Reverse Culture Shock

[Neeranam]

Ever suffered from this phenomenon?

 

I've experienced this in a number of ways over the years. On one of my first trips back to Scotland, after about 10 years here, I was shocked by the use of bog roll and even did a Bruce Lee style squat on Heathrow toilets(among others), but wiped the size 11 footprints. 

In Australia last year, my mother gave me a fork and knife to eat macaroni! 

4 years ago in Scotland, I was uncomfortable with all the hugging and kissing from people I don't really know that well.

Also, I am unaccustomed to the direct communication, being acclimatized to non-direct 'greng-jainess'.

The weather! On an open top bus in Edinburgh, my family laughed at me walking up and down the aisle to keep warm -  it was 10C!

 

[cmarshall]

In the last ten years during my occasional visits back to the US I have been shocked by how much physical fear Americans feel.  Train stations didn't used to have constant messages on the loudspeaker to be on the alert for danger of various kinds.  Nor were national guardsnmen in camos with rifles a common sight.  

 

I found the fake American warmth required in some social situations to be quite offensive, such as a waiter introducing himself by name and gushing with forced friendliness.  I never liked that behavior, but I am now no longer acclimatized to it.

 

The risk for long-term expats is that eventually we feel homeless wherever we are.  

[Neeranam]

24 minutes ago, cmarshall said:

In the last ten years during my occasional visits back to the US I have been shocked by how much physical fear Americans feel.  Train stations didn't used to have constant messages on the loudspeaker to be on the alert for danger of various kinds.  Nor were national guardsnmen in camos with rifles a common sight.  

 

I found the fake American warmth required in some social situations to be quite offensive, such as a waiter introducing himself by name and gushing with forced friendliness.  I never liked that behavior, but I am now no longer acclimatized to it.

 

The risk for long-term expats is that eventually we feel homeless wherever we are.  

I was shocked when staying in a hotel in East London. It was honestly like being in Bangladesh, but more dangerous.

 

I was shocked in Marks and Spencers with the customer service - "oh what's the occasion are you having a party?".

[CharlieH]

The only thing that sprung to mind was the attitude I faced in two supermarkets by the old crows sat on the till ! 

My wife is 14 yrs younger than me, looks younger to be honest but they reacted like someone was holding a turd under their nose and looked at me like I was, well you can guess the rest. It was so blatant in the one that I asked to see the Manager about her attitude.

[ColeBOzbourne]

I was back in the U.S. for two weeks in February, sitting in a parking lot outside of my motorhome, minding my own business, reading a book, when a church group approached me offering to pray for me and give me some food. I politely declined both, several times. After they left I thought, 'I showered this morning and put on clean clothes. Do I really look that bad?'

[Pilotman]

2 hours ago, cmarshall said:

In the last ten years during my occasional visits back to the US I have been shocked by how much physical fear Americans feel.  Train stations didn't used to have constant messages on the loudspeaker to be on the alert for danger of various kinds.  Nor were national guardsnmen in camos with rifles a common sight.  

 

I found the fake American warmth required in some social situations to be quite offensive, such as a waiter introducing himself by name and gushing with forced friendliness.  I never liked that behavior, but I am now no longer acclimatized to it.

 

The risk for long-term expats is that eventually we feel homeless wherever we are.  

I am a Thai based expat and although I know it's on a temporary stay basis, year on year, this is my home, not the UK.  I never felt much of a connection with the UK in past years,  even thought I was in the Military. Thailand has its frustrations, but so does the UK, much more than Thailand in my view.  The UK people are not as friendly, it's a selfish 'me first' society, the infrastructure is old, expensive and unreliable and the weather is truly appalling most of the time.  if it were not for my kids living there, I would be quite happy never to set foot in the country again.  

Edited May 14, 2020 by Pilotman

[Captain Monday]

1 hour ago, Neeranam said:

I was shocked when staying in a hotel in East London. It was honestly like being in Bangladesh, but more dangerous.

 

I was shocked in Marks and Spencers with the customer service - "oh what's the occasion are you having a party?".

People in America expect small talk other they think you are rude. One teenager at a fast food restaurant actually called me on it. Reverse Culture shock, very unusual in Asian countries to discuss the weather or ask 7-11 staff "How are you"?

 

Then the kid did not charge me for the guac I ordered on my burrito. 5 minutes later one of his weed-stinking skatepunk Bros came in and the same kid gave the dude free food. Saw the bag handed over no money exchanged. That what I call sticking it to the man!

[northsouthdevide]

I can't get my head around the price of things like fruit in the supermarkets, and can't stop telling people that I can eat all day for the price of 1 item in a sandwich shop. 

And don't get me started on bottled water ????

[daveAustin]

Hugs n kisses off of aunties indeed. No more of that of course. But reverse culture shock is more about not fitting in than prices of things... i.e. a feeling of no longer belonging to one's own culture. I can attest to this.

[bodga]

Yes I  long for the days when people weren't  total gits when they kept their properties smart and tidy and had some appreciation of that, when holidays weren't almost every week.

I don't go out  much, lockdown for me means nothing

[bodga]

18 hours ago, Neeranam said:

On one of my first trips back to Scotland

Ai everything's  better in Scotland

 

[Lacessit]

16 hours ago, CharlieH said:

The only thing that sprung to mind was the attitude I faced in two supermarkets by the old crows sat on the till ! 

My wife is 14 yrs younger than me, looks younger to be honest but they reacted like someone was holding a turd under their nose and looked at me like I was, well you can guess the rest. It was so blatant in the one that I asked to see the Manager about her attitude.

I get that too. My response is to stare back with a big smile on my face.

Reverse culture shock was when I took my Thai GF to outback Australia, western New South Wales. I wanted her to see the real Australia. Drove from Cobar to Broken Hill, she kept asking where all the villages and houses were.

[GinBoy2]

Maybe because me & Mrs G have both throughout our lives lived in various countries, sorta global gypsies, neither of us have had any issue.

 

We have just sort of dropped into the society we were in.

 

Now we're back in the US as our primary home, with Thailand as the secondary, same thing. We see the faults in both, and the pluses in both, dependent on where we are at the time.

[OneMoreFarang]

I think it's enough to observe many western tourists here (not so many at the moment). Strange creatures with strange behavior. And obviously they think they know everything because they saw some YouTube video or they follow some Instagram-idiot.

There are of course a few exceptions - a few.

[Lacessit]

There is pleasant culture shock as well as adverse culture shock.

I was on the Ginza, the red light district of Tokyo, at 2 am. Felt perfectly safe, a Japanese assaulting a foreigner would be a national shaming.

On the other hand, went to a toilet at Osaka railway station, waiting for the shinkazen to Tokyo. Men's toilet, a woman attendant came in and started cleaning the urinal next to me. Maybe she wanted to see how Westerners compared, but my bladder froze up completely.

[saakura]

18 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I was shocked when staying in a hotel in East London. It was honestly like being in Bangladesh, but more dangerous.

 

I was shocked in Marks and Spencers with the customer service - "oh what's the occasion are you having a party?".

I would call it intrusion rather than customer service. I prefer to be left alone to browse until i ask for some help.

[NE1]

The thing I can never understand , though guilty of it myself when younger , walking into peoples houses with shoes on .

When I see it on a movie it looks terrible , bringing in the street dirt to somebody's house. 

[UbonThani]

2 hours ago, daveAustin said:

Hugs n kisses off of aunties indeed. No more of that of course. But reverse culture shock is more about not fitting in than prices of things... i.e. a feeling of no longer belonging to one's own culture. I can attest to this.

me too

so many racist westerners in love with themselves

 

 

[NE1]

4 minutes ago, saakura said:

I would call it intrusion rather than customer service. I prefer to be left alone to browse until i ask for some help.

Same here , can't stand people following me about asking what I am looking for.

[UbonThani]

1 minute ago, NE1 said:

The thing I can never understand , though guilty of it myself when younger , walking into peoples houses with shoes on .

When I see it on a movie it looks terrible , bringing in the street dirt to somebody's house. 

with tiles and a door mat it isnt an issue

 

[UbonThani]

Just now, NE1 said:

Same here , can't stand people following me about asking what I am looking for.

me too, i willask for help or make eye contact

[mr mr]

3 minutes ago, NE1 said:

Same here , can't stand people following me about asking what I am looking for.

you must feel great going into home pro then eh ? haha

 

no matter what isle you try to slip in there is another hoard of them waiting to pounce. then they slowly walk behind you to see where you stop. it's like being in a zombie movie they seem to multiply in numbers the further into the shop you go. 

[baansgr]

9 hours ago, northsouthdevide said:

I can't get my head around the price of things like fruit in the supermarkets, and can't stop telling people that I can eat all day for the price of 1 item in a sandwich shop. 

And don't get me started on bottled water ????

But can get a decent pint of Dumbar in a pub for less than 80 BAHT????

[Andrew Dwyer]

8 minutes ago, mr mr said:

you must feel great going into home pro then eh ? haha

 

no matter what isle you try to slip in there is another hoard of them waiting to pounce. then they slowly walk behind you to see where you stop. it's like being in a zombie movie they seem to multiply in numbers the further into the shop you go. 

Have you ever been in an FN outlet ?, seems the policy there is to assign you an assistant as soon as you walk in the door , they follow you around the store pretending to browse themselves while being close in case you need some assistance.

It’s comical, it’s like being followed by a really bad private investigator ????

[1FinickyOne]

24 minutes ago, NE1 said:

can't stand people following me about asking what I am looking for.

went into a tire shop here w/my wife and the owner was on top of me from the moment we walked in the door... I just wasn't in the mood and got really uncomfortable and responded the only way I could politely -I left... my wife understood and I told her I don't like that kind of pressure... and my wife responded... 'but she's Chinese.'

[1FinickyOne]

23 minutes ago, mr mr said:

there is another hoard of them waiting to pounce

I don't like this either but if you say "dtoo choi choi" [just looking] they will leave you alone.

[BritManToo]

24 minutes ago, NE1 said:

The thing I can never understand , though guilty of it myself when younger , walking into peoples houses with shoes on .

When I see it on a movie it looks terrible , bringing in the street dirt to somebody's house. 

What if their floor is dirtier than the street?

[BritManToo]

21 minutes ago, mr mr said:

you must feel great going into home pro then eh ? haha

 

no matter what isle you try to slip in there is another hoard of them waiting to pounce. then they slowly walk behind you to see where you stop. it's like being in a zombie movie they seem to multiply in numbers the further into the shop you go. 

Never had a problem.

Usually I have to search to find someone to ask where the item I want is kept.

My theory is they approach/follow people who look somehow 'out of place'.

Edited May 15, 2020 by BritManToo

[n210mp]

Not culture really but the weather was the first area of difference that I didn't like when returning to the UK, sort of froze me up a little especially in the north west!

 

The common sense attitude  and product knowledge of most of the shop assistants in the UK  was another nice and pleasant change from central Pattaya shopping .

 

The roads were in the UK much more well ordered and courteous an example being when there was traffic merging ,in the UK there seems to be a "one  for one "as drivers allow one car in and the next driver does the same thing etc.

 

My home is in Thailand though and so is my heart but it is all a  big gamble with concerns on how our  health, the political attitude toward ExPats and the rate of exchange go ! 

 

However I prefer the Thai culture to my own but alas this is changing at a rapid rate.

 

Thanks be,  that I am the age I am , I think I and my generation have experienced the best of things in this lats 70 odd years or so!

Edited May 15, 2020 by n210mp

[tonray]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Men's toilet, a woman attendant came in and started cleaning the urinal next to me. Maybe she wanted to see how Westerners compared, but my bladder froze up completely.

I guess you've never used the restroom in a mall in Thailand ? or Malaysia ?