Life is hard.

[giddyup]

5 minutes ago, remorhaz said:

Being an alcoholic is fine if done in moderation.  Assign yourself a small amount of alcohol at bedtime to drink and don't drink before bedtime.  Bring it down slowly over time so you don't shock your system and try to get it down to two shots which most people can handle long term.  

 

By the way how are you affording internet, rent, alcohol and food?  If you want to not be depressed try hunger and starvation.  These have brought lots out of depression in that they motivate you to work because starvation sucks and is best avoided.  Whoever is paying for your lifestyle at present should stop and you'd be amazed at how quickly those gnawing hunger pangs will suddenly motivate you to get to work.  

No such thing as moderation drinking for an alcoholic. I suggest you do a little research.

 

"A person with this condition does not know when or how to stop drinking. They spend a lot of time thinking about alcohol, and they cannot control how much they consume, even if it is causing serious problems at home, work, and financially".

[geoffbezoz]

41 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Yes. More evidence that they need help. But, not the kind of help the average shrink can provide.

I think paying those kind of fees is possibly systematic of the current world we live in where it is expected that the higher the cost the better the service, or rather the materialistic approach to money that people too readily adopt.

 

Frankly, and if the OP is to believed and I much earlier questioned that, then rather paying silly fees to practitioners that know zero about his family or personal background, then he would perhaps be better to discuss his problems with somebody he trusts. Despite his post and assertions that everybody in the world is against him, I don't believe it and there will be someone, even a childhood friend that he can sit down with and "dump" his problems on without fear of any prejudice. Perhaps, just perhaps delving back and finding that one single person will or could help him find a positive way forward.

 

At least that way he won't be ripped off paying hundreds or thousands of dollars in the pretense that they are only there to help you.

Edited August 4, 2019 by geoffbezoz

[DavCurtis]

On 8/1/2019 at 10:29 PM, elcaro said:

Try to pick up a hobby or work out and exercise. It sounds cliche but it has always worked for me in the past when going through a rough patch of life.

Works for me too

[Uptooyoo]

Where's the "GoFundMe" promotion?

[Pattayabeerbacon]

Just now, remorhaz said:

Being an alcoholic is fine if done in moderation.  Assign yourself a small amount of alcohol at bedtime to drink and don't drink before bedtime.  Bring it down slowly over time so you don't shock your system and try to get it down to two shots which most people can handle long term.  

 

By the way how are you affording internet, rent, alcohol and food?  If you want to not be depressed try hunger and starvation.  These have brought lots out of depression in that they motivate you to work because starvation sucks and is best avoided.  Whoever is paying for your lifestyle at present should stop and you'd be amazed at how quickly those gnawing hunger pangs will suddenly motivate you to get to work.  

Booze in moderation is an improble feat.

 

I think the problem of today is other peoples judgements, my father is a very judgemental person and very hypocritical.

 

People are quick to ask , Why? But The answer is often impossible to explain Unless they lived Through my life's struggle they will never know.

 

 You will never know how the person next to you's day/week/ year/life has been like So its best to show Respect.

 

[geoffbezoz]

1 minute ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

Booze in moderation is an improble feat.

 

I think the problem of today is other peoples judgements, my father is a very judgemental person and very hypocritical.

 

People are quick to ask , Why? But The answer is often impossible to explain Unless they lived Through my life's struggle they will never know.

 

 You will never know how the person next to you's day/week/ year/life has been like So its best to show Respect.

 

Well you seem so utterly depressed by your own situation but you do have to look on the bright side.  You are continually posting on TVF on this thread of yours so presumably you are not too intoxicated, so that's good news - yes ?

[Pattayabeerbacon]

Just now, Uptooyoo said:

Where's the "GoFundMe" promotion?

You cannot "gofundme" a person out of this type of situation , Social anxiety/Alcoholism cannot simply be Fixed by any amount of money, Some people are just unable to fit into society and cannot handle its pressure , No money will fix this.

[Pattayabeerbacon]

Just now, geoffbezoz said:

Well you seem so utterly depressed by your own situation but you do have to look on the bright side.  You are continually posting on TVF on this thread of yours so presumably you are not too intoxicated, so that's good news - yes ?

This tiny amount of dopamine released from checking internet forum must be enough to block the receptors caused by alcoholics urge to drink.

 

i know my alcoholic triggers.

 

1# Pattaya.

 

2# Fear of Flying.

 

3# family stress.

 

4# Over working.

 

5# peer pressure.

 

not in that order.

[geoffbezoz]

3 minutes ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

This tiny amount of dopamine released from checking internet forum must be enough to block the receptors caused by alcoholics urge to drink.

 

i know my alcoholic triggers.

 

1# Pattaya.

 

2# Fear of Flying.

 

3# family stress.

 

4# Over working.

 

5# peer pressure.

 

not in that order.

Have you considered joing the Thai Buddhist monk-hood outside of Pattaya ? that would remove all those triggers you have stated.

[Pattayabeerbacon]

Just now, geoffbezoz said:

Have you considered joing the Thai Buddhist monk-hood outside of Pattaya ? that would remove all those triggers you have stated.

 

Triggers will be there, its a lifelong condition. 

 

Many join Pattaya Fly club because they have hit some kind of brick wall in there life and obviously know too much, they Know the true reality.

 

 

[faraday]

53 minutes ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

Booze in moderation is an improble feat.

 

I think the problem of today is other peoples judgements, my father is a very judgemental person and very hypocritical.

 

People are quick to ask , Why? But The answer is often impossible to explain Unless they lived Through my life's struggle they will never know.

 

 You will never know how the person next to you's day/week/ year/life has been like So its best to show Respect.

 

I would guess that most people have/had issues with their parents. I definitely did.

 

I, the same as many others, have been through very testing times.

 

You have a choice:

 

Get your life together with all that it entails, & it won't be easy.

 

Or

 

Don't, & go nowhere in life, continue being unhappy etc, & perhaps die young.

 

Up to you.

 

[marcusarelus]

2 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I guess the concept of satire was over your head? My real meaning, is that 90% of all shrinks have no idea what they are doing, and provide little in the way of help to their patients, in my opinion and experience. So, one needs to very carefully vet their shrink, before committing stupid amounts of money to therapy. And frankly, some of those people who kill themselves each year cannot be helped with therapy. Meds maybe. Some just move past the breaking point. A person can only handle so much tragedy. For some, life loses it's meaning after the breaking point. No amount of therapy is going to change that. Sometimes the answer is not a shrink. They have an extremely limited amount of knowledge. Maybe a compassionate spiritual counselor, a witch doctor, or a shaman. But a shrink? They are some of the most feeble, and ill equipped medical practitioners on the planet.

You know nothing about modern medicine and that's not satire.  Go back and finish high school.  If you did finish high school I apologize but in the interest of education you should identify the country where you did so we can all vet our attendance at high school with more diligence.  

Edited August 4, 2019 by marcusarelus

[seancbk]

On 8/2/2019 at 2:14 PM, NCC1701A said:

sexoholic

try being a Sexholic like me. Ever hear of tennis elbow? I have penis elbow. Its painful but I can't stop myself. 

 

At least you can ph*ck round corners.

[NCC1701A]

15 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Way, way better to pay a gorgeous 22 year old 2,000 or even 3,000 baht, for 90 minutes of "counseling". Far more effective than most shrinks, who really have no idea what they are doing, and how to help someone improve their lot in life. $700 an hour? Is that a joke? People actually pay that? 

my on going research in this area for five years supports your hypothesis. I will publish my research on TV soon for peer review.

[Isaanbiker]

17 hours ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

im a born alcoholic, cant help meself.

 

 

Why don't you join AA and talk to people who go through the same shi+e?

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, geoffbezoz said:

I think paying those kind of fees is possibly systematic of the current world we live in where it is expected that the higher the cost the better the service, or rather the materialistic approach to money that people too readily adopt.

 

Frankly, and if the OP is to believed and I much earlier questioned that, then rather paying silly fees to practitioners that know zero about his family or personal background, then he would perhaps be better to discuss his problems with somebody he trusts. Despite his post and assertions that everybody in the world is against him, I don't believe it and there will be someone, even a childhood friend that he can sit down with and "dump" his problems on without fear of any prejudice. Perhaps, just perhaps delving back and finding that one single person will or could help him find a positive way forward.

 

At least that way he won't be ripped off paying hundreds or thousands of dollars in the pretense that they are only there to help you.

Very wise words. Bordering on sage advice. Hope he reads your post. It is very true. He obviously needs someone to talk to. I have had major issues in my life in the past, and having a dear friend, who was  very good listener was invaluable. It helped that he was wise, and offered some great advice. Most shrinks just listen. They do not offer much in the way of constructive advice, that is really applicable, to the person they are counseling. Alot of canned, book learning, which means little. 

 

Even many psychiatrists, and therapists admit how limited their own knowledge is, and how limited therapy can be.

 

As a scientific discipline, psychiatry attempts to identify, define, and treat mental suffering through a medical lens, using the language of mental illness. But given the evolving nature of this field, it is not always clear what constitutes a mental illness—what may actually be a larger social ill that we are shoehorning into a psychiatric diagnosis. For example, dialogue about violence is often linked to dialogue about mental illness in politics and the media. Although raising informed awareness of both issues is laudable, it would be a mistake to firmly connect the one with the other when evidence shows a much weaker link. Doing so both further stigmatizes an already stigmatized population, and puts up psychological blinders that prevent us from asking deeper questions about the problem of violence in our society.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parallel-process/201701/four-things-know-about-psychiatry

 

Just like not all clients are the same, neither are all therapists. In fact, therapists differ in many more ways than they are similar. Some of these differences have powerful effects on psychotherapy outcomes. While the more obvious demographic characteristics, like age and gender, don’t make a huge difference, other characteristics like their professional training and experience, their interpersonal skills, their emotional stability, their beliefsystems, and their personalities can affect the outcome a lot more. To keep the therapist variable constant in psychotherapy research, therapists are trained and supervised regularly. But even in such highly controlled conditions two therapists can come across very different. In the real world of psychotherapy practice, this homogeneity falls apart even more. Eventually, who the therapist is could have a much stronger effect on outcomes, than whether the therapist is using an effective intervention. The conclusion? For psychotherapy to be successful the client, the therapist, and the intervention must fit well together. If any of these three factors is a mismatch with the others, therapy is bound to fail.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/smashing-the-brainblocks/201603/the-3-reasons-why-psychotherapy-fails

 

 

[seancbk]

 

On 8/2/2019 at 3:21 PM, Pattayabeerbacon said:

Help and support how?

 

i work a low income job it pays on par with the dole ( uber eats).

 

I went in for surgery on compassionate grounds to treat a severe medical issue that's preventing me from working full time as i could potentially die if i continue working the field I'n the wrong cercumstance.

 

 The surgeon proceded to tell me the surgery was 3K Upfront, If i don't have the money , I can't get the surgery simple as that.

 

i asked my parents if they help, They told me they don't have the money.

 

Where is the help and support for westerners in the western world?

i dont see it.

 

 

 

Help yourself.  Stop drinking and stop spending money on anything that isn't 100% necessary to survive until you've got the money for the operation.  Then fix that problem.   

Unfortunately you don't sound like the type of person who has drive and ambition, so I doubt you'll do anything to help yourself.   

[NCC1701A]

1 hour ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

i know my alcoholic triggers.

have you tried meditation? 

 

 

[NCC1701A]

5 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I see two women having sex with a dragon. What does that mean? 

[spidermike007]

1 minute ago, NCC1701A said:

I see two women having sex with a dragon. What does that mean? 

Well, at least one of those women is Daenerys Targaryen. The other? 

[geoffbezoz]

3 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

I see two women having sex with a dragon. What does that mean? 

You want to go to china at the New Year and have sex as many times as you can.   I will advise you by PM of my bank account for my consulting fee.  In the meantime please be safe and do not use Chinese condoms. Have a good time ????

[NCC1701A]

3 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Well, at least one of those women is Daenerys Targaryen. The other? 

i don't know, i can't see her face.

[BestB]

1 hour ago, marcusarelus said:

You know nothing about modern medicine and that's not satire.  Go back and finish high school.  If you did finish high school I apologize but in the interest of education you should identify the country where you did so we can all vet our attendance at high school with more diligence.  

So At 80 years old you still planning to go back to high school ? Why else would you want to vet?

[NCC1701A]

1 hour ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

i know my alcoholic triggers.

have you tried changing your diet to fight depression?

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324367.php

 

and of course exercise. for you something very simple like walking everyday. maybe 10 km over two hours.

 

stop eating sugar in all forms today and for the rest of your life. that in includes alcohol eventuality.  no pizza, bread, KFC, Burger King. 

 

buy a blender and make green smoothies.

 

don't be dependent or codependent on a girlfriend. no one is going to fix you. after you improve, you will attract the person you need into your life. make no effort to do it. 

 

[kwak250]

I feel like you after 2-3 weeks of not drinking.

I find hitting the beer hard and a huge hangover the next day puts everything into perspective

[Pattayabeerbacon]

48 minutes ago, kwak250 said:

I feel like you after 2-3 weeks of not drinking.

I find hitting the beer hard and a huge hangover the next day puts everything into perspective

Nothing like a pint of beer in the morning to kill the DTs.

[faraday]

1 hour ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

Nothing like a pint of beer in the morning to kill the DTs.

If you have DT's when you don't drink alcohol, then you really must get Medical advice before stopping completly.

[mpyre]

On 8/2/2019 at 12:29 AM, elcaro said:

Sorry you feel that way mate. Try to pick up a hobby or work out and exercise. It sounds cliche but it has always worked for me in the past when going through a rough patch of life.

This is the right path...stop drinking and substitute exercise and working out for your alcohol abuse. Do physical work if you can. Sweat. Eat well. Stop living on the Internet and learn to close your eyes and let go...meditate if you want. And get rid if any so-called friends that may be enabling your negative behavior. After a month or two you will start to feel alive again...I guarantee it. 

I went through terrible cocaine addiction myself in my 20's...went to work on an oil rig in a remote area where I was away from my old "friends" and where I had to bust my ass working. The combination of physical labor and going cold turkey made me feel alive again.

I never touched drugs again because I didn't want them anymore...I never wanted to feel like that again. 

Good luck. 

[seancbk]

20 hours ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

This tiny amount of dopamine released from checking internet forum must be enough to block the receptors caused by alcoholics urge to drink.

 

i know my alcoholic triggers.

 

1# Pattaya.

 

2# Fear of Flying.

 

3# family stress.

 

4# Over working.

 

5# peer pressure.

 

not in that order.

I doubt very much that you are a true alcoholic as very few people actually are.   You sound like a typical bloke who has no self control and isn't willing to take responsibility for their own actions, so they use alcohol as a way to have fun and have something to blame the ensuing mess on. 

Peer pressure is a pathetic excuse.  You have friends the pressure you to drink?  then they are not real friends, they are <deleted> who you should distance yourself from.  Real friends understand when a mate wants to drink just water.  Maybe you just don't want to waste money on booze, maybe you want to lose weight, maybe you have an important meeting the next day, maybe you're on some medication.... whatever the reason real mates accept that you don't want to drink and NEVER pressure you to do so.  In fact they should encourage you not to.

Over Working is another poor excuse.  Plenty of people work long hours or hard jobs, without turning into heavy drinkers.  

Family Stress, yeah I've sensed that you don't come from a warm, loving family environment.  But don't use that as an excuse.  If your family life isn't ideal well the old adage 'you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family' come to mind.  Although it sounds like your friends are maybe not much better.

Fear of flying.  Don't fly.   Seriously though ask your doctor for some anti-anxiety medication.  Perhaps educate yourself on the statistical likelihood of being in a plane crash.  I'll save you the time looking it up...  The average person living in the United States has a 1 in 102 chance of dying in a car crash, compared to a 1 in 205,552 chance of dying as a passenger on an airplane. This means that you are more than 2,000 times more likely to die in a car than on a plane.  and read this - https://flyconfidently.com/what-are-the-odds-of-dying-in-a-plane-crash/ 

Saving the best for last... Pattaya.   Stop going to Pattaya.  I'm sorry to say this but a person in your situation should not be gallivanting around the World spending money.  You should be doing absolutely everything you can to save money for the operation you claim you need.  Pattaya (the part that guys like you go) isn't even that great a place.  I've lived in Bangkok for over 10 years and yet I've only been to Pattaya 4 times because it's a dump (last time was about 2 weeks ago with some mates as one of them was turning 50).  Complete waste of time, there was only one bar that was even close to being worth a look (SkyFall if anyone is reading and wonders which one), all the others we looked at were complete dumps with fat girls and patrons that looked like extras from the 'Walking Dead'.  I cannot for the life of me understand the appeal.

Changing your situation is not as hard as you think, it just takes will power.  I would guarantee that if you put in some real effort that within 5 years you can completely change your life.  Are you willing to make some sacrifices and put in the effort though?

[Pattayabeerbacon]

2 hours ago, seancbk said:

I doubt very much that you are a true alcoholic as very few people actually are.   You sound like a typical bloke who has no self control and isn't willing to take responsibility for their own actions, so they use alcohol as a way to have fun and have something to blame the ensuing mess on. 

Peer pressure is a pathetic excuse.  You have friends the pressure you to drink?  then they are not real friends, they are <deleted> who you should distance yourself from.  Real friends understand when a mate wants to drink just water.  Maybe you just don't want to waste money on booze, maybe you want to lose weight, maybe you have an important meeting the next day, maybe you're on some medication.... whatever the reason real mates accept that you don't want to drink and NEVER pressure you to do so.  In fact they should encourage you not to.

Over Working is another poor excuse.  Plenty of people work long hours or hard jobs, without turning into heavy drinkers.  

Family Stress, yeah I've sensed that you don't come from a warm, loving family environment.  But don't use that as an excuse.  If your family life isn't ideal well the old adage 'you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family' come to mind.  Although it sounds like your friends are maybe not much better.

Fear of flying.  Don't fly.   Seriously though ask your doctor for some anti-anxiety medication.  Perhaps educate yourself on the statistical likelihood of being in a plane crash.  I'll save you the time looking it up...  The average person living in the United States has a 1 in 102 chance of dying in a car crash, compared to a 1 in 205,552 chance of dying as a passenger on an airplane. This means that you are more than 2,000 times more likely to die in a car than on a plane.  and read this - https://flyconfidently.com/what-are-the-odds-of-dying-in-a-plane-crash/ 

Saving the best for last... Pattaya.   Stop going to Pattaya.  I'm sorry to say this but a person in your situation should not be gallivanting around the World spending money.  You should be doing absolutely everything you can to save money for the operation you claim you need.  Pattaya (the part that guys like you go) isn't even that great a place.  I've lived in Bangkok for over 10 years and yet I've only been to Pattaya 4 times because it's a dump (last time was about 2 weeks ago with some mates as one of them was turning 50).  Complete waste of time, there was only one bar that was even close to being worth a look (SkyFall if anyone is reading and wonders which one), all the others we looked at were complete dumps with fat girls and patrons that looked like extras from the 'Walking Dead'.  I cannot for the life of me understand the appeal.

Changing your situation is not as hard as you think, it just takes will power.  I would guarantee that if you put in some real effort that within 5 years you can completely change your life.  Are you willing to make some sacrifices and put in the effort though?

Put things into perspective a bit there mate.