Female Thai Friends

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Since Thursday, a very good friend of mine has been staying with me. She's a young woman with two daughters, a shop and cafe on Ko Samui and we've been great friends nearly two years.

We were more than friends when we first met but the love affair could not go any further because I could not live in Samui and I certainly could not take on her two kids.

A girl I recently met who I really liked blew me out today because she last saw me with my friend, and seemed friendly towards her, but no matter what I say - people just don't accept that a farang man and Thai girl can sleep together purely as friends.

I have saved her money by letting her stay with me but it may have ruined the relationship that was developing with the girl I liked (Who I'd only ever met for a drink). It has also made her boyfriend in Switzerland very anxious and jealous but she sees no need to hide anything from him as our relationship is innocent. He's a knob anyway, she can do better - she's got two children, she doesn't need a third, and we both need somebody who can trust us.

Are we in the wrong or are we merely victims of assumption?

Anyone else have any similar stories?

[chanchao]

Are you really surprised what people think? Even staying in the same house, that pretty much settles it.

Oh, and if you haven't slept with her yet: You will at some point in time.

There's no such thing as platonic friendships. (Well there can be for a while, but at least one of the two is looking for his/her chance of getting some!)

Cheers,

Chanchao

[Bluecat]

Oh, and if you haven't slept with her yet: You will at some point in time.

If I well understood the story, they slept together BEFORE.

We were more than friends when we first met

And I think you can be friends after having been more than friends,...

[elsie]

And I think you can be friends after having been more than friends,...

Aye, but might be a bit difficult as there is always a story to a breakup. And usually, not pretty story.

G. Scamp, IMO, it's just hard to believe. It depends on the person too. If the ex file told me this story, I would say he was full of <deleted>. But if my darling did, I would probably buy it.

I can't recall last time I witnessed platonic friendships though. Not sure if I've ever seen any in my whole life.

[KevinN]

QUOTE;;people just don't accept that a farang man and Thai girl can sleep together purely as friends.

Looks like y'all do not register what you read,or maybe I don't..

But he is sleeping with her right now,,not HAS slept,or WILL sleep,, But is sleeping.

And I can not see why a man and a girl cannot sleep together as friends,sure wouldn't like to sleep with an enemy or someone I didn't like. did you ever screw someone[literally] that you hated,,OK maybe when you was drunk.

[ajahnlau]

It really gets down to daytime and night. I have a few gals that are just friends for talking etc. But when night comes even they become uncomfortable if someone sees them with a farang. Most Thais see the women with falangs as bar girls which is another thread. It's true, unless you know the thais they will look at the woman as a pro.

[ThaiGal]

You also have to understand why the girl you like is having the reaction she did.. I guess if it's purely innocent, all you can do is assure her over and over that nothing is going on. My opinion though, for someone you have slept with and had a strong physical attraction towards, to live in the same house most likely than not that old flame will spark up again so maybe not such a wise decision to have her live with you while trying to start a new relationship because most girls just won't buy it..

[chanchao]

Ok let's turn this one around: There's no way in hëll I'd stay in a relationship with a woman who would stay in another man's house. Talk about loss of face, etc. Thailand never was a 1969 hippie commune. It's the real world here.

And ESPECIALLY if you had a relationship with her before like Bluecat pointed out then I commend that girl to do the sensible thing and WALK! I'd do the same in her position.

Cheers,

Chanchao

[Boon Mee]

Only a real dumb farang would believe that their wife or girlfriend can believe such BS. Perhaps in farangland, but not in LOS...

[NedKelly]

How many 'friends' does this girl have ???

[Insight]

When I first started dating my girlfriend I had a flatmate (a friend from the UK) and his Thai girlfriend staying with me.

There's no way my girlfriend would come close to my apartment when these two people were staying with me. Reason why? According to my girlfriend, my friends girlfriend would immediately jump to the conclusion we would be having sex, no matter what we were really doing.

It seems that in Thailand, if a guy and a girl are living together, or at least spending time at another persons house, everybody presumes the same thing...

Edited June 7, 2004 by Insight

[maerim]

Perhaps it might be like Bill Clinton and Monica?

When she was having her lunch of salami, she had sex with him but he didn't have sex with her.

[MadFrankie]

ya wouldnt get away with it in farang land, so as if u think yer gonna get away with it here

[britmaveric]

Gent- I have to agree even if innocent not wise to have a former ex living with you even if its to help her out especially if you want to get serious with a new tg.

Hard enough to have female mates when you have a tgf - can't even fathom having a tgf and living with an ex tgf- literally asking for trouble.

[john b good]

Anyone else have any similar stories?

I have a couple.

I have been married, separated, etc., so it's quite normal to develope a variety of female Thai friends.

I have quite a collection of friendships that have endured for up to 10-12 years.

Most have been platonic (which is perhaps the reason they have lasted) and a lesser number have included some quite serious copulating.

Quite a number visit from time to time (not sleeping over) but from the comments that get back to me from people in the neighourhood you would think that I am screwing them all senseless.

Perhaps it is due to their (the critics) own behaviour patterns that colour their thinking i.e if I am an easy lay every other Thai girl has got to be as well.

I was told many years back that the person who is most distrustful of others is the person who is likely to be the least honest i.e. if I am dishonest then everyone else must be as well.

If you have serious intentions towards the new girl it might not have been prudent to have another sleeping under the same roof.

If you're not all that serious (with the new girl) tell all others to take a flying <deleted>.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Blimey, I don't know which one of you to quote but almost all of you have a very valid point, and none of which is a surprise to hear.

Noy took a taxi to Kaosan Rd earlier to spend her last night in a GH/hotel as she felt it was causing problems. She stayed five nights and the closest we got was her giving me a massage to help me sleep (See Health, Body & Medicine thread) - which was just a back massage. It's a very unique friendship but she's a very unique girl, very wise and very logical for a 27yr old Samui girl.

As for the other one who stood me up - I'm still unsure about her anyway and if I had been in a serious relationship with her or anybody else for that matter, then I would have gone out to meet Noy with her but Noy certainly wouldn't have stayed with me.

Still haven't heard from the girl I was on the brink of seeing, but that said she never did talk that much and had she not stood me up we were going to see Shrek 2 so by that rationale it may be a blessing in disguise.

[meadish_sweetball]

She stayed five nights and the closest we got was her giving me a massage to help me sleep (See Health, Body & Medicine thread) - which was just a back massage. It's a very unique friendship but she's a very unique girl, very wise and very logical for a 27yr old Samui girl.

I don't know you or her... but that back massage was probably an invitation to something else. Just my two cents.

I have Thai girl *friends*. 3 in fact. No sex involved. It works out fine, and my GF has no problem with it as well. Always nice to hear the female side of things from someone who does not have a vested interest in you.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

I asked for the massage to help me sleep, she was'nt trying to give me a lob-on.

(And she slept in pajamas)

[ThaiGal]

I asked for the massage to help me sleep, she was'nt trying to give me a lob-on.

(And she slept in pajamas)

Well that's how it starts... sometime.

[Nat]

the closest we got was her giving me a massage to help me sleep (See Health, Body & Medicine thread) - which was just a back massage

the relaxation techniques were meant to be solo.

In your eyes the situation may have been innocent, but a massage (unless given by a pro ) can be quite sexual. I’ve been in a similar situation with an ex - he pulled a similar maneuver on me when we were “just friends”. The next time we were in that situation it wasn’t just his back being massaged :D.

[Sandy]

Oh, is that what u call it nowadays? LOL

ooooh...back massages. Love giving them and getting them. Seriously, massages always increases the mood. Im surprise u didnt try anything. What a gentlemen. If i was getting a back massage, i think i would have ended up raping the guy myself. lol JK

[britmaveric]

Sandy- want a massage love? I've been told my hands are great!

[Padkapow Guy]

Only a real dumb farang would believe that their wife or girlfriend can believe such BS. Perhaps in farangland, but not in LOS...

You hit that nail on the head.

Thai women are probably the most jealous women in the world.

maybe not all of them but I say 98% .

[stroll]

I stayed over at an ex's place in England a couple of times, it wasn't a big deal for her, me, my Thai gf (who stayed in Bkk) nor the neighbors, who knew me from previous times, anyway. Been staying at various women friends places in the past, not in the same bed though, and not in Thailand.

I wouldn't dream of it over here, it is very bad for the woman's reputation, and your gf's, if you have one she won't let you.

My gf wouldn't let any man enter the house when she is on her own, without a very good reason, and being her or my friend wouldn't be enough.

First I thought this is rather extreme, but that's Thai culture.

G.S., I think you are too accomodating for your own good!

[Sandy]

britmaveric Posted on Tue 2004-06-08, 22:24:12

Sandy- want a massage love? I've been told my hands are great!

Oh really, great in what way? But i could be the judge of that.

[britmaveric]

Sandy- Large/Strong hands so I've been told!

[Sandy]

Must have given lots of massages haven't you.

[britmaveric]

Sandy- a few in my time. Better to give then receive love!

[stroll]

Sandy:

Why don't you stay over at Brit's, as friends, of course, and find out what else he has to offer?

[britmaveric]

Stroll- death sentence for me lad.... my gf would kill me. I was merely pointing out one of my finer attributes.