3 Jokes

Work is like...

Tree Of Monkeys

A company is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs, at different levels, some climbing up, some climbing down.

The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but <deleted>.

A foot and a C*** are having a chat one evening. The foot says to the C*** "Jesus I had a bad night last night. Some bastard shoved a stinkin' smelly sock on me, a worn out shoe with holes in it and walked me around town in the rain and mud all night"

The C*** says to the foot, "You think you had a bad night. Some bastard shoved a raincoat over me head and made me do push ups till I threw me guts up”

ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas.

ARROGANT FART= When you think your farts don't stink.

ASSUALT FART= A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse.

TIRE FART= You can't control the blow out.

BEER FARTS= These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer.

JAIL FART= Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape.

DONKEY FART= Your ass is the only one that can do it.

GHOST FART= You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it.

HOME ALONE FART= When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one.

SHOE FART= When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes.

TANK FART= When you refer to your farts as 'gas'.

OLD FART= You know how old it is by how bad it smells.

BRAIN FART= You need to fart, but nothing comes out.

ALZHEIMER FART= A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp.

NOT-ME FART= When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!"

U.F.O. FART= When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".