Wife Has Problem With Motorcycle Driver

[ZhangYimou]

there are three or four motorcycle drivers who service our apartment on a quiet soi. they do not wear the orange jackets, and I assume they pay money to service our apartment. we've never had a problem with any of them. last night my wife goes downstairs, however she is going in a different direction and wants to take a taxi. She says that the lesbian motorcycle driver then made a string of very nasty comments about her to the other motorcycle driver. Now she says that we have to move and she is very angry that someone she doesnt know and has never wronged would speak in such a way with her. Hearing this, I do not feel too comfortable on the back of a motorcycle with someone who might hate my guts for reasons unknown. As we live on a quiet soi, it would be quite hard for us to ignore or avoid her. It usually takes 5-10 minutes to get a taxi, and doing so everytime we want to go out is going to be a nightmare.

I suppose she could try to smooth things over with her... but when one person is so irrational how well can you smooth things over? It is not as though my wife did anything to provoke this.

Do you have any suggestions?

[endure]

Is the fact that one of the motorcycle drivers is a lesbian pertinent to your query in any way?

[kratindaeng]

there are three or four motorcycle drivers who service our apartment on a quiet soi. they do not wear the orange jackets, and I assume they pay money to service our apartment. we've never had a problem with any of them. last night my wife goes downstairs, however she is going in a different direction and wants to take a taxi. She says that the lesbian motorcycle driver then made a string of very nasty comments about her to the other motorcycle driver. Now she says that we have to move and she is very angry that someone she doesnt know and has never wronged would speak in such a way with her. Hearing this, I do not feel too comfortable on the back of a motorcycle with someone who might hate my guts for reasons unknown. As we live on a quiet soi, it would be quite hard for us to ignore or avoid her. It usually takes 5-10 minutes to get a taxi, and doing so everytime we want to go out is going to be a nightmare.

I suppose she could try to smooth things over with her... but when one person is so irrational how well can you smooth things over? It is not as though my wife did anything to provoke this.

Do you have any suggestions?

Stick and stones...tell your wife people speak bad words sometimes, but she wants to move just because she heard a few bad words from a lesbian on a motorbike? Tell her its ok, dont listen to lesbian moto-cyc chicks and if need be, carry a stun gun should you/her/both worry.

KD

[kratindaeng]

there are three or four motorcycle drivers who service our apartment on a quiet soi. they do not wear the orange jackets, and I assume they pay money to service our apartment. we've never had a problem with any of them. last night my wife goes downstairs, however she is going in a different direction and wants to take a taxi. She says that the lesbian motorcycle driver then made a string of very nasty comments about her to the other motorcycle driver. Now she says that we have to move and she is very angry that someone she doesnt know and has never wronged would speak in such a way with her. Hearing this, I do not feel too comfortable on the back of a motorcycle with someone who might hate my guts for reasons unknown. As we live on a quiet soi, it would be quite hard for us to ignore or avoid her. It usually takes 5-10 minutes to get a taxi, and doing so everytime we want to go out is going to be a nightmare.

I suppose she could try to smooth things over with her... but when one person is so irrational how well can you smooth things over? It is not as though my wife did anything to provoke this.

Do you have any suggestions?

Stick and stones...tell your wife people speak bad words sometimes, but she wants to move just because she heard a few bad words from a lesbian on a motorbike? Tell her its ok, dont listen to lesbian moto-cyc chicks and if need be, carry a stun gun should you/her/both worry.

KD

Actually, thinking about it, purchase a cheap motorbike helmet from Big C and attach a Cucumber on top of it, next time you both go out, it is bound to scare em.

KD

[ZhangYimou]

well, if a girl is sitting on the side of a motorcycle wearing a dress, and the person driving it hates her for some reason... this might not be a good idea. She is also four times the size of my wife.

[kratindaeng]

well, if a girl is sitting on the side of a motorcycle wearing a dress, and the person driving it hates her for some reason... this might not be a good idea. She is also four times the size of my wife.

Buy a motorbike and shut up moaning

[qwertz]

well, if a girl is sitting on the side of a motorcycle wearing a dress, and the person driving it hates her for some reason... this might not be a good idea. She is also four times the size of my wife.

I would move to a farang neighbourhood. In my experience they live and let live and make good neighbours.

[cdnvic]

How crazy is it to pick up and move to a new neighbourhood over the comments of one motorcycle taxi driver? Keep this up and you'll spend your life constantly on the run from the latest nasty look.

Tell your wife that sometimes people can be b*tches and a*seholes, and this is just a fact of life you have to deal with. Chances are the maker of this alleged comment has already forgotten the incident, and it's time both of you let it go too.

Moving over a snide remark.... this is unbelievable.

[November Rain]

Did you hear the remarks? Is it in any way possible that the situation is the other way around & that your wife has taken a dislike to the m'bike driver? I mean, one of the first things you say is that she's a lesbian. Firstly, how do you know? Does she look a bit butch? I have short hair & when I'm working I probably look less than femininine, but that doesn't alter my sexual orientation. Secondly, why should her sexual orientation make any difference? Does it affect her ability to drive a m'bike taxi? Or does it make her more likely to make rude comments?

As a woman, I think there's more to this than you've been told. There obviously is something "upsetting", but I'm wondering if your wife has as much to do with the unpleasantness, as the driver does. Would it be beyond the realms of possibility that a few b!tchy remarks have been made by your wife, also?

As for moving, that's ridiculous. We all meet up with people we don't like. Get a taxi's number & call them when you want to go out, if you don't want to use the bikes anymore.

[swanks]

Did you hear the remarks? Is it in any way possible that the situation is the other way around & that your wife has taken a dislike to the mobile driver? I mean, one of the first things you say is that she's a lesbian. Firstly, how do you know? Does she look a bit butch? I have short hair & when I'm working I probably look less than feminine, but that doesn't alter my sexual orientation. Secondly, why should her sexual orientation make any difference? Does it affect her ability to drive a motorbike taxi? Or does it make her more likely to make rude comments?

As a woman, I think there's more to this than you've been told. There obviously is something "upsetting", but I'm wondering if your wife has as much to do with the unpleasantness, as the driver does. Would it be beyond the realms of possibility that a few b!tech remarks have been made by your wife, also?

As for moving, that's ridiculous. We all meet up with people we don't like. Get a taxi's number & call them when you want to go out, if you don't want to use the bikes anymore.

The 'Tom's' here don't hide the fact at all . Haven't you noticed ?

It's pretty apparent if a person adopts that life and they almost advertise the fact.

Basically , there seems to be no political correctness in Thailand ( Thank Buddha ) and a Dyke can be easily identified by most Thais .

A woman with short hair is generally considered to be a butch lesbian here as apposed to the "Dee' ( her partner), who appears very feminine.

No big deal to most of us !

The fact that the person is a tom is relevant as the wife does not wish to get into a fight with her and is a little timid . Toms do adopt many male attributes in my observation , so can be a bit loud and aggressive sometimes . They do , however, seem to be good drivers as they seem to balance assertiveness with caution very well.

Sort of 'ying with yang ' really I suppose !

If you can ride a full sized motorbike you will know what I mean !

That's just the way it is!

My own advice to the OP would be to sleep on the problem !

Things have a way of working themselves out , I have found!

Edited March 25, 2007 by swanks

[brahmburgers]

I'm a single farang living in the country with Thai neighbors on all sides. None of them like me, but they have all come to grudgingly tolerate me. It's good I don't understand Thai - because I'm sure many of the things they say about me are awful. As a Buddhist, I try to get to a point where nothing will offend me - a sort of non-attachment to attitudes/words.

The reason my Thai neighbors don't like me (actually some love me, but that's not as fun to write about) is that I call them on their sh_t - like spraying toxins, allowing prickly weeks to grow way over the fences, incessant barking dogs, throwing trash everywhere, playing very loud radio - and the many other things that Thais normally do.

By being ballsy, I've shown them I'm not going to roll over and try to accept all their cr_ppy ways of being. ...and it's had positive results - in the sense that they're not so blatantly offensive.

Someone reading this might wonder why I continue to reside here ....good question, and one which we could discuss sometime.

[JacknDanny]

I'm a single farang living in the country with Thai neighbors on all sides. None of them like me, but they have all come to grudgingly tolerate me. It's good I don't understand Thai - because I'm sure many of the things they say about me are awful. As a Buddhist, I try to get to a point where nothing will offend me - a sort of non-attachment to attitudes/words.

The reason my Thai neighbors don't like me (actually some love me, but that's not as fun to write about) is that I call them on their sh_t - like spraying toxins, allowing prickly weeks to grow way over the fences, incessant barking dogs, throwing trash everywhere, playing very loud radio - and the many other things that Thais normally do.

By being ballsy, I've shown them I'm not going to roll over and try to accept all their cr_ppy ways of being. ...and it's had positive results - in the sense that they're not so blatantly offensive.

Someone reading this might wonder why I continue to reside here ....good question, and one which we could discuss sometime.

I guess it comes down to the area you live in???

I live in a Thai area and none of the traits you decribe above are present.

Same as England, you live on a council estate in Gorton and you will find a different class of person than say in a more affluent area.

As to the OP I tend to agree with NR. Maybe the Mrs had said something or it has been an ongoing situation. Certainly not one to force you to move.

Just tell the Mrs to ignore it. What do you think, that the bikers are suddenly going to become suicide bikers??

[faranggl]

Be careful. This driver could be a sanstransbian ( a man trying to look like a woman who wants to be a man. They are known as the 'fourth sex' and are often dangerous gang members.

I suggest an apology and a large tip ASAP. Better to make a friend than lose an apartment.

[November Rain]

The 'Tom's' here don't hide the fact at all . Haven't you noticed ?

No, actually I don't think I have. Can't think why, maybe I just have better things to do with my time than try to guess people's sexual orientation or judge them on it.

And you are judging this woman on the strength of the "lesbian" comment made by OP. You are judging that she would be violent enough to get into a fight with OP's wife. On what basis? That she's big & judged to be a lesbian? I'm 5'8" and about 68kg with short hair. Does that make me violent? Or a "Tom"? Make me more loud & aggressive? Actually, I'm heterosexual & just don't have the time or inclination to "primp" all the time. I'm also a kind, non-violent person. How do you know that this driver isn't exactly the same as me? Have you met her?

[soundman]

The 'Tom's' here don't hide the fact at all . Haven't you noticed ?

No, actually I don't think I have. Can't think why, maybe I just have better things to do with my time than try to guess people's sexual orientation or judge them on it.

And you are judging this woman on the strength of the "lesbian" comment made by OP. You are judging that she would be violent enough to get into a fight with OP's wife. On what basis? That she's big & judged to be a lesbian? I'm 5'8" and about 68kg with short hair. Does that make me violent? Or a "Tom"? Make me more loud & aggressive? Actually, I'm heterosexual & just don't have the time or inclination to "primp" all the time. I'm also a kind, non-violent person. How do you know that this driver isn't exactly the same as me? Have you met her?

The OP did make the commment that the female mc taxi driver made " a string of nasty comments" to the other mc taxi drivers. Unless provoked, most "nice" people don't let fly with verbal abuse & ridicule.

Somehow - I think there is more to this story than the OP has offered up.

Cheers,

Soundman.

[swanks]

The 'Tom's' here don't hide the fact at all . Haven't you noticed ?

No, actually I don't think I have. Can't think why, maybe I just have better things to do with my time than try to guess people's sexual orientation or judge them on it.

And you are judging this woman on the strength of the "lesbian" comment made by OP. You are judging that she would be violent enough to get into a fight with OP's wife. On what basis? That she's big & judged to be a lesbian? I'm 5'8" and about 68kg with short hair. Does that make me violent? Or a "Tom"? Make me more loud & aggressive? Actually, I'm heterosexual & just don't have the time or inclination to "primp" all the time. I'm also a kind, non-violent person. How do you know that this driver isn't exactly the same as me? Have you met her?

I thought you would rise nicely , like!

I do hope you realise that sometimes I enjoy a 'tongue in cheek ' humor and mean no offence.

From my own observation, experience of Thai people and Thai culture I have found that not many Thai girls want fat farangs rubbing there reproductive organs on there <deleted> in the course of there employment.

Then again , I did once visit the pussy pussy a go go and noted a certain willing nature of the employees to engage in that sort of thing.

I think they earned rather more than a motor driver though , now I think of it!

I am assuming you are not in fact Thai .

Am I right on this , dear lady , as you seem so 'Western ' for some reason.?

I , therefor , can't quit grasp the relevance of your comments about your self . Unless there is some sort of hidden agenda or 'axe to grind ' in your post. As for judging someone on there sexuality how many of the posters would risk picking up the soap in the gym shower room on 'Boys town ' night?

If someone is open and honist in there sexuality then that is a healthy thing, I believe , and one of the things I love about Thailand is the open freedom to be what you are.

But as the old UK saying goes...

'If it looks like sh*t'

'Smells like sh*t'

'And taists like sh*t'

'It might as well BE sh*t"

I just love the attitude in this country where a Dyke or Tom feels free to pursue happiness without social censure . Indeed a senior cashere in the BK and P hospital is a 'lady boy' and no one cares.

Since you started commenting on your demeanor and dress in this post might I then comment that if , indeed as you say , you ware your hair short . Don't use makeup and dress in a non feminine way , No one will care .But the Thais will think you are a Tom.

Your choice exactly, before you say it and indeed , none of my business.

I am merely pointing out that amongst Thai people a person like that is giving out certain signals and the Taxi driver girl would seem to be a Tom.

Tom lesbians sometimes seem to overcompensate to try and 'out bloke' real men and this might be the reason for the encounter.

On the other hand she could be a secret government spy assessing the acceptance of gay equality but I always think the simplest explanation is usually the right one !

Don't you ?

On the matter of trying to guess sexual orientation . Have you read the works of Fraud or Dr Desmond Morris on human sexuality?

We are not quit so far above the rest of the animal species as many would like to think and searching for a mate and the equipment to do it ( Orafactory , hind-brain capacity ext) uses a lot of our resources for good reason !

So , my dear Lady, shall we be seeing you prancing about in a dress from now on ?

Edited March 25, 2007 by swanks

[sbk]

Mind your manners swanks. Personal attacks are against forum rules.

Besides, the point of the entire post is how to deal with the taxi driver, not the drivers sexuality or another posters.

Lets keep it on topic and drop the personal stuff.

[ZhangYimou]

would it take much more for her to speed up, turn and stop short to throw my wife infront of an on coming vehicle?

i am moving to a place located closer to the bts. motorcycles taxis are a bad idea regardless of this incident.

[cdnvic]

Be careful. This driver could be a sanstransbian ( a man trying to look like a woman who wants to be a man. They are known as the 'fourth sex' and are often dangerous gang members.

I suggest an apology and a large tip ASAP. Better to make a friend than lose an apartment.

I was wondering how long it would take someone to have visions of gangs, mafia, and suggest dropping to your knees and begging for mercy.

Some people watch too much TV and listen to too many "I heard of a guy who..." bar stories.

[swanks]

Mind your manners swanks. Personal attacks are against forum rules.

Besides, the point of the entire post is how to deal with the taxi driver, not the drivers sexuality or another posters.

Lets keep it on topic and drop the personal stuff.

My dear Sir

Please read my words again , I made no attack on the Lady and indeed am offended that you would think that of me !

I mearly commented on her comments about my reasons for making the suggestions I did to try and comfort the original poster!

I think I made it quit clear it was all in fun !

The comment about the moto drivers sexuality was made in the original post and therefor relevant to the situation and indeed gives insight into the fear felt by the mans wife as she might believe a male moto driver would not physically attack her but a 'Tom' might!

Perhaps you might explain to me how you construed that to be a personal attack or 'off topic'!

Edited March 25, 2007 by swanks

[Hampstead]

In bkk when bike taxis run the rule on a small soi where taxis rarely are, then bike taxis feel they are in charge and this altercation with your wife and a bike taxi can easily happen as other bike taxis in the group will watch or listen then stick together for whatever reason. there is good and bad in every bike taxi group but when one of them chooses to single someone out, they all begin to single that person out.

Its a fact of life living in bkk in these kind of sois, you have to choose whether it is just harmlous verbal snidy comments for which you and wife can put up with or whether you feel that it is becoming more and more personnel and viscious for which may make you guys feel uncomfortable enough to move.

Just give the place more time and see whether this altercation blows away into thin air or not.

[swanks]

would it take much more for her to speed up, turn and stop short to throw my wife infront of an on coming vehicle?

i am moving to a place located closer to the bts. motorcycles taxis are a bad idea regardless of this incident.

I know the Thais can be strange sometimes but I really don't think that's likely, Honestly and you are just worrying a bit!

Try to get it in context and step back from it and I think things will look better!

Don't forget the ex-patts are a 'clannish' lot here overall , so you are not by your self.

[Alf Witt]

ZY, I see my prediction about your having a tough time in life unless you become more tolerant is coming true already. I think the posters who discern that either you or your wife (or both) have provoked this situation by your attitude are spot on.

You would do well to review the responses of others, older and wiser, to your posts on the other issue (see below). I think you will find that the answer lies there and within yourself if you choose to open your mind. Good luck. (typos edited)

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...p;#entry1216605

ZY, did you read in this thread my earlier message to you about generalisations? You have not responded to that.

What's this "I think we can all agree" nonsense? Have you failed to detect that a large number of people do not agree with you? Are you living in some sort of state of self delusion? I pity you with your narrowminded outlook. So far in your posts on this topic you have been dismayed, vomiting, crying, depressed and in pain. You will have a tough time in life if you don't get a little wiser and more tolerant. Oh, and by the way, the old men who "aren't dead yet" have survived to reach that status. they have been there, seen it and done it. Has is occured to you that you have no guarantee of doing the same? You are probably relatively young, but to be frank, you are more of an "old fart" than the majority of elderly posters here. Also it sounds suspiciously like you are not getting enough, for whatever reason.

Edited March 25, 2007 by Alf Witt

[A_Traveller]

Whilst I'm sorry to hear of the OP's position, I have to say given his invective laden posts herein, if that is a fair representation of his approach in the analogue, I can see why he and those around him could have problems.

Often issues are best resolved looking inwards first and then outwards.

Regards

[qwertz]

Surprise 'em, ZY, invite 'em to share a bottle of Mekong with you and talk about Thai music and your problem will dissolve. You'll make a whole new bunch of friends from the lower social strata and you'll learn how the other half lives. PM me on how to make friends and influence people, or for that matter PM anyone; you urgently need advice on the subject.

[Hampstead]

would it take much more for her to speed up, turn and stop short to throw my wife infront of an on coming vehicle?

i am moving to a place located closer to the bts. motorcycles taxis are a bad idea regardless of this incident.

Do how you feel to make your life more comfortable living here in thailand

some soi's are lucky with having relaxed bike taxis, other soi's, especially a few in and around ding daeng and ratchada have some of the worst bike taxis running these sort of soi's.

its not just foreigners who feel sometimes uncomfortable, many thais do exactly this if they feel any sense of feeling uncomfortable in these kind of condos in quiet sois.

Usually the decision on feeling comfortable is done on looking around new places to live and how the area looks and feels before making any decision on moving in and signing any contracts.

That is why it is always better to stay closer to better forms of transport in bkk if you havnt your own transport.

[bkkmadness]

Am I right this thread involves someone who is scared a lesbian moto taxi will assassinate their girlfriend?

If so, please pass me the crack pipe.

Edited March 25, 2007 by bkkmadness

[November Rain]

Am I right this thread involves someone who is scared a lesbian moto taxi will assassinate their girlfriend?

If so, please pass me the crack pipe.

Seems so. And there's even a couple of idiots that are agreeing with him! Can you pass it to me, when you're finished?

[qwertz]

Am I right this thread involves someone who is scared a lesbian moto taxi will assassinate their girlfriend?

If so, please pass me the crack pipe.

Seems so. And there's even a couple of idiots that are agreeing with him! Can you pass it to me, when you're finished?

Wasn't me, I'm quite lucid. I thought it was about a lady having trouble with a motorcycle and being heckled by a lesbian neighbour with a partner nursing hangups over weird old farangs. I was about to offer technical advice. Sorry, wrong thread. After you with the pipe.

[Furbie]

Gotta side with your woman on this one. Basically, she is now uncomfortable everytime she comes home or goes out- who wants to live this way? As you said it is a small soi, I am assuming there are few transportation options. Bacially, the motos are her means of leaving the area. In my first BK apartment, I had issues with the mototaxis across the street. I have no idea what started it, but in the end, it was better to move than continue to deal with it. In my case, there were taxis that went by, by everytime I stood in front of the building I was harrassed by these guys – it would have been far worse if they were my only means of leaving my neighborhood. If you own the place, that is different and I could understand staying; but having to deal with this issue everytime you enter and leave the building for a rental? This is a key reason I live within walking distance of mass transit.