The Rules of Lakorn

[Kinnock]

Many of us with Thai partners will have to endure Lakorn 'soap opera' serials, but one way to liven up the evening (they drag on all evening!) is to predict what will happen next using the "rules of lakorn".  

 

Plot prediction is not too difficult as there's only one story line (girl meets boy, crazy mia-noi keeps them apart until the last episode) but blurting out what will happen next can make for an entertaining, if risky evening.

 

Please add to the rules below to help fellow victims of domestic TV abuse ....

 

The Rules:

 

Whenever two people kiss, the last person who they would want to see them kissing will suddenly appear

 

Whenever a pregnant woman walks on a staircase, she will fall and have a misscarriage

 

If someone shoots a gun, they

will hit the person standing next to the intended victim

 

Anyone who coughs will die of TB

 

If someone drives away in a mood after an argument, they will crash

 

If a key character is killed  - they come back as a ghost

 

If Pah Ek (the hero) arranges to meet Nang Ek (the heroine), he will never make the meeting due to the interference of the Mia Noi 

 

If Nang Ek is alone in a bedroom with any male character apart from Pah Ek - she will be assaulted on the nearest bed.

 

If any farmers appear (easily recognised by the baggy trousers and headband), they will kidnap someone in the next scene

 

When discussing an evil plot - the trusted Housekeeper will overhear their conversation

 

It all works out in the end

 

....... have I missed anything?

 

 

 

 

[SteveK]

Brilliant!

[Briggsy]

4 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

....... have I missed anything?

The money/status aspect. I know it is obvious but you should include it. So, the rule is

 

if a white-skinned, virtuous to the point of virginal, charitable, polite, softly-spoken, yet poor and lowly hotty is introduced in episode 1, she won't be poor and lowly by the end of episode 24.

[sunnyboy2018]

Brilliant post. Excellent.

[Puchaiyank]

If you took away their guns and knives...the screaming and slapping...no one would watch...infantile minds feed off this stuff...????

[Kinnock]

2 hours ago, Briggsy said:

The money/status aspect. I know it is obvious but you should include it. So, the rule is

 

if a white-skinned, virtuous to the point of virginal, charitable, polite, softly-spoken, yet poor and lowly hotty is introduced in episode 1, she won't be poor and lowly by the end of episode 24.

Ah yes - spot on!  

[timendres]

3 hours ago, Kinnock said:

If Pah Ek (the hero) arranges to meet Nang Ek (the heroine), he will never make the meeting due to the interference of the Mia Noi 

And there will be an obligatory scene of the Nang Ek accidentally tripping and falling into the arms of Pah Ek, where their eyes will meet and the scene will nearly freeze for a breathtaking moment.

[Kinnock]

6 hours ago, timendres said:

And there will be an obligatory scene of the Nang Ek accidentally tripping and falling into the arms of Pah Ek, where their eyes will meet and the scene will nearly freeze for a breathtaking moment.

Ah yes - and the 12 slow motion replays of that moment.

[Kinnock]

One more tip - if you want to save time in your household to allow more time for domestic chores - suggest that she only needs to watch the last one of the series, as they repeat the entire storyline in flash-backs at the end of the final episode.

 

May need to remove all sharp objects before making the suggestion, but worth a try.

 

Oh, and what's with the three-piece suits in the tropics?

[SteveK]

5 hours ago, Kinnock said:

Oh, and what's with the three-piece suits in the tropics?

You don't know anything about class, do you?

[dotpoom]

I have seldom seen a move (particularly Hollywood movies) where the outcome couldn't be forecast after the first 5 minutes?

[Andrew Dwyer]

And there will be an obligatory scene of the Nang Ek accidentally tripping and falling into the arms of Pah Ek, where their eyes will meet and the scene will nearly freeze for a breathtaking moment.

Yeah, this scene usually starts where she suspects he is up to no good or seeing someone and decides to follow him. She wears a disguise ( large floppy hat and ridiculously sized sun glasses ).
Usually set in a mall he is strolling around aimlessly and she is trailing him by hiding behind every column in the building and peering through some flowers on a stall.
The camera will jump from him to her for about 10 minutes as the tension builds.
Occasionally she will stop in her tracks and look around, lowering her supersize sunglasses ( because she’s inside and can’t see &hit !) until she spots him again and continues to follow.
The scene climaxes as she loses sight of him for a minute and frantically scurries this way and that until.... bam !!
She runs into him emerging from a store , her sunglasses fall to the ground, his bag of purchases is sent flying and slow motion kicks in as we are given repeated viewings, from different angles, of the “ collision “.
They both crouch down to retrieve his scattered items and look up into each other’s eyes at the same time .............time stands still....... the music changes from the crescendo building chase music to the theme from the love story.............the credits roll !!

[sipi]

Lakorn I can handle from a distance.

"The masked singer" and "I can see your voice" grind me.

 

[paahlman]

Exellent!!! You forgot that the wannabe handsome man in his ferrarri always needs help from his father..!!!

[Kinnock]

5 hours ago, paahlman said:

Exellent!!! You forgot that the wannabe handsome man in his ferrarri always needs help from his father..!!!

That's the part that is closest to reality.

[Enoon]

 

"...... have I missed anything?"

 

There is always someone to be visited in hospital.

 

Any hero or heroine who is "of farming stock" is remarkably untanned and possessed of a perfect, full set of teeth.

 

Lakorn reflect, interpret, re-enforce and seek to both obfuscate and construct the reality of Thai contemporary society.

 

They are valuable documents for the enquiring foreigner to study.

 

 

Edited August 8, 2019 by Enoon

[PatOngo]

On ‎8‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 10:25 PM, Kinnock said:

...... have I missed anything?

Where's the ladyboy????

[Kinnock]

1 hour ago, Enoon said:

 

"...... have I missed anything?"

 

There is always someone to be visited in hospital.

 

Any hero or heroine who is "of farming stock" is remarkably untanned and possessed of a perfect, full set of teeth.

 

Lakorn reflect, interpret, re-enforce and seek to both obfuscate and construct the reality of Thai contemporary society.

 

They are valuable documents for the enquiring foreigner to study.

 

 

Yes - how could I forget the obligatory hospital visit.  And it's always in a private room with a heart monitor beeping in the background.

 

Just once I'd like to see the patient taking a whiz in a bed-pan while the concerned family sits around the bed .... but somehow I doubt this will ever happen.

 

Or perhaps a bed bath for 'Ya Ya' Urassaya Sperbund?

[Speedhump]

This is one of  the most intelligent and creative and fun posts I've seen on TV while I've been following it. I don't watch these soaps (I've no Thai and no Thai wife) but this post is worthy of a gold medal for perspecuity and invention. 

[GinBoy2]

Gay Man

Possibly a Ladyboy as well

Screaming

Mia Noi

Evil Woman (often older MIL)

Good Girl

Face  Slapping

Dramatic Music

Gunfight, nobody ever seems to get hit

Perfect Hair

Hospital Vist

Perfect hair again....in Hospital bed

Bandage around the head...without it appears damaging perfect hair

Guys fighting, keeping perfect hair, and never seeming to get a bruise, accompanied by lots of grunting

In case of injury, slight stream of blood from corner of mouth

More screaming

Face Slapping

Women's clothes, which I've never seen on anyone shopping in Big C

TV House with lots of gaudy gold furniture

Groveling maids 

 

...Oh I forgot add a Porsche or Ferrari, both very popular in Isaan LOL

 

I think that about sums it up

Edited August 8, 2019 by GinBoy2

[sunnyboy2018]

On 8/6/2019 at 6:57 PM, Puchaiyank said:

If you took away their guns and knives...the screaming and slapping...no one would watch...infantile minds feed off this stuff...????

Lighten up. Its a soap opera! And like all soap operas all over the world are trivial but in an odd way reflect some of a nation's culture and values.

[GinBoy2]

7 minutes ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

Lighten up. Its a soap opera! And like all soap operas all over the world are trivial but in an odd way reflect some of a nation's culture and values.

The only difference is that Thai Lakorns are all in primetime. The majority of Western Soaps  air in Daytime TV.

 

Although, Telemundo in US, airs it's fair share of Mexican Telenovela's in Primetime, and they are not a lot different to lakorns

 

Although strangely the breasts and cleavage are a lot, lot bigger! 

[faraday]

A really great thread, makes me chuckle.

 

Often glance over Mrs F's shoulder & see the malarkey she's watching with wide eyes, & me with disbelief. 555

 

Isn't their often an older person, who isn't that old but has had too much make up applied to age them?

 

Sometimes I've seen a fake Chinese person too. I think.

 

 

[GinBoy2]

12 minutes ago, faraday said:

A really great thread, makes me chuckle.

 

Often glance over Mrs F's shoulder & see the malarkey she's watching with wide eyes, & me with disbelief. 555

 

Isn't their often an older person, who isn't that old but has had too much make up applied to age them?

 

Sometimes I've seen a fake Chinese person too. I think.

 

 

I honesty think it's genetic..

 

My wife grew up in the US, college educated, but even when we lived in Singapore, then to Thailand, then on to to US, she still watches the darn things every day.

 

She herself says she doesn't understand her love of Lakorns.

 

This woman works on complex issues of airframe stress issues on B1B bombers, yet still comes home to watch this crap while we eat dinner!

 

Baffling to say the least

[CharlieH]

The "big boss" always has sex with the staff.

The "big boss" tortures/ beats the women

The "big boss" rapes staff

 

Rich guy son wants peasant girl.

 

Handsome guy gets drugged and set-up in bed for photos.

 

Pristine Offices where no work is going on and no papers anywhere !

The token over the top gay guy in every office.

Never any other guests in resorts/hotels.

Beach is always empty.

 

Lead characters usually "lukreung" !

 

 

 

[canuckamuck]

 I don't want to speculate as to what tragic road has brought you guys to know intimately the details of Thai soaps. I suspect I was fortunate to find a lady who never ever watches Thai TV. But this thread is brilliant just the same.

Edited August 9, 2019 by canuckamuck

[Kinnock]

12 minutes ago, canuckamuck said:

 I don't want to speculate as to what tragic road has brought you guys to know intimately the details of Thai soaps. I suspect I was fortunate to find a lady who never ever watches Thai TV. But this thread is brilliant just the same.

We try to not watch it - but it sort of seeps in to your mind.

 

[Gecko123]

Very nice, Kinnock.

[rickudon]

At least 50% of the cast are hi-so, so reflects the true situation in Thailand .....???? .

 

There is never any plastic rubbish on the ground or the beach ....

 

There are no alcoholics, yabba druggies or people with obvious mental issues in the extras. And no dog shit on the ground.

[GinBoy2]

8 hours ago, Kinnock said:

We try to not watch it - but it sort of seeps in to your mind.

 

I think the CIA could adopt Thai Lakorns in their interrogation methods, and the breaking  of terrorist suspects.

Sensory depravation and forced to watch lakorns for days, is enough to break any man.

 

Look at most of us; we're all well 'conditioned' lol