Women Of Samui

[parallaxtech]

Tip to the hat to this women. Working and living hard every day under extreme conditions only a stone's throw away from the easy going bar scene, where thy could joint at any moment...at a place where thousands of other women enjoy a rather easy life with foreigners, these young and beautiful hard working women show dignity...

BM - Thanks for this wonderful sentiment that I wish would be flown on a banner around Samui! These women are the real heroes and backbone of Thai society, even though a few of them work the bar scene part-time. Every time I see a gorgeous 18-yr-old carrying a load of cement on her shoulder for 100b/day, I almost feel like giving her a medal, and then asking for the phone number.

[OnTheSnap]

There is a difference between a relationship and a marriage- a relationship is any acquaintance between two people, be it casual or serious- marriage is an equal life-partnership where both partners (should) exist on equal social strata and be able to inhabit their mate's respective worlds (in a social sense)- different interests or hobbies is one thing- different levels of lifestyle are entirely another (especially when one partner enjoys privileges that the other may not have access to due to different economic circumstances).

A marriage is "WE", not "you and yours and me and mine, and maybe we'll meet on occasion"- I wouldn't want Eliza Doolittle for a wife.

Edited July 27, 2009 by OnTheSnap

[parallaxtech]

I feel that (I) escaped from western society because (I) no longer wished to be around the girlfriends/wives (I had) who constantly reminded (me) to resume our position next to the dog bowl or she would strip (me) of all (my) assets! I want nothing to do with western brainwashing regarding relationships and live in Asia because I enjoy the staus (I) have, which was sorely lost (by me) years ago in the western world.

I think that is more accurate

Flamed by a mod? Amusing, but somewhat troubling. Earth to Roo, are you asleep at the controls?

"I" wish I could take credit for this cliche, but I can't. Hundreds of books were written on this subject, tv shows like Sex and the City rejoice in it, and forums are full of it. You might want to google or yahoo "Are Men Second Class Citizens in America?"

I used it just to provide an example of why some of us prefer Asia to the US/UK, but can't claim it as my original idea, thus the omission of "I."

Don't have a flamethrower to get you, but could borrow a RPG.

[Boo]

my post was in the capacity as a mod & there was no flame. You must have a very sensitive nature if you beleive my post to be flaming towards you in any way, shape or form, but understand this, I take a dim view on posters who like to make sweeping generalisations about women so crying out for Rooo to assist you will make no difference. Read the forum rules specifically those about making offensive posts based on gender. If you have issues with women this is not the place to air them.

[parallaxtech]

my post was in the capacity as a mod & there was no flame. You must have a very sensitive nature if you beleive my post to be flaming towards you in any way, shape or form, but understand this, I take a dim view on posters who like to make sweeping generalisations about women so crying out for Rooo to assist you will make no difference. Read the forum rules specifically those about making offensive posts based on gender. If you have issues with women this is not the place to air them.

Roo, agree with you wholeheartedly on generalising about women. That is why I usually put "some," "others," or "many people," in lieu of "I". Once you changed my statement to "I," you turned it into a broad generalisation made by me alone, which I found highly inflammatory and inciteful (TV Rule #4). I understand now that you didn't mean it that way, so forget the previous post. All generalis(z)ations are false including this one. Thoreau I posted yesterday, so I try to not make such sweeping comments, like you. Thanks for monitoring these posts, as I'm sure it is a thankless job.

[parallaxtech]

There is a difference between a relationship and a marriage- a relationship is any acquaintance between two people, be it casual or serious- marriage is an equal life-partnership where both partners (should) exist on equal social strata and be able to inhabit their mate's respective worlds (in a social sense)- different interests or hobbies is one thing- different levels of lifestyle are entirely another (especially when one partner enjoys privileges that the other may not have access to due to different economic circumstances).

A marriage is "WE", not "you and yours and me and mine, and maybe we'll meet on occasion"- I wouldn't want Eliza Doolittle for a wife.

[/quote]

OTS - It is wonderful and a credit to you that you have a classic marriage that is working splendidly. Many never achieve this. However, some are not so dogmatic about marriage. For example, does someone who lives nine months out of the year in England, sees his wife and child in Thailand three months of it, and has very little interest in his wife's activities, considered to have a bad marriage? They are both extremely happy and it works for them. I and you would probably never want it, but I would not think of telling them they didn't meet the guidelines of what I felt makes a marriage. One 65-yr-old mega-millionaire friend of mine here married a poor 25-yr-old ladyboy from Isaan, and you better believe there was a quick transfer of assets to offshore locations, so is this a bad marriage? There are hundreds of examples I could cite of what some would call an unorthodox or non-traditional marriage, some work and others don't. In Thailand there are two types of marriages: ceremonial (majority) and contractual (signed papers at the Amphur); see Wikipedia.com for reference If one does the ceremonial marriage only, keeps their assets separated (no contractual obligation or marital property), is this a bad marriage? On and on ad nauseum. My only point is that if it works for you, both are happy, who cares what others think or say? Sharing one's assets in a pool and living together in the same strata is ideal for many, but would be a death sentence for others.

Agree with you that one should offer their partner the opportunity and means to enter their social strata. Some, however, decline the invitation because they would not be happy in it. Pierre Bourdieu developed the theories of social stratification and writes that 'tastes in food and culture are indicators of class or social strata." So if one chooses to entertain clients on their yacht while the wife eats sticky rice with her friends in Lamden Market (two distinctly separate strata), is this a good marriage? It works and they are happy, so great for them!

The longer you live the more you realize that life is not so well-defined and utopian as you once felt. When I was 25, to see an older man with a very young woman would have gotten me sick. Now, I see a 64-yr-old with a 20-yr-old and don't blink an eye.

If I have offended anyone by these statements, please ignore them and accept my apologies.

Edited July 28, 2009 by parallaxtech

[Lite Beer]

A post discussing Moderation has been deleted.

[koheesti]

This is a topic about non-BG Thai women on Samui and how to find the "right one" (I should know, I'm the OP). There is no reason any western women should be posting here, fighting windmills. Just as western men are not welcome in the Ladies forum commenting on western ladies' quest for the right Thai male.

[Lite Beer]

When a western woman is posting here in her capacity as a Forum Moderator she has every right to post here.

Here is a reminder of the forum rules.

21) Not to discuss moderation publicly in the open forum; this includes individual actions, and specific or general policies and issues. You may send a PM to a moderator to discuss individual actions or email support (at) thaivisa.com to discuss moderation policy

[koheesti]

Obviously my posts have been misunderstood so let me try the opposite angle...

Are there any western women living on Samui with advice on where a western guy living on Samui might be able to meet a Thai woman who isn't or hasn't been a bargirl? Keeping in mind that many shop girls either used to be BGs or free lance at night. There has been various advice given but now I - as the OP - would like to hear from a woman's point of view. Women generally occupy their time differently from the men so maybe there is something constructive being missed.

Edited July 28, 2009 by koheesti

[Rooo]

Obviously my posts have been misunderstood so let me try the opposite angle...

Are there any western women living on Samui with advice on where a western guy living on Samui might be able to meet a Thai woman who isn't or hasn't been a bargirl? Keeping in mind that many shop girls either used to be BGs or free lance at night. There has been various advice given but now I - as the OP - would like to hear from a woman's point of view. Women generally occupy their time differently from the men so maybe there is something constructive being missed.

You would be surprised as to what advice women that work on Samui can give you,could be their work colleagues,friend, relation ,bosse's daughter etc......

[Boo]

men are more than welcome to post in the ladies section & there are no restrictions on women posting in other threads or topics either. If some posters have a problem with women being mods & moderating topics then they need to raise it to admin & not try to take topics over with their own issues & agenda.

[sbk]

This is a topic about non-BG Thai women on Samui and how to find the "right one" (I should know, I'm the OP). There is no reason any western women should be posting here, fighting windmills. Just as western men are not welcome in the Ladies forum commenting on western ladies' quest for the right Thai male.

surprising attitude, given that this is the Samui forum. I don't see anywhere where it says its restricted to men only. And the fact is, most western women would know lots of non-BG Thai women (I certainly do) and might be interested in giving you advice on how to meet a nice Thai woman.

But, the fact is, a very large percentage of the many Thai women I know (all of whom, btw are not BG) are not necessarily interested in meeting a western man. Your beer swilling woman chasing predecessors as well as the general Thai perception that a Thai woman with a western man is a BG prevents alot of the nice Thai women from getting to know the nice Western men.

[LaoPo]

I edited my post; better....

Mods:

LaoPo

Edited July 28, 2009 by LaoPo

[Lite Beer]

A post criticising Moderation has been deleted.

One more time here is the rule.

21) Not to discuss moderation publicly in the open forum; this includes individual actions, and specific or general policies and issues. You may send a PM to a moderator to discuss individual actions or email support (at) thaivisa.com to discuss moderation policy

[richard_smith237]

This is a topic about non-BG Thai women on Samui and how to find the "right one" (I should know, I'm the OP). There is no reason any western women should be posting here, fighting windmills. Just as western men are not welcome in the Ladies forum commenting on western ladies' quest for the right Thai male.

surprising attitude, given that this is the Samui forum. I don't see anywhere where it says its restricted to men only. And the fact is, most western women would know lots of non-BG Thai women (I certainly do) and might be interested in giving you advice on how to meet a nice Thai woman.

But, the fact is, a very large percentage of the many Thai women I know (all of whom, btw are not BG) are not necessarily interested in meeting a western man. Your beer swilling woman chasing predecessors as well as the general Thai perception that a Thai woman with a western man is a BG prevents alot of the nice Thai women from getting to know the nice Western men.

That’s always the stigma attached to meetings between difference sexes of any nationality in areas such as Samui…

I've never dated a BG and never dated a lady who is specifically looking or only considering a western man to date with - Something seems incorrect with the initial ideal in that situation that would always be put me off.

In order to classify themselves, people generally classify others into brackets; boxes so to speak. In areas more commonly known for having more questionable moral mapping there are more common classifications and denominators which appear to be limited towards the negative end of the social spectrum. i.e. In Samui it would be more understandable for people to think that a lot of the women there are involved in the P4P industry, whereas in areas like Bangkok its more common for people to classify others into more elevated positions on the moral ladder. The same I’m sure works for women who are looking for respectable men.

In an area like samui, given it has areas quite frivolous in reputation it seems that while there may well be examples otherwise its far more difficult to achieve a meaningful, respectful and lasting relationship.

It appears to me that the Op is searching for a respectable, attractive, well educated lady of a similar age to himself – I can’t understand why she needs to specifically be Thai if she has all the other attractive attributes, however that’s down to personal taste I guess.

Given all the criteria above –

Respectable (High moral standing, well behaved, Never involved in work of a naughty nature)

Attractive (But not slutty looking !)

Well educated late 20’s early 30’s (Masters degree)

I would have to offer that his chances in Samui are somewhat limited. And, if there were ladies of the social standing that he requires it might be difficult to overcome the classification that everyone applies on each other when they first meet.

In Bigger cities (i.e. Bangkok) life is more ‘normal’ in the terms that most people do something that fits within the moral boundaries of other peoples classification and therefore meeting other respectable people seems easier.

Edited July 29, 2009 by richard_smith237

[Rooo]

Do you honestly think , that after two & a half years.he is still looking?

[PoorSucker]

Do you honestly think , that after two & a half years.he is still looking?

Yes, he has not found the right one yet.

[maccaroni man]

This is a topic about non-BG Thai women on Samui and how to find the "right one" (I should know, I'm the OP). There is no reason any western women should be posting here, fighting windmills. Just as western men are not welcome in the Ladies forum commenting on western ladies' quest for the right Thai male.

surprising attitude, given that this is the Samui forum. I don't see anywhere where it says its restricted to men only. And the fact is, most western women would know lots of non-BG Thai women (I certainly do) and might be interested in giving you advice on how to meet a nice Thai woman.

But, the fact is, a very large percentage of the many Thai women I know (all of whom, btw are not BG) are not necessarily interested in meeting a western man. Your beer swilling woman chasing predecessors as well as the general Thai perception that a Thai woman with a western man is a BG prevents alot of the nice Thai women from getting to know the nice Western men.

That’s always the stigma attached to meetings between difference sexes of any nationality in areas such as Samui…

I've never dated a BG and never dated a lady who is specifically looking or only considering a western man to date with - Something seems incorrect with the initial ideal in that situation that would always be put me off.

In order to classify themselves, people generally classify others into brackets; boxes so to speak. In areas more commonly known for having more questionable moral mapping there are more common classifications and denominators which appear to be limited towards the negative end of the social spectrum. i.e. In Samui it would be more understandable for people to think that a lot of the women there are involved in the P4P industry, whereas in areas like Bangkok its more common for people to classify others into more elevated positions on the moral ladder. The same I’m sure works for women who are looking for respectable men.

In an area like samui, given it has areas quite frivolous in reputation it seems that while there may well be examples otherwise its far more difficult to achieve a meaningful, respectful and lasting relationship.

It appears to me that the Op is searching for a respectable, attractive, well educated lady of a similar age to himself – I can’t understand why she needs to specifically be Thai if she has all the other attractive attributes, however that’s down to personal taste I guess.

Given all the criteria above –

Respectable (High moral standing, well behaved, Never involved in work of a naughty nature)

Attractive (But not slutty looking !)

Well educated late 20’s early 30’s (Masters degree)

I would have to offer that his chances in Samui are somewhat limited. And, if there were ladies of the social standing that he requires it might be difficult to overcome the classification that everyone applies on each other when they first meet.

In Bigger cities (i.e. Bangkok) life is more ‘normal’ in the terms that most people do something that fits within the moral boundaries of other peoples classification and therefore meeting other respectable people seems easier.

maybe one of the female mods or admin would meet this critieria

[Rooo]

maybe one of the female mods or admin would meet this critieria

Which female Mod do you have in mind Boo / Lite Beer/Rooo ?

[Lite Beer]

maybe one of the female mods or admin would meet this critieria

If only you knew

[njpski]

Such a long thread which seemed to have deviated

[Mark Wolfe]

Such a long thread which seemed to have deviated

Deviated from what? Come on, it's not a math problem. Wiggle-room is allowed, isn't it?

Here is the original post:

So what's the single's landscape like on Samui? Are there (m)any single educated women in their 20's or are they mostly bargirls and various McJobs in the tourist industry? If I'm looking for more than a physical relationship (OK, after the first few weeks anyway smile.gif ) would it be better to just "bring my own sand to the beach"?

Personally, I think that it is virtually impossible to find what you were used to in the West here on Samui.

I think, K, that you have to define clearly for yourself what "more than a physical relationship" is. For example, does it include learning Thai from his person, or would you prefer someone you can actual have a halfway meaningful conversation with? Does she have to be pretty, or will any old hag do, if she has a good personality? Are you strictly against helping her in any way financially? Or, as with me, do you feel that the money aspect keeps things defined?

[koheesti]

Here is the original post:

So what's the single's landscape like on Samui? Are there (m)any single educated women in their 20's or are they mostly bargirls and various McJobs in the tourist industry? If I'm looking for more than a physical relationship (OK, after the first few weeks anyway smile.gif ) would it be better to just "bring my own sand to the beach"?

Personally, I think that it is virtually impossible to find what you were used to in the West here on Samui.

I think, K, that you have to define clearly for yourself what "more than a physical relationship" is. For example, does it include learning Thai from his person, or would you prefer someone you can actual have a halfway meaningful conversation with? Does she have to be pretty, or will any old hag do, if she has a good personality? Are you strictly against helping her in any way financially? Or, as with me, do you feel that the money aspect keeps things defined?

That's it, above in bold. I have found people like that down here none of them are Thai. I guess one reason I post on this forum is to have lively discussions. Maybe I'm not the only one? Maybe there are others who can't get a good enough discussion at home so they come here?

[Birdman]

It's difficult to "get" a decent woman on Samui, if one stays here doing nothing.

However if someone works here everyday and meet people here and there, it is not difficult.

[Mark Wolfe]

Certainly attractive young, single women who are educated and enjoy lively conversations are not going to come knocking unannounced at your door (well, almost never...). But it makes a great deal of difference what you do as to who you will meet. The bar owners I see come into contact with, well, girls at bars. Restaurant owners come into contact with, aside from those working in the joint (women mostly), customers who are only here on holiday.

I wonder what sort of job you'd have to have to pass by a relatively cosmopolitan assortment of women here. Are there any foreigner postmen?

[BusyBee123]

funny beings are humans, my papa was from a family of 5 my mama from a family of 12!! a farmers daughter in southern ireland where religion said no to condoms. They were poor on both sides but met up she as a nurse and him as a trainee accountant. The tossers in the human cylcle looked down on them through religion him catholic her presbyterian... (ireland was rough then in the 70's for mixed marriages and they moved to the uk to give me a life)he made a fortune by middle class standards selling companies he worked for, now they still live happily as they did before they had money. Their children (me) went to uni and got good grades and have great jobs. Do i look for an educated lady to enjoy the future with? nope, education is a tiny part of wanting to be with someone. I think there are to many bitter divorced expats wanting to kill passion here and now i know why you are divorced. I hope in my little world i can have a life partner but if not so what no problem. Is an educated women on samui a good thing will she make you happy? maybe but do not close off the other gazillion options.

[koheesti]

Do i look for an educated lady to enjoy the future with? nope, education is a tiny part of wanting to be with someone. I think there are to many bitter divorced expats wanting to kill passion here and now i know why you are divorced. I hope in my little world i can have a life partner but if not so what no problem. Is an educated women on samui a good thing will she make you happy? maybe but do not close off the other gazillion options.

Some people are perfectly happy with, "You, me, go store, now", some aren't (up to you). You don't need to be a degree from a "uni" to have an interesting conversation about current events. You regular posters must enjoy a good discussion to come here so often. Those of you with significant others who are Thai, do you or can you discuss with them many of the topics found even on the TV forum?