago, elgenon said:

Bar girls need love too.

There is many smart lovely and dedicated women who work bar, and not every one is veared out, or been to long in the business. And all of us know at least one who have succeded in a relationship with a bar lady, and we all know one bar monger who claim all of them is bad, because he failed. I also know people fail bad with what they say is a good educated decent loving being of a normal thai woman. As one mentioned, have you been here long enough, your have seen it all, and maybe experienced some for yourself to. As I say before, we can only learn from our mistakes, and move on, but you will never hear me wine about how bad thai woman are. They are fantastic, and the current one, will always be the best one. 

[elgenon]

5 minutes ago, Tagged said:

There is many smart lovely and dedicated women who work bar, and not every one is veared out, or been to long in the business. And all of us know at least one who have succeded in a relationship with a bar lady, and we all know one bar monger who claim all of them is bad, because he failed. I also know people fail bad with what they say is a good educated decent loving being of a normal thai woman. As one mentioned, have you been here long enough, your have seen it all, and maybe experienced some for yourself to. As I say before, we can only learn from our mistakes, and move on, but you will never hear me wine about how bad thai woman are. They are fantastic, and the current one, will always be the best one. 

I have known many bar girls who have some outstanding proclivities. A lot have taken on a difficult job to help their families. Please, I don't need to hear your stories about how bad they are, which can also be true. I see some gentlemen pick a girl based on how crazy they are and they complain when they act crazy.

[cracker1]

I believe many "Bar Girls" are looking for a permanent relationship with a foreign man, rather than money from "prostitution" !

[1FinickyOne]

5 hours ago, BobBKK said:

Well, many come over here after failed marriages/relationships and 'fall in love' with a girl 20/30 years younger and think they 'made it'. I think it's pathetic but if they are 'happy' with that illusion why not? if they want to believe that gorgeous young girl 'loves' that old guy (i.e. them) for their charm, looks and 'funny ways' who's to say they cannot live out that delusion? Works for the girl, money/security. and for the old guy who would never stand a chance back in their own country. An exchange!  why not?  personally I'm not getting into any of that BS and date when I want.

to each his own. but for most their delusions are better than their reality... hopefùlly it doesnt bankrupt them. 

 

for many it is a veritable fountain of youth... it is a rare opportunity to feel youthful... for a price of course.

 

i nearly envy that ability to believe. 

[Swedenlars]

I believe many "Bar Girls" are looking for a permanent relationship with a foreign man, rather than money from "prostitution" !

Thats exactly the famous trap for greenhorns. I was one of them 20 years ago. I believed her. Me not like work bar, I only love you.... bla bla. As we all know (reading your post obviously not all) this is load of BS. Fact is, if she takes you as a husband or boyfriend she is just getting a steadier income from prositution (without " "). In other words, same same, different.

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[rumak]

2 hours ago, elgenon said:

Bar girls need love too.

on the other hand........ love can't buy you money

[marcusarelus]

I took a hooker to my junior prom and three to my senior prom.  First girl I brought home at 16 in a slit skirt freaked mom and when I told said she shaved her ... dad left the room. 

 

My taste in women always drove my relatives wild. 

 

First girl I met at Patpong when I fell in love and I knew she was different.  When I asked her if she had a sister she said, "yup and my daughter turns 18 next week."  We got married shortly after that.  

 

If you haven't been rolled in the Nana parking lot by a chick strung out on Yaba you ain't lived.  

 

Some of us are meant to live in Thailand and others to complain about it.  I always figured the more complaints the more ladies for me.  

 

When I was a kid I was a busboy at Bob's. 

 

<<<<Trolling video removed>>>>

 

[tingtongtourist]

17 hours ago, Benroon said:

How are they different from 15 years ago ? 

 

Can't wait for this …..

Well i could go on for ages but for 1, in those days you could get the real GF experience.

You must have experienced it to tell the difference or no doubt you will just make fun of us older guys. 

Ill also add..it wasnt just all money and it wasnt face stuck onto smart phone 24x7.

[ivor bigun]

Bit of a broad statement....

Very broad statement,all my wifes family exceot her mum can speak English, at the moment one niece is in America studying, all went to university.

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[ivor bigun]

I believe many "Bar Girls" are looking for a permanent relationship with a foreign man, rather than money from "prostitution" !

Dated one for a year 25/26 years ago ,she now owns restaurants in England married with kids,the height of respectability.

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[Swedenlars]

Dated one for a year 25/26 years ago ,she now owns restaurants in England married with kids,the height of respectability.

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Yes yes we know. Mine has a doctor degree, was a police officer, opera singer, daughter of a high ranked general, owns several big farms in Isaan......[emoji12]

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[Tagged]

26 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

I disagree, had a GF from soi 6 (many years ago when in my 40's) . 

She wore jeans and a t-shirt, no makeup, looked, walked, and smiled just like any "normal" Thai woman when we went out together.

 

 

Im sure he can spot everyone who use drugs to. Gotta be a sherlock to know who is who, and who is doing what. The thing is, you can spot the slutty ones, but thats not even a tenth of everyone who seeking benefits from men in Thailand. 

[metisdead]

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[ivor bigun]

Yes yes we know. Mine has a doctor degree, was a police officer, opera singer, daughter of a high ranked general, owns several big farms in Isaan......[emoji12]

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You did not read the post properly did you.
She was a bar girl,not a police officer,singer or accounts clerk,a hooker worked in bar( got it so far?) But now is married and lives in the UK and is the hight of respectability,you would not guess how she started out in life.
GOT IT? People can and do change their lives. If they want to.


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[geoffbezoz]

2 minutes ago, ivor bigun said:

You did not read the post properly did you.
She was a bar girl,not a police officer,singer or accounts clerk,a hooker worked in bar( got it so far?) But now is married and lives in the UK and is the hight of respectability,you would not guess how she started out in life.
GOT IT? People can and do change their lives. If they want to.


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My only opinion on your post  is that your final sentence is not necessarily the case.  You stated "if they want to" ( referring to bar girls changing their lives).  I would suggest that in by far the majority of cases it would not be "if they want to" rather a case of if they had the opportunity to.