How to live with Isaan wife in respect of culture

[amykat]

3 minutes ago, Yinn said:

 

You lost money your divorce right? To caucasion guy right?

 

Sound like you want him to fail. 

i wish him good luck and happy life.

One life, be happy one.

OMG, quite the opposite, I think he could be vulnerable and I want him to succeed and not get taken advantage of.  See how Thais and Westerners think totally opposite and misunderstandings occur all the time????????

[Skallywag]

27 minutes ago, Elzear said:

 

And what are you trying to say ? Do not mix with the natives, don’t feed the birds, go back to where you come from ? And what if, in their own world, they are happy for some difference ? I have talked to many people who’s languages I didn’t know, through signs, expressions, mimics, and the result when we understand each other is laughter and happiness. No need to have lengthy debates. Just present day chats. The rest follows

Your attitude and story is very refreshing and very positive.  You will enjoy your life here

Regards

 

[Yinn]

1 minute ago, amykat said:

This is Yinn trying to misdirect you with smoke and mirrors, and also make everything the foreigner’s fault.

What i say his “fault” ?

where? 

 

 

1 minute ago, amykat said:

 Most Thais are very prejudiced against Issan people,

 

Hmmmm. Sound like you prejudiced against Issan people.

and thai people, especially thai woman. 

You live USA right?

 

1 minute ago, amykat said:

 

but she is happy if farangs marry the poorest Issan people.  

If happy why not? You marry rich guy or poor guy before? 

 

 

1 minute ago, amykat said:

 

Then she elevated them above you ...it will be your fault if there is a divorce due to your bad attitude.

My fault for divorce? 55555555

 

 

1 minute ago, amykat said:

 

Not due to the many, many problems we have seen/experienced/read about plaguing many poor families, the lack of education, the differences in thinking, etc.

I think most people happy. Depend the attitude.

Some people have money, but not happy right?

[Lacessit]

Don't try to change your wife and her family, because you won't. Only give any financial support to your wife - anyone else, tell them to see your wife. Definitely learn to speak Thai. You will get a lot of mileage if you can make jokes in Thai. Respect their customs. Some may look stupid to us, but they all have a purpose.

At the same time, set your own boundaries. There are things you will and won't do, and make it clear what they are.

My Thai GF is a very good cook, and I have taught her a couple of Western dishes. She knows there are some Thai delicacies I won't eat, such as som tam plaa and frogs. I've seen where they grow the frogs.

Good luck. However, unless you have eardrums of steel, in a Thai village your main source of entertainment will be the internet and Thai Visa. You could learn to play pa som sip, the Thai national card game.

 

 

[Gecko123]

4 hours ago, Elzear said:

Thank you. My previous married life was with a Japanese lady. Twenty years of comfort and accepting each other’s differences. It ended. No comment, if I may. I like the rural life of Isaan, remote from the masses. My future in-laws have welcomed me in their home. I still feel that it is more complex to assimilate than it was with my ex Japanese family. Most certainly learning Thai is a must

Let me just say this. I know a little bit about Japanese culture having worked for a US subsidiary of a Japanese company for 13 years, studied the language, visited the country once, and read extensively about Japanese culture and the aftermath of the economic bubble. Thailand is a completely different kettle of fish. For all the experience you claim to have being around poor people, to my ear you sound extremely naive about the realities of poverty and the lengths to which some people will go in order to try and escape it. My advice would be to take things really slow, especially in the 'get married - buy land - build house' department. Time is an absolute necessity in order to assess people's true character here. If one lacks language skills, double, triple or quadruple the amount of time needed to make a realistic assessment of what is going on around you.

Edited October 24, 2019 by Gecko123

[Pilotman]

29 minutes ago, RedPill said:

It's kind of funny ...  it all reminds me, it's 15 years ago I was reading all of this in that book and people are still discussing the same things and topics as of today ...

 

I guess it's the never ending story and circle of Thai / Farang relationships ????

 

 

 

Nothing new under the sun, or in LOS. 

[RedPill]

21 minutes ago, amykat said:

Most Thais are very prejudiced against Issan people, but she is happy if farangs marry the poorest Issan people.  Then she elevated them above you ...it will be your fault if there is a divorce due to your bad attitude.

lol, never take relationship advise from a woman ????

 

You are right, I also have see this before with a girl. Got University degree, but didn't want to work for money. 

 

Many times I could sense in her talk that she definitely looked down to Isaan people (she came from somewhere up North, Phitsanulok)

 

One time we had a beer in a pub and she asked the waitress how much she get's. She answered 7k per month.

 

Oh that's very good, her response. I looked at her in disbelieve and said you are crazy, you spend this without a blink or any care in the world in 2-3 days, and that with other peoples money, since you don't work!

 

-> "Yeah, but she has no education! So 7k is a good salary for these people" 

 

Really, wannabie Thai hi-so's b1tch. Run when you see them 5555

 

Education definitely has a high valued and a defined place in Thai society and the ones who got it, as lazy and as much of a rotten personality they have, they look down on fellow Thai's without education, specifically Isaan. No doubt about it.

 

 

 

 

Edited October 24, 2019 by RedPill

[SteveK]

This mindset is not unique to Thailand.

[Yinn]

21 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

 they know who loves and respects them and who does not.. 

Yes. Is called “jing jai”.

the most important one for thai people.

if you not jing jai, you will fail.

[sirineou]

2 hours ago, puchooay said:

We bought land and built in my wife's village. I am on first name terms with in laws, aunts, uncles, cousins.

 

Never had any problems. Never get called "Farang". I have shown respect to them from day 1 and received it back.

 

21 years and happy as ever.

Same here, we live 15 min away, Go to mom's house almost every day when  we are in Thailand, or they come over. 

my name is Sativ (steve LOL) not farang, farang is what I am not my name.

  Father in law passed away unexpectedly a couple of years ago, we went out for dinner the night before and he was fine, would not get out of bed next day, We took him to the hospital and he never came back. Miss him terribly. Mom passed away a couple of years later(a few months ago) Pop and Mom were two peas in a pod, always together, always arguing but never apart, After pop passed away Mom (was on dialysis) gave up, then a few months ago refused treatment and wanted to go home , a few days later she died . Very Sad.

Thailand is not the same without them.

Sister (wonderful girl) and brother in law (great guy) still there so are aunts , auncles, cousins ets. We always go places together. 

 

To those who say, stay away from the family , I feel sorry for them, they are missing on the best part of Thailand.

[SteveK]

3 minutes ago, Yinn said:

Yes. Is called “jing jai”.

the most important one for thai people.

if you not jing jai, you will fail.

Fail at what?

[RedPill]

19 minutes ago, SteveK said:

This mindset is not unique to Thailand.

But the difference in classes here weight much more!

 

Similar to when I want to drive a Mercedes back home, I call a taxi.

 

Here it's top end of high society ... and the uneducated, or lower class, don't know how much deeper they have to bow down in front of them. 

 

Edited October 24, 2019 by RedPill

[NanLaew]

24 minutes ago, amykat said:

OMG, quite the opposite, I think he could be vulnerable and I want him to succeed and not get taken advantage of.  See how Thais and Westerners think totally opposite and misunderstandings occur all the time????????

Yes, but you're playing away from home.

 

And already losing.

[NanLaew]

18 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

48 minutes ago, RedPill said:

It's kind of funny ...  it all reminds me, it's 15 years ago I was reading all of this in that book and people are still discussing the same things and topics as of today ...

 

I guess it's the never ending story and circle of Thai / Farang relationships ????

 

 

 

Nothing new under the sun, or in LOS. 

Cue the 'Private Dancer' reading recommendation.

[Yinn]

 

6 minutes ago, RedPill said:

 

Many times I could sense in her talk that she definitely looked down to Isaan people (she came from somewhere up North, Phitsanulok)

What she think about south people?

 

 

6 minutes ago, RedPill said:

One time we had a beer in a pub and she asked the waitress how much she get's. She answered 7k per month.

 

Oh that's very good, her response. I looked at her in disbelieve and said you are crazy, you spend this without a blink or any care in the world in 2-3 days, and that with other peoples money, since you don't work!

How she have money if not work????

 

6 minutes ago, RedPill said:

 

-> "Yeah, but she has no education! So 7k is a good salary for these people" 

A bit low. Normal for job like that one.

 

6 minutes ago, RedPill said:

 

Really, wannabie Thai hi-so's b1tch. Run when you see them 5555

 

Education definitely has a high valued and a defined place in Thai society and the ones who got it, as lazy and as much of a rotten personality they have,

 

 

All uni grad is like that?????? 

 

 

6 minutes ago, RedPill said:

 

they look down on fellow Thai's without education, specifically Isaan. No doubt about it.

 

You do know many Issan people have high education right? 

Mahasarakam and Khon Kaen big university. Engineer, doctor, lawyer etc

 

So you theory. Does the Issan uni graduate “look down” on central person only finish Matayom.

Do they look down on each other? 55555

[SteveK]

3 minutes ago, Yinn said:

You do know many Issan people have high education right? 

There are also people in Nigeria with PhDs. So what?

[Yinn]

12 minutes ago, SteveK said:

Fail at what?

Fail with wife. Fail make friends. Fail life in thailand. 

 

[RedPill]

11 minutes ago, Yinn said:

 

What she think about south people?

 

 

How she have money if not work????

 

A bit low. Normal for job like that one.

 

All uni grad is like that?????? 

 

 

You do know many Issan people have high education right? 

Mahasarakam and Khon Kaen big university. Engineer, doctor, lawyer etc

 

So you theory. Does the Issan uni graduate “look down” on central person only finish Matayom.

Do they look down on each other? 55555

I just tell you what I have experienced and have seen, and not only one time.

 

I guess if you take a step back and be honest, you would see and have experienced this also.

 

You know exactly how much value the Thais give to "face", material things, people with higher education, higher ranks, uniforms, whiter skin, hi so cars with red number plates etc. etc. etc. 

 

Of course I'm not saying everyone is like that ... but it's a vast majority of Thais who are in kind of 'obey' mode for these kind of things. 

 

Edited October 24, 2019 by RedPill

[Damrongsak]

11 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I it were me, I would want to live with my wife 10 or 20 km away from the family on a rural ranch. Maintain some separation. I would never, ever consider living under the roof of my in-laws as much as I love them. Life is way too short for that.

I liked my mother in law and the wife's siblings, who were young at the time.  Built a house for the MIL in Loei on the edge of the main town.  Our house was 14,000 km away.  On rare visits back, we'd spend a lot of time with the family and vacationed together.  We now have a second house in our little compound for retirement/extended visits if needed. 

 

About 10 years ago, we got U.S. immigrant visas for 2 of her siblings and 4 of their family members (Wait time was 10 years).  They love it here.  I love it when my brother in law mows my lawn, rakes leaves and fixes my cars.  ????  He always wais me whenever he comes to the house.  I've loaned them some money on a couple occasions, but they pay it back.   We all get along just fine.  I've known them for 42 years.

[SteveK]

13 minutes ago, Yinn said:

Fail with wife. Fail make friends. Fail life in thailand. 

 

Stupid comment. What about "fail give money"?

Edited October 24, 2019 by SteveK

[Yinn]

2 minutes ago, RedPill said:

I just tell you what I have experienced and have seen, and not only one time.

 

I guess if you take a step back and be honest, you would see and have experienced this also.

 

You know exactly how much value the Thais give to "face", material things, people with higher education, white skin etc. etc. etc. 

 

 

Hmmmmm

South people= dark skin, ruthless, black heart 

North people = beautiful white skin, lazy

 Central = white skin, selfish

Issan = dark skin, lie to much. 

 

Farang= like to sun bathe. Copy south and Issan people.

 

Genrelly speaking right? 5555555

is not serious.

everywhere, have good and bad. Up to the person. 

[RedPill]

3 minutes ago, Yinn said:

Hmmmmm

South people= dark skin, ruthless, black heart 

North people = beautiful white skin, lazy

 Central = white skin, selfish

Issan = dark skin, lie to much. 

 

Farang= like to sun bathe. Copy south and Issan people.

 

Genrelly speaking right? 5555555

is not serious.

everywhere, have good and bad. Up to the person. 

Well, you don't have to tell me, I'm open minded enough about it, to a point where I don't care where someone comes from or what they possess, who their families are, or color of their skin.

 

Tell your people ... you know how the class systems in Thailand are working and put together ????

 

Edited October 24, 2019 by RedPill

[SteveK]

The funny thing is, money solves all problems in Thailand.

 

So you've either got it and you're welcome, or you don't and you are a scumbag who should be deported.

 

How lovely.

Edited October 24, 2019 by SteveK

[elliss]

4 hours ago, Elzear said:

One aspect of married life that puzzles me is that of giving a salary to the wife ? How can that be and if applicable, if a must, how is this monthly amount decided ? 

 

 

Do you give your wife a ... monthly salary ? Please I am serious. It is what I read on some article about local culture (whether a Thai or Isaan custom, I do not know)

 

 If OP does not give her a monthly salary ,  why is she with him .? 

  Thai relationships , are based on give and take .

  What do you both have in common , would that be enough for a 24/7 ? ..

 

[sunnyboy2018]

6 hours ago, mlkik said:

Issan is filthy! I have been for walks in the beautiful countryside only to see discarded rubbish every 6 feet.

Many people just throw their litter in the garden and it mounts up and looks so bad.

Not just Issan though,when I lived in Samutprakarn they were as bad with the litter.

Its a large area. I suggest next time you go for a walk you dont walk through a rubbish dump.

[sunnyboy2018]

1 hour ago, SteveK said:

There are also people in Nigeria with PhDs. So what?

So there are a lot of people more educated than you.

[Yinn]

41 minutes ago, RedPill said:

 

Tell your people ... you know how the class systems in Thailand are working and put together ????

 

Yes sir.

i busy morning tomorrow.

but I will tell them in afternoon.

Will they listen?

Hiso, loso.

Yinn is so-so. Same 90% of the people.

[RedPill]

Just now, Yinn said:

Yes sir.

i busy morning tomorrow.

but I will tell them in afternoon.

Will they listen?

Hiso, loso.

Yinn is so-so. Same 90% of the people.

5555 at least you know what I mean and talked about. That's good.

 

[SteveK]

Just now, Yinn said:

Yes sir.

i busy morning tomorrow.

but I will tell them in afternoon.

Will they listen?

Hiso, loso.

Yinn is so-so. Same 90% of the people.

Hi-so or lo-so. 

 

In Thailand it has nothing to do with your upbringing, or your family.

 

It's only your bank balance that counts.

[sunnyboy2018]

What's with the farang nonsense? This kind of generalization does not help. You are Australian. Are you multilingual? Are you a city dweller? Are you educated? Are you adaptable? Have you got street smarts? If you allow the Thais to define you as a 'farang' your relationship is doomed as it precludes them understanding your unique culture and background.