Taking the bar out of the girl...?

[Begs]

Within a mere 4 mths, I have spent my life savings.

Pretty stupid then ain't you..

Maybe she will find a man with some sense now.

What was you planning to do with the rest of your life after spending your lifes savings in 4 Months?

The Trolls get sillier and sillier.

[Bulldog]

I'll have to disagree with some of the posters, I'm married to an ex BG, we have now been married for 11 years, and I'll say 11 good years.

This proves you can take the bar out of the girl, they are not all the same, they are human beings with feelings like us all.

Good for you Sonthaya,

If the truth be known, most of the guys that hang out in Thailand and go to bars will meet someone in a bar, same as if they went to Church they would meet someone that went to Church.

All human beings as you said, in fact i have met some great people in Bars, the worse people i ever met in Bars where certainly not the girls, but some of the Farang that go to them.

[rod_kalashnikov]

 

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Within a mere 4 mths, I have spent my life savings.

Pretty stupid then ain't you..

Maybe she will find a man with some sense now.

What was you planning to do with the rest of your life after spending your lifes savings in 4 Months?

The Trolls get sillier and sillier.

With all due respect Begs old son, I don't think this guy is a troll, neither is he stupid.

They say love is blind, well in his case it made him blind and it could happen to anyone.

Enchanted, I can assure you there are plenty of decent bargirls out there.

I genuinly feel bad for what's happened to you and I hope it hasn't put you off Thailand forever.

Listen to Rod and Sonthaya, they know what they're talking about.

[Khun Larry]

For every guy who says he was scammed by a bargirl, there are ten who tell a different story.

10:1 odds.

What story is that?

One where everyone lives happily ever after?

I better get over to that bar!

[Begs]

As someone said earlier..............................

If you do not want to meet bar girls, do not go to bars.

[Ijustwannateach]

^A corollary to the above- if you don't want to date prostitutes- don't pay them!

If they say the buffalo is dead- don't pay them!

If the cousin's sick- don't pay them!

If they need money for a family funeral- don't pay them!

If they want a house- don't pay them!

Especially if they don't have a 'real' job- don't pay them!

Thais can get jobs just as easily (perhaps more easily here) than we can! There's no excuse not to try to get a job if you need money, whether you're a Thai or a farang. Now, if your Thai gf has some sudden serious REAL problem, like an accident that requires immediate medical care, nobody could blame you for trying to help out. But otherwise, excepting legitimate reasonably-priced dating expenses (meals, movies) or shared homemaking expenses (furniture, bills, childcare) don't pay them!

Might take a bit of self-restraint, and might make the world a bit more "real" for you- how many 20 yos are REALLY looking to date 40-somethings? But you'll get a real partner eventually if you just don't pay them.

"Steven"

[pnustedt]

If you want to live in a Thai community and you have money and they don't - you pay.

For "self restraint" read cheap Charlie!

[Ijustwannateach]

Most of the successful partnerships I've known about in LOS were between someone who already had a job and someone else who already had a job. Preferably both jobs not in bars, tourist restaurants, tourist hair salons, or other somewhat dodgy places.

If you want the typical "wife stays at home while I work" model, then the wife had better be doing the housework and cooking too- none of this "maid-managing" BS.

Just one guy's opinion.

"Steven"

[Begs]

how many 20 yos are REALLY looking to date 40-somethings? But you'll get a real partner eventually if you just don't pay them.

"Steven"

What...........like if a 40 something guy, ignored his 20 something Gf long enough, she would go away, then he could meet a woman his own age?

Why would he do that?

Listen lads, if you got the money, have a good time.

Mick Jagger is 0ver 60, i don't see him swatting the 21 year old models aside, to get at her 60 year old Grandmother.

But then again, Mick Jagger was never an English Teacher struggling to make ends meet in Thailand. I bet he is well pissed off about that.

[pnustedt]

Most of the successful partnerships I've known about in LOS .

Most of the successful relationships that I know about in LOS have started in a bar.

I have avoided work place relationships like the plague - having seen the many problems created by them.

[Ijustwannateach]

Hey, I'm just pointing out what seems obvious to me- if you have a PAID "girlfriend," I don't see the point of whinging about how greedy/ ungrateful/ dependent/ lazy/ whorish/ unladylike/ uncaring/ [insert your favorite unfavorable adjective about paid "girlfriends" here] they are. They didn't sign on for the feelings (though feelings can develop, I'm sure). They signed on for the money. Get a clue.

As Begs says, if you wanna younger girl who likes money and you got the money, have a good time, but don't come cryin' later that "she doesn't love meeeeeeee!"

Incidentally, Begs, my advice applies at all economic levels, even for English teachers.

Pnus, you don't have to meet girls with jobs in the SAME PLACE you work- that *would* be a bad idea.

"Steven"

[NoAjarn]

no offence ijwt, but isnt this subject a bit out of ur league

[Ijustwannateach]

Nope! Don't have to be playing the field to have an opinion of the runners!

[plachon]

If you want to live in a Thai community and you have money and they don't - you pay.

For "self restraint" read cheap Charlie!

Pay who? and for what?

If you live in a Thai community and stump up money every time one of the neighbours/rellies has a "sick buffalo" to cure, you'll be amazingly popular (at least in front of your face) and pretty quickly skint. It takes more than being a soft touch with your dosh to live successfully in a Thai community. Being a "cheap charlie" can sometimes be the better long term approach to take, so long as your fair and consistent.

[medicinebox]

Just a tip on knowing how much to give them for their "love" in return.

Figure out how much you want to pay per day. Then the amount of days you want to spend with them.

Then everytime you give them some money, write it on a calender to keep check. So if you want to give 350bht a day, then give her 3500, and that should shut her up for 10 days. This can have the added advantage of you actually owing them money if you piss off early or have a row.

Works for me.

My mate used to have a price in mind of 1000bht. He would then take them for breakfast the next morning. He would have a basic breakfast, then they (greedy ones) would order this and that and the other. He would pay the check bin with a 1000bht note. When the waitress brought the change back, he would slide it over to her with a nice smile.

Points to note:

A.) She just bought a customer breakfast.

B.) She wishes she hadn't ordered sooo much food.

Its also a good way to see what they are like. Although the clever ones will know this already, and decline breakfast.

[Khun Larry]

I'll have to disagree with some of the posters, I'm married to an ex BG, we have now been married for 11 years, and I'll say 11 good years.

This proves you can take the bar out of the girl, they are not all the same, they are human beings with feelings like us all.

Good to hear. Seems like you have been very lucky, indeed.

Against some very long odds.

Chookdee

[pnustedt]

Pay who? and for what?

Depends on your resources and the obvious needs of the community.

If you live next door to a guy who has cataracts and is blind as a result and the cost of surgery is not gonna hurt your wallet - you pay (the hospital for surgery).

If you live in a small village with a lot of old people who need to attend a clinic and you own the only transport - you pay (for the petrol and incidentals, maybe even buy lunch for the old folk).

If someone wants a spurious amount for a fictional sick buffaloe of course you shut your wallet.

Everyone decides on their own circumstances and the circumstances of the community - personally I don't want to live in Thailand because I want a cheap life but because I love the people and feel that I can make a difference.

[Ijustwannateach]

^Charity, family, and dating are different things. If I have extra income, it goes into the latter two options first (assuming I'm not attached to anyone presently). But money for dating means dinners and movies, not paying for someone's life. If I'm close enough to someone, their family becomes my family- but that takes a good bit of time and commitment. And once again, if they're not bringing any income home, they'd better be cleaning, cooking, taking care of children, and doing other things to make sure they're pulling their own weight.

Extra money AFTER that goes to the old man's cataracts, sure- but personally, it'll be some time before I have *that* much extra money- and I'd rather pay for his grandchildren to go to school.

"Steven"

[ThaiGirlTeen]

Extra money AFTER that goes to the old man's cataracts, sure- but personally, it'll be some time before I have *that* much extra money- and I'd rather pay for his grandchildren to go to school.

"Steven"

Are you a Teacher in Thailand ?

If so, you will never have to worry about having extra money for anything.

[Ijustwannateach]

I'm a teacher and I'm secure about it- also pretty sure that despite the attempts to derail the topic that it's not "teachers are poor." Go troll someone else.

[Begs]

I'm a teacher and I'm secure

So what do you do for money then?

[Ijustwannateach]

Sorry, believe that post is off-topic.

[KIA]

This storey is not only true on Thailand. In any land, you will never able to take the bar out of the girl. There are exceptional, will you be the lucky one?

[chonabot]

Aye , Lucky man am I

[Elliot]

Within a mere 4 mths, I have spent my life savings and lost my dignity while being with her...brought her out of her "trade", rented an apt in Bangkok, flown in every week to be with her, spent my money to make her happy and to provide for her and her family...

you've got the whole situation distorted to fit your own degrading view of women...if you were giving her money so you could fly in every week to see her, you were paying her to be there waiting to satisy you when you wanted her to...why would you expect her to feel loyal to you? you set the standard that you then became unhappy with...i talk to so many women who have farang men who say "i love you" then give them 10,000 baht a month to live on and expect them to wait for them to come back whenever they feel like it... most of the men are guys who couldnt get laid in their own countries and come here to buy "love" and then expect it to be sincere..."spend money to make her happy", or spend money to buy a grilfriend since i cant find one any other way?...give me a break!