morning all,

today's anecdote is about the time I bumped into a gentleman in a restaurant in downtown Hanoi.

He was a middle aged man and I was a young sprog who just moved to asia.

at that time I was a free agent and was still looking for a place to settle.

He was dressed well and seemed like he knew the ropes so I decided to strike up a conversation. 

Turns out he was from Cornwall and had just moved to Vietnam after 33 years in Thailand.

I pumped him for info all night and some of what he told me shocked me a little.

 

I had just visited Thailand for the first time at that point and had a real blast,

I was still well into the 'honeymoon' phase and hadn't (at that point) heard anything even remotely negative about the place.

that evening, all that was about to change.

I asked him why did he leave Thailand?

It took him a while to answer but finally he did.

what he said was that living in Thailand for 33 years had turned him into a misanthrope.

he was now avoiding all contact with people and only talked to me as I reminded him of his son.

He asked me what was I doing all the way out here when I should be back in the UK playing footie with the lads and chasing tail

I told him I was after some adventure that back home could not offer me.

he said that's fine, but please don't make the same mistake that he made. 

He said have fun, fill your boots but do not live there.

No good will come of it.

 

At that time I thought he was mad, which he may well have been.

But his words now have some resonance with me.

He may have been right.

I have myself noticed a marked change in my personality since moving here and my attitude has certainly changed towards locals and expats alike.

I used to be warm and fun to be around.

Now I'm aloof and a bit miserable.

People annoy me very easily and I hardly ever smile.

Not sure if that is a direct result of Living in Thailand or just getting older.

but it sure is interesting as I seem to be heading down the exact same path as the elderly man from cornwall.

 

Do any of you have similar experiences as myself or the man from cornwall? 

Edited February 24, 20215 yr by WineOh

2 minutes ago, WineOh said:

He asked me what was I doing all the way out here when I should be back in the UK playing footie with the lads and chasing tail

 

People annoy me very easily and I hardly ever smile. Not sure if that is a direct result of Living in Thailand or just getting older.

A lot more 'tail' out here to chase (and catch), than there ever was back in the UK.

As you get older you realise how worthless most other people are, although I'm happy enough with my Thai family.

 

pS.

I'm also from Cornwall, a nice enough place apart from all the rain.

Edited February 24, 20215 yr by BritManToo

Looks like another veiled Thai bash to me, benefit of the doubt for now.

 

 

Plenty of grumpy, dissatisfied, misanthropic old men the world over!  I'd wager those living in Thailand are having more fun!

14 minutes ago, WineOh said:

Now I'm aloof and a bit miserable.

thanks for sharing

Well given the output on Tvisa can't be denied Thailand brings out the less cheerful and negative side for some

I guess it's hard to lose the habit of following the daily news and somehow thinking it all greatly impacts your own daily existence

Living in a comfortable family bubble is not so distressing, easy not to take on the issues of others and the problems of the global village

 

I used to be the life and soul of the party, but then I became a moderator!

Trying to think of something clever and witty to say, but nothing comes to minds...

30 minutes ago, WineOh said:

People annoy me very easily and I hardly ever smile.

Not sure if that is a direct result of Living in Thailand or just getting older

 

It's you, not Thailand. Happiness comes from within.

 

Anyway, thanks for sharing about your err.. encounter with an older man.  

2 minutes ago, faraday said:

Happiness comes from within.

Doesn't ones environment also have an impact on ones mental state?

 

A psychologist would say it does.

Edited February 24, 20215 yr by WineOh

It is you.

16 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Plenty of grumpy, dissatisfied, misanthropic old men the world over!  I'd wager those living in Thailand are having more fun!

Indeed. I’ve worked with a lot old folks back in the States, and eventually got a similar spiel from them.

 

Why are you wasting your time with that? It doesn’t pay well, it’s a scam. Stay away from women, they’re all out to get you. Never get married, you’re bound to lose in the end. Never drink, you’ll become a raging alcoholic. Don’t see a doctor for that, what do they know? Oh, you’ve been to that place (in the States)? Nothing but crazies there. You should find Jesus, he saved me. Or don’t find Jesus, it’s a cult. Yadda yadda.

 

I suppose they might mean well. What you’re hearing each time they do this are their own tales of woe, the missteps they’ve taken, and they don’t want you down the same paths. But who knows, perhaps you’ll succeed where they have erred. And if you followed all their advice, you’d never do anything.

Disappointed.  I thought it was gonna be a Limerick.

9 minutes ago, faraday said:

It's you, not Thailand. Happiness comes from within.

Nice one ????

11 minutes ago, faraday said:

 

It's you, not Thailand. Happiness comes from within.

 

Anyway, thanks for sharing about your err.. encounter with an older man.  

Yes!!!!If you need someone else to make you happy you are doing it wrong!

Learn to love yourself and only then you can truly love others.

It is a process,it can take a long time!!!!When you find it you will realize it is much better than

any religion!!!

I ve always been a miserable b******d!!!

 

Happiness can come from within, for certain people.

Others let their emotions rule them and eventually their environment take it's toll on their mental well being.

 

Not everyone has a thick skin, some people feel environmental insults more than others.

48 minutes ago, WineOh said:

Now I'm aloof and a bit miserable.

We'd already noticed that. Nice of you to confirm.

50 minutes ago, WineOh said:

I have myself noticed a marked change in my personality since moving here and my attitude has certainly changed towards locals and expats alike.

I used to be warm and fun to be around.

Now I'm aloof and a bit miserable.

People annoy me very easily and I hardly ever smile.

Not sure if that is a direct result of Living in Thailand or just getting older.

Perhaps Thailand didn't change you at all.  Rather, it revealed your true self. 

I once met a man in Hanoi,

who told me he slept with a boy,

he said it was good,

cos the boy wore a hood,

And didnt mind using a toy.

 

I really thought that the begining of the headline, suggested a limerick was unfolding.......  

54 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Well given the output on Tvisa can't be denied Thailand brings out the less cheerful and negative side for some

I guess it's hard to lose the habit of following the daily news and somehow thinking it all greatly impacts your own daily existence

Living in a comfortable family bubble is not so distressing, easy not to take on the issues of others and the problems of the global village

 

I think you've inadvertently hit the nail on the head. It's not Thailand or Thai people who turn men into miserable misanthropes.......its Thai Visa.

 

As for the OP, I would have given him the same advice. Far better to have a career and raise a family in the west than in Thailand. I had 2 great kids, a wife I am still married to and no end of liaisons with memorable ladies before moving to Thailand for my retirement which was made possible by earning a very comfortable company pension in the West.

 

The West for living your life, Thailand for enjoying your retirement.

16 hours ago, WineOh said:

living in Thailand for 33 years had turned him into a misanthrope

 

It's old age that does that to you. Nothing to do with living in Thailand. Hence the term ' grumpy old men '

 

I'm only a half misanthrope as I still like women with a passion , its just the males I avoid.

35 minutes ago, WineOh said:

Others let their emotions rule them and eventually their environment take it's toll on their mental well being.

 

They allow emotions to rule them. Yes correct. 

 

Our emotions are within our control.

 

Therefore, the way you are feeling, is down to you.

 

Solly, na.

 

 

 

1 minute ago, faraday said:

Our emotions are within our control.

only for some.

 

I agree with the OP to a certain extent that llving here  (or any foreign land) can change you a bit.

 

I used to be, if not funny, at least very witty but no longer. Why try when no one understands you, and anyway humour is the hardest part for a non native speaker/listener. I would say I have  become less outgoing, but then I remember I am getting on a bit now.

 

I've given up trying to explain hilarious Far Side cartoons to the wife. She does laugh a lot at people falling over though.

 

By the way OP I was disappointed your 'Number 2' post was shut down just when it had the potential to be the funniest one for a while. I had several anecdotes to add but was denied lol.

 

2 minutes ago, WineOh said:

only for some.

 

 

I imagine that you're someone who says:

 

"You make me so angry"

 

Other people, are not responsible, for your feelings.

 

Anyway, good thread Khun O, if though it appears to be wind-up.

 

 

4 minutes ago, Saltire said:

I used to be, if not funny, at least very witty but no longer. Why try when no one understands you, and anyway humour is the hardest part for a non native speaker/listener.

The opposite for me. Thais get off on visual humour. Slapstick. Even before I spoke Thai I had no problems making Thai girls laugh. Pulling funny faces, deliberately tripping myself up and my legendary "dad dancing" were always guaranteed to make them laugh. Now I speak a modicum of Thai and Issan and have them rolling in the aisles with my attempts at pronouncing certain words.

Anyone who comes here at an early age with the attention of staying needs their heads examining, including the crowd of so called 'teachers' of English, who are actually not qualified to teach anything.  Its just another drop out situation, an extended 'year out,' whatever the fxxk that means, hanging on to a colonial ideas of what life in Asia is all about.  My older kids told me that they were taking a year out before Uni to travel around Asia. I soon disabused them of that idea, telling them that they would get no financial support from me to do so.  Get qualified, get a job, make some money, then travel. Any reasonably thinking person from the West makes it there before moving here, bar the very few expats employed by international companies who are here longer term on expat packages. And before the real teachers, qualified PGCE or equivalent, teaching in International schools and the Universities start howling, I of course exempt you from my comments. So to summarise, the older Cornwall guy was just  bitter old drop out and the story teller, just a younger version of him. 

Edited February 24, 20215 yr by Pilotman

14 minutes ago, Saltire said:

By the way OP I was disappointed your 'Number 2' post was shut down just when it had the potential to be the funniest one for a while

So was I mate, so was I....

1 minute ago, Pilotman said:

And before the real teachers, qualified PGCE or equivalent, teaching in International schools and the Universities start howling, I of course exempt you from my comments. 

I don't exempt them. They would get a far better salary/pension plan doing the same job in the West. Their children would get a better education/job prospects in the West too.