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Hugging in Thailand

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Since several months I see on CNN and sometimes on BBC a video promoting "Bangkok Dusit Medical Services"

The video shows an elderly lady checking out of a hospital and being hugged by a doctor.

I married more than 30 years ago a Thai wife and when - after the ceremonies were concluded - I tried to hug my mother-in-law she dived away with an embarrassed laugh.  I understood at that time that - except wife, children and maybe sisters - the traditional "wai" was the only acceptable way.....

Did something change in Thai culture which I did not notice ?  

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  • I have been living here for more than 20 years. Hugging and even shaking hands are hard to understand for me in the meantime. Alone this stupid behavior to shake perhaps very dirty hands I avoid whene

  • A lot is changing in Thailand, I got a wai the other day and after the way the lady shook my hand which I found strange, that said, cultures are crossing over, we wai, they now shake our hand, as for

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A lot is changing in Thailand, I got a wai the other day and after the way the lady shook my hand which I found strange, that said, cultures are crossing over, we wai, they now shake our hand, as for hugs, well I haven't been game enough to hug my mother-in-law ????

 

As for the commercial, I would assume, not having seen it, that it's obviously aimed as a friendly campaign to attract and reassure farangs of Thai Dr's.

 

Edited by 4MyEgo

went to a friends retirement/birthday an the weekend and their daughter who is late teens came over and gave me a hug on arrival and when leaving, I was a bit surprised to be honest. In Australia hugging friends/family is common place but here not so much, shaking hands has been very common here and I find many women want to shake your hand after meeting you, think it is the older ones that avoid any contact with you and wai only

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Yes - I got such a hug from my dentist a few months ago having to do with being a cancer survivor as she is.  I was the one shocked.  

Over the years things have changed in the way they meet and greet all my wife's family and friends like to give me a hug and every night I go to the bar one girl gives me a big hug, I remember Thai men never shuck hands even thats changed

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I have been living here for more than 20 years. Hugging and even shaking hands are hard to understand for me in the meantime. Alone this stupid behavior to shake perhaps very dirty hands I avoid whenever possible. I also wash my hands immediately when I come home. In all these years I haven't been sick 1 time. The situation was different when I lived in the US and in Europe. Stupid unhealthy behavior there - nothing else. 

 

 

Edited by Beggar

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image.jpeg.3e8b7a2280451615459ec46203d4d96b.jpeg

'to shake perhaps very dirty hands'......i know where my hands have been, do you?
Be Woke...
fist bumps are the new greeting.....clean and hygienically healthy.

I saw a documentary on BBC about Thai maids not having a good life - though nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me and the interviewer had no idea of Thai culture [as if hotel maids anywhere have a great life] - - but this Brit lady was walking around wai-ing children?? 

 

maybe the elderly lady was the doctor's mom? though you said it was an advertisement... so it just sounds like a sales pitch... 

Cant stand  this over friendly  hugging nonsense everywhere, backslapping ,hugging etc etc

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Wai's, Hand-shakes, Hugs... In a social situation just do whatever makes you comfortable. 

 

My Father in law gets a Wai and a handshake, Mother In law gets a Wai and a kiss in the cheek, they both get the occasional hug... It all feels perfectly natural.  Even a friends father in law who I meet fairly regularly gets the full monty, a Wai when we see each other followed up with a handshake which turns into a hug !!!... confusing, no? it just natural and a sign of genuine affection. 

 

Formal situation are different - A Wai and a handshake with Thai Men, a Wai only with Thai ladies. A handshake only with Western Men and Western Ladies, unless we know the Western lady well then a kiss on the cheek is also ok. 

 

Each to their own, that's my own and it works well for me. 

I got hugged by a Tom girl guest at our homestay last week. Neither of us seemed awkward about it. I've only ever had a Thai initiate a handshake once, and he offered his left hand which I shook with my left to avoid any issue.

25 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Each to their own, that's my own and it works well for me. 

i was told as a farang never wai 

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15 minutes ago, wombat said:

i was told as a farang never wai 

The person who told that possibly figured you'd never meet anyone older than yourself...

 

However, the 'to Wai or not to Wai' debate is not due another appearance until next month !... 

Edited by richard_smith237

On 12/4/2019 at 9:56 AM, 4MyEgo said:

that said, cultures are crossing over, we wai, they now shake our hand,

I wai ..... for no man.

Ain't all that keen on shaking hands with the white pension/insurance/financial crooks either.

19 minutes ago, BoganInParasite said:

I've only ever had a Thai initiate a handshake once, and he offered his left hand which I shook with my left to avoid any issue.

You were supposed to kiss it.

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On 12/4/2019 at 2:09 PM, ChipButty said:

Over the years things have changed in the way they meet and greet all my wife's family and friends like to give me a hug and every night I go to the bar one girl gives me a big hug, I remember Thai men never shuck hands even thats changed

Bar girl hug, check for your wallet??

 

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The first time I met my Thai wife's mother and three sisters was back in 2010 when my MIL was 75 years old and unable to walk. When I drove into their driveway and exited the car, I immediately went to my MIL who was sitting on her little mat in front of her house and stooped down on my haunches and gave her a bear hug and a kiss on the forehead. All the relatives were standing around and were all taken back when they saw MIL react with a sign of embarrassment on her face. But immediately afterwards she had the biggest smile on her face and all the relatives started chuckling. That was probably the first time in her adult life that she had been hugged like that, and I frankly believe that she enjoyed it. She took an immediate liking to me, and when we left to head home two of the sisters gave me a hug as well. Since then most every time my two adult stepchildren leave my home, they are the ones who initiate a hug with me. I don't care what culture one comes from, a hug is appreciated by any normal human being as a genuine sign of affection even when it's considered taboo by society. It's something they won't easily forget if it's done with taste and genuine authenticity. Social norms are changing now that the internet gives people a window to the world. 

Here out in the sticks I can hardly remember any hugging except with children.

Shake hand hesitantly accepted.

Recently shook hand with a doctor only to realize afterwards what stupid thing I have done.

Any kissing: absolute no no.

Sawat-dee, nodding and a smile, that's it.

 

But as culture changes: a mate tells me, his wife in Bangkok would do high five with mates. That would be a big laughter if I tried this here.

My wife said that mum in law would never hug me, culturally inappropriate. After nearly 10 years she hugs me without a thought.

I love the hug, much closer than a wai.

Hugs are only for people I know very well, such as relations or close friends.

My Thai GF hugs me all the time - for warmth. A bit cold in Chiang Rai now.

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Hugs, kisses, wais, handshakes are all common in our circle of friends.  It all depends on the people and the situation. ????????????

My ex's uncle used to hug me when we would see each other.  The wai is no substitute.

Mouth hugs are quite common I have found

59 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You were supposed to kiss it.

on bended  knee

33 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Hugs are only for people I know very well, such as relations or close friends.

My Thai GF hugs me all the time - for warmth. A bit cold in Chiang Rai now.

I doubt anyone in Chiang Rai would turn down a nice warm hug right now.????

The last time a lady hugged me it was an hour before I realized my wallet was missing ????

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

I wai ..... for no man.

Ain't all that keen on shaking hands with the white pension/insurance/financial crooks either.

Or a second hand car dealer

1 hour ago, RJRS1301 said:

Bar girl hug, check for your wallet??

 

It's ok I dont have any money

On 12/4/2019 at 10:17 AM, Beggar said:

I have been living here for more than 20 years. Hugging and even shaking hands are hard to understand for me in the meantime. Alone this stupid behavior to shake perhaps very dirty hands I avoid whenever possible. I also wash my hands immediately when I come home. In all these years I haven't been sick 1 time. The situation was different when I lived in the US and in Europe. Stupid unhealthy behavior there - nothing else. 

 

 

Suppose you got one of those body rubbers, no wonder she likes me

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