Etiquette Question / Invitation /

[StefanH]

Hi,

As a customer, I have met a lady, who owns some serious businesses. The lady is married.

Now i am invited to her Restaurant for Dinner.....

Being not sure about etiquettes in Thailand, I`d better ask .....

Question :

Am I right, I should not enter the place with empty hands ?

what is appropriate to present ? flowers ?

Thank You

[Mid]

behave as you would in your home country ,

polite , dignified and respectful ,

[canuckamuck]

My wife always brings some kind of food, usually fruit. But our friends are a fairly humble bunch.

I am sure any gift would be considered charming from a farang.

[StefanH]

My wife always brings some kind of food, usually fruit. But our friends are a fairly humble bunch.

I am sure any gift would be considered charming from a farang.

Well, that´s the point .... cannot bring fruit or Wine/Whisky as a present to a restaurant-owneress ... in her place.... ????

Are flowers appropriate ????

[markr]

flowers are appropriate any time, anywhere in the world, they'll be appreciated.

Mark

[November Rain]

Flowers are a lovely idea. The only other thing I can think of (only easy to do if you live in BKK, Chiang Mai or Pattaya/Phuket) is a specialty food from your country that she might not have tried. Only really good in those areas, as you're unlikely to find those items elsewhere in LoS. As a resterauteur she might appreciate a new & luxurious taste.

[StefanH]

Thank You All for Your Input

[Neeranam]

You're the customer, don't bring anything.

Tell her to lighten up.

[Sing_Sling]

You're the customer, don't bring anything.

Tell her to lighten up.

Having a bit of a grumpy day, Neeranam?

Yup, flowers would be nice, she'd probably use them in her restaurant . . .

[mullup]

Don't be surprised if you get the bill at the end.

[canuckamuck]

Don't be surprised if you get the bill at the end.

It's funny because it's true

[plachon]

flowers are appropriate any time, anywhere in the world, they'll be appreciated.

Mark

Just remember not to buy flowers reserved for monks/religious places/funerals or you could be about as popular as a rattlesnake in a lucky dip.

[Bentley 7]

Not knowing all the circumstances of the your dinner invitation, but this is a common ploy of restaurant owners to get customers in, when I first arrived I was invited in similar fashion to newly opened restaurant of a new thai acquaintance - almost felt like I was a special honoured guest.

following proper etiquette I did take a gift only to be sat down as a normal customer and neglected and ignored by the owner and presented with a whopping bill for below average food.

Maybe this wont be the case with you but its a lesson learned years ago that there is no such thing as a free lunch especially if your the only farang at the table.

[jingjoe]

a common ploy of restaurant owners to get customers in, when I first arrived I was invited in similar fashion to newly opened restaurant of a new thai acquaintance - almost felt like I was a special honoured guest.

I've also been amused twice now, when accepting an invitation, then joining the owner for lunch, to be presented with the bill at the end.

(The owner ordered and helped consume the meals).

TIT... at least I knew what to expect the next time in a different location and managed to order a few of MY own favorites.

[kratindaeng]

Don't be surprised if you get the bill at the end.

It's funny because it's true

5555! Jing Jing!

No such thing as a 'free lunch' in Thailand my friend!

[ZukiSuzuki]

5555! Jing Jing!

No such thing as a 'free lunch' in Thailand my friend!

kratindaeng, your constant and pointless one liners in every thread are becoming a real bore.

[kratindaeng]

5555! Jing Jing!

No such thing as a 'free lunch' in Thailand my friend!

kratindaeng, your constant and pointless one liners in every thread are becoming a real bore.

5555! Pointless?! You can't see my point? OK I will unzip my pants.

[StefanH]

Don't be surprised if you get the bill at the end.

It's funny because it's true

Have asked some senior Thai People, despite being invited, one usually gets the bill, except at weddings and birthdays

Well, I am glad to have asked, would not have expected to get presented a bill eventually ....

Edited April 2, 2007 by StefanH

[November Rain]

Don't be surprised if you get the bill at the end.

It's funny because it's true

Have asked some senior Thai People, despite being invited, one usually gets the bill, except at weddings and birthdays

Well, I am glad to have asked, would not have expected to get presented a bill eventually ....

Neither would I and I've lived here 5 years! You can tell I don't get invited out much! You really do learn something new every day, at least I now know not to accept dinner invitations if I'm a bit strapped for cash.

BTW, StefanH, maybe you shouldn't take a gift. I think footing the bill is quite enough of a gesture...

[jayjayjayjay]

Don't be surprised if you get the bill at the end.

It's funny because it's true

Have asked some senior Thai People, despite being invited, one usually gets the bill, except at weddings and birthdays

Well, I am glad to have asked, would not have expected to get presented a bill eventually ....

Neither would I and I've lived here 5 years! You can tell I don't get invited out much! You really do learn something new every day, at least I now know not to accept dinner invitations if I'm a bit strapped for cash.

BTW, StefanH, maybe you shouldn't take a gift. I think footing the bill is quite enough of a gesture...

As a rule the only time I take a gift is for a home cooked meal.

[Neeranam]

As a rule the only time I take a gift is for a home cooked meal

Agreed. It would be silly for the OP to take a gift. If he does, she'll probably throw extra on the bill, thinking that the guy is totally naive.

[Jet Gorgon]

I hate to disagree, but flowers are not the right gift. (Usually, you only take flowers to a funeral.) I know this sentiment has changed lately in BKK, but I think fruit and other foods are always more acceptable.

Oh, and after living in Asia so long, I would be totally ashamed to arrive at someone's home (on invitation) without at least some token gift, even if it is only a bag of Bt20 fruit.

Edited April 2, 2007 by Jet Gorgon

[ZukiSuzuki]

I agree with Jet and neeranam, if it is an invitation to a home then a token gift of some sort is in order, if it is to an outside dining establishment then there is no need for a gift and if it is a business lunch then a gift would appear foolish.

Edit. Unless your negotiating a high paying contract for your company, then a rolex watch may be fine.

Edited April 2, 2007 by ZukiSuzuki

[bkkmadness]

Invited to a dinner, can't go too far wrong taking a bottle of wine.

[soundman]

Just take her one of those "mysterious meat" type sausages that look like a whopper of a turd from Ban Phai. If she doesn't feel like indulging , I am absolutley positive she will be able to on sell it to another customer as a "daily special".

Soundman.

[MTW]

If you are really unsure, I would bring a bottle of something you plan to consume at the dinner. This way if you get stuck with the bill, at least you saved some money here. If you are not presented with the bill, then you saved her some money.

I have never seen the owner of anyplace in Thailand, pay for anything, and the Thai owners regularly drink and eat at the cost of customers who are their "friends". When business is low, they get on the phone and ask these same friends to come and help them out. Thai people don't seem to think anything is strange about this.

My experience here has been that Thai people never invited me anywhere unless they expected me to pay. In fact, I wouldn't be suprised if your new friend doesn't invite 5 other people you have never met to sit and eat with you, and you will definitely get the bill.

I could write a book about all the various ways I have lost money here to my thai "brothes and sisters." And let me add, that no matter HOW MANY TIMES YOU PAY FOR YOUR FRIENDS, they don't seem to think that it ever has to be reciprocal, not 1 time in 100.

Of course I have stopped all this, and gotten much wiser. And my list of Thai friends has shrunk by 98% accordingly.

[peter991]

MTW: This would have to be the wisest advice I have read on this Forum in a long time. It seems to happen everywhere in Thailand.

Conversation

Thai bf: Would you like to come to karaeoke tonight?

Me: Yes - that would be nice.

Thai bf: We get drink (alcohol) at shop and take to karaeoke. Cheaper - only pay for mixers (soda water, cola, ice).

Me: Good thinking. You are clever. Save me money.

Fast forward 2 minutes. Thai bf's 'friends' mysteriously appear - about 5 of them! Without any phone calls being exchanged, they knew we were heading to the karaeoke bar.

Fast forward to end of the night: Guess who got the bill for the whole evening?

Me: I did not invite your 'friends' !!!

Thai bf: They do not have any money.

Me: Next time they pay - or do not join us!

Thai bf: Bewildered silence.

Peter

[StefanH]

@ ALL

Yes, I have experienced same like peter991 and MTW some times

This time I was taken from home to the Restaurant, had a 3 hour dinner with samplers of the delicacies the place has to offer and which are planned for the future...

The whole party were old friends and some partners and I, as the only newcomer, was very happy, not to have come with empty hands.... my small bouquet of flowers was very appreciated, sitting at the end of the table...

Oh... and not to forget..... no bill presented....

[macb]

Suggestion:

Have you seen the Hampers that you can purchase they are commonly used to show gratitude- and the contents vary in the baskets and the prices as well, I think this would be your best idea, ecspecially as this lady is married you dont want to send thewrong message

[Vit77]

MTW: This would have to be the wisest advice I have read on this Forum in a long time. It seems to happen everywhere in Thailand.

Conversation

Thai bf: Would you like to come to karaeoke tonight?

Me: Yes - that would be nice.

Thai bf: We get drink (alcohol) at shop and take to karaeoke. Cheaper - only pay for mixers (soda water, cola, ice).

Me: Good thinking. You are clever. Save me money.

Fast forward 2 minutes. Thai bf's 'friends' mysteriously appear - about 5 of them! Without any phone calls being exchanged, they knew we were heading to the karaeoke bar.

Fast forward to end of the night: Guess who got the bill for the whole evening?

Me: I did not invite your 'friends' !!!

Thai bf: They do not have any money.

Me: Next time they pay - or do not join us!

Thai bf: Bewildered silence.

Peter

And then you paid? Pretty smart - in situation like that I pay for what I think I should pay and that's all. I say - sorry, i don't have any money either, you should tell me before you wanna take friends. I have last 100 baht for taxi and I left ATM card at home. It always works, suddenly everybody checks how much money they have and they pay politely. Nothing new.