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Sin sod query


Clive

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20 hours ago, ThailandRyan said:

to save face the Family wrapped the brand new Fortuner I had bought in a big red bow

I wonder if that would work with our 2012 Mitsubishi Mirage ?

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I think most of us came here seeking an alternative to the issues in our home countries. Most of those issues involve the higher demands now involved in seeking partners. It's definitely been much harder finding one of these in the Western world, given the higher cost of living, to which wages do not correspond, and a desire for all the shiny bright things and places now presented to them on social media. Thus, if you came to Thailand seeking to escape that, yet are hoping for a younger, stunning woman, you're just going to get much of the same, likely in fact moreso.

 

Your best bet is with a woman around your own age. Here in Thailand they are plentiful. Both Thai and farang men have discarded and overlook them. Many divorced or single moms. To most men they're old news, and they're after the hottest, latest models. Just look at them in front of Siam Paragon, all dressed up, full of make up and surgery, taking selfies. High maintenance, high expectations, and constant drama whenever they don't get it. So you could have the privilege of being seen with one of them, and might get some occasional "fun" out of it, if you're lucky. Hah. It's a terrible deal. Simply not worth the trouble.

 

On the other hand, an older woman is more mature, more humbled by her experiences, more aiming to please, likely speaks better English, is more likely to be loyal if you take care or her, since it's not as easy for her to just hop to another guy. As said, the topic of sin sod won't even come up. They've also got more of an "appetite", if you know what I mean.

 

Upon first landing here, I tried my hand at the younger ones, had some fun, but mostly a lot of wasted time looking back on it. Moving on to the older ones I had a much better time, and should've been with them from the start. Then finally I ended up marrying one. Cheers. ♥️😁

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On 2/14/2021 at 6:58 PM, Clive said:

 if so what price roughly

Dependes what you like to ride and be seen with and can afforth? New or used? Little used or well worn out

 

A Fiat or Lamborghini? Up to you

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 Mister T and Thailand Ryan cover it all,, with confirmation from some others..     If  and thats a big IF,   you marry  one  with a degree, a steady, respectable job, and from a good family,  they should, and would normally return any sin sod  you gave, it being   purely for show.

Do not, ever,  build near    your partners family, or on land they profess to own.

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1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Something like this?

Blonde-Bombshells-For-Your-Viewing-Pleasure-11.jpg.b94ebf0a112fc932801439a787338632.jpg

Damn!  being my age with something like this only short time!  I like to sleep have no time to be worrying myself to death as to what or where she is doing?🤣

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Paid 400,000 baht eleven years ago for my current wife, then a 32 year old degree qualified never married nurse. At the time her mother said she would return that money/gold if we ever decided to live in Thailand. We returned to Thailand almost three years ago and the mother made good on her promise. These are lower rural middle class folks...fish farmer and village store proprietor.

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When you think about it Sin Sod is going to probably cost you less than most wedding in the west.

 

The overall cost of a wedding has increased significantly during the period, rising from an average of 20,020 British Pounds in 2009 to more than 32,000 British Pounds in 2018.
...
Thats  about 1.3 million Thb. So why would a Sin Sod of around 200000Thb be a problem?

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Yes it is still a widely practiced custom.  There is no normal price though.  It depends on the circumstances.  It can be anywhere from zero to millions.  And as some have already said often the money is returned.

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Wow so many negatives.....

Who pays for the wedding? Certainly it shouldn't be the bride's parents.

Also yes, a single mother with kids; the family may have been supporting her and they should be happy that she has found a husband to take away that responsibility.

As previously stated there are too many variables, modern girls from the big city to the uneducated girls from the village (or the beer bars).…

However sin sod is not outdated, and most Thais are traditionalists (a bit like many foreigners, even if getting married is the only time they enter a church).

For most people 100,000-200,000 is enough. But it is an essential part of the culture. It gains you much respect in the family and should not be compared to buying a girlfriend.

The comment made earlier 'its not my culture' is irrelevant IMHO.

You are living in Thailand now.

 

 

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On 2/14/2021 at 7:01 PM, CharlieH said:

The short answer is ZERO - Whatever the family feels they can get away with.

Personally I didnt and wouldnt pay a penny.

 

Each to their own and their individual relationship.

When my now wife came back here after staying in Aus with me for 3 months she told her mother that we go married there and will be no wedding in Thailand hence NO SIN SOD back luck i would never pay anyway she had already been married and divorced at least once .

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1 hour ago, CrunchWrapSupreme said:

On the other hand, an older woman is more mature, more humbled by her experiences, more aiming to please, likely speaks better English, is more likely to be loyal if you take care or her, since it's not as easy for her to just hop to another guy.

So your best advice is to find a Thai woman nobody else would want to bed?

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I’m yet to meet my wife’s parents, or anyone from her family for that matter. I guess after 3 years together and a year of marriage it’s probably a bit late for them to expect any sort of financial recompense 

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15 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I paid 100,000bht for a slightly used 32 year old, with good bodywork, easy to start.

well they do say once it leaves the showroom floor and goes out the door the value goes down..   🙂

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On 2/14/2021 at 9:27 PM, Morch said:

Just to give a less gloomy angle - sometimes the sinsod bit is for show (or good luck, tradition, whatever). The groom gives the agreed upon sinsod to bride's parents, who in turn give it back to the newlywed couple. Sure, there are also sinsod-goes-wrong stories involving greedy parents/family, but I think overall it's not that common to mess with wedding money etc.

 

Mrs. Morch's parents and family never brought it up before we got married. I think the above version was part of her two younger siblings' weddings, but more like in a tradition/fun kinda way.

 

As other said, depends on many things, and if you don't feel comfortable with it, just don't. It's not a must.

Why do u need to get in a permenant  relationship or marriage anyway.stay single much cheaper

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1 hour ago, Asquith Production said:

When you think about it Sin Sod is going to probably cost you less than most wedding in the west.

 

The overall cost of a wedding has increased significantly during the period, rising from an average of 20,020 British Pounds in 2009 to more than 32,000 British Pounds in 2018.
...
Thats  about 1.3 million Thb. So why would a Sin Sod of around 200000Thb be a problem?

That is the cost of the stupid party. It's up to the couple how much they want to waste.

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1 hour ago, Tagged said:

Dependes what you like to ride and be seen with and can afforth? New or used? Little used or well worn out

 

A Fiat or Lamborghini? Up to you

I have got a 23yr old Nissan NV some rust but starts first time, sometimes needs a little bit of tinkering under the *hood* :unsure:

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56 minutes ago, MadMuhammad said:

I’m yet to meet my wife’s parents, or anyone from her family for that matter. I guess after 3 years together and a year of marriage it’s probably a bit late for them to expect any sort of financial recompense 

When I met my missus (her parents already dead), I told her not to let her extended family up-north know she has a Falang BF, she has kept to that for 10yrs+

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31 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

I have got a 23yr old Nissan NV some rust but starts first time, sometimes needs a little bit of tinkering under the *hood* :unsure:

Well, if it still good to use, why change before you have to. 

 

An older lady in the village (43) got married for 2. Time (with a local man), she got loads of gold and a big sin sod, so I guess she was still valuable for the man who choosed to take the risk.

 

 Even popular models taken straight out from show rooms with long milage reach fantasy numbers. There is no rules when it comes to sin sod, thats for sure, but for the fora here it is a delicate subject to discuss. 

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I've known my wife since 2005.  While I should be amazed that she'd give me the time of day, it doesn't because she has the best heart of anyone I've ever known.   In Thailand, it is still customary for the children to send part of their salary to help support their parents.   I took my wife out of the job market, and since I understand how critically important it is to her to help her parents, she continues to send them a monthly allowance.   I'm absolutely 1000% perfectly fine with that situation.    Although not evident from some of the comments, I'm guessing many probably handle this in the same manner than we do.    

I cannot speak to anyone else's situation, and as some have so correctly pointed out, it's an individual decision based on individual circumstances.   When I asked my wife about the sin sod years and years ago, she told me that neither she nor her parents believed in it.   So we didn't do that.   On the other hand, when I found out they were using buckets around the house to catch the water when it rained, they had a new roof within a few months.   Doesn't register as a blip on my financial radar.  

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29 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

When I met my missus (her parents already dead), I told her not to let her extended family up-north know she has a Falang BF, she has kept to that for 10yrs+


Wow. Nicely done! You’d be enjoying the happiest marriage in Thailand no doubt 😋

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Sin sod is a family matter. If the family feels they can milk you for money. Any amount can be said... If the family wants the woman to be loved and provided for.. they will return the sin sod to you on wedding day.  My Thai family put all the sin sod under our wedding bed.. we showed 400,000 baht and 4 baht of gold. All returned to us. If the Thai family is asked my for sin sod alot and wants to keep it. Then perhaps you can expect you or new wife will be always sending them lots of money. Best to marry into a family that views you as a husband instead of an atm machine. Good luck

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Thais don't pay sinsod for second hand wives. My maid was able to pick up sinsod for her daughter the second time but the groom was not from their part of the country and I don't think he realised she had been married before as she was still only about 20 the second time and had no kids. She got 30k from both husbands but both times the couple borrowed more than that from her and never paid it back. The second marriage lasted only bout a year and now the daughter has a 5 year old kid that she has no interest in and no prospects of a decent marriage. That is about par for the course sadly.

 

Thais have a big expectation of sinsod especially from foreigners and will tell you lots of stories about girls from poor families who got millions.  If she has been married before, specially if she has children, you can politely remind them of their own custom of avoiding the double jeopardy of paying sin sod twice.  If she is fairly young and not married before adn without children, you are going to have to bargain it with insistence this is alien to your  culture.  If you can't get to zero or a number you are satisfied with be prepared to walk away.  I gave something to Mrs Dog after fierce bargaining and was all gone in a few months on God knows what.  

 

Sometimes you can show money for face and it is given to your wife afterwards.  Some families of good financial standing like to do that to show they don't need the groom's money.

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3 hours ago, CrunchWrapSupreme said:

I think most of us came here seeking an alternative to the issues in our home countries.

Well then, you need to think again!   As This is not the motivation of the majority of us here.

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