Relative steals dirt

[FritsSikkink]

32 minutes ago, Surelynot said:

100%....if you're a farang.....forget it.

No idea why so many people are scared of the locals.

[UncleMhee]

Clarification needed please...... A relative "assisting" in the rental of GF's farm. Is it the GF's farm or, are her and the relative renting it from someone else? Crystal clear facts can make all the difference to responses.

[Surelynot]

1 hour ago, Solinvictus said:

Could you explain this a bit more please?

Yes...sorry...misread the original post....I meant to convey the idea it is best to stay out of it.....I have been involved in one or two little fracas with the locals...simply not worth the hassle (or danger)

[DerbyDan]

2 hours ago, holy cow cm said:

If he has the gall and audacity to do it, then he must have the guts to have it come back into his face. I am not that relaxed or forgiving and will confront anything face and head on. And yes he would be spoken to in his own language.

 

The language would be universal. Probably not even required at your next meeting. A glace is enough. This is about being a man, not speaking Thai. He will get it, or not.

 

Now, there is no losing face in standing up to another man in Thailand, as long as it's done without accusation in case of misunderstanding. 

 

Take the bloke out for a beer in the yard and tell him your rice is not growing for some reason. He will get the message. I have an extra water buffalo yoke, should you require it.

Edited February 28, 2021 by DerbyDan

[bermondburi]

5 hours ago, ivor bigun said:

Every time i read posts like this ,i thank goodness that i was lucky enough to meet my wife who was in business as are her family and they are all decent middle class Thais ,who treat me so well and i think the world of them, 

Ps for 25 years ever since he was about 15 her youngest brother has always been broke and begs off us all ,mind you he is a nice guy ,just useless in business. ????

is she Chinese too? 

[Solinvictus]

4 hours ago, DerbyDan said:

 

The language would be universal. Probably not even required at your next meeting. A glace is enough. This is about being a man, not speaking Thai. He will get it, or not.

 

Now, there is no losing face in standing up to another man in Thailand, as long as it's done without accusation in case of misunderstanding. 

 

Take the bloke out for a beer in the yard and tell him your rice is not growing for some reason. He will get the message. I have an extra water buffalo yoke, should you require it.

This is bad advice IMO. Though, slightly humorous.  It's not about speaking Thai as you stated and then you finish up with "take the bloke out for a beer." Right.

 

"This is about being man." Doesn't always suffice in Thailand. "The language would be universal"  lol   What is a 'glace?' As in A glace is enough.

Edited February 28, 2021 by Solinvictus

[daveAustin]

The relative is not her 'brother' by any chance? 

[holy cow cm]

13 hours ago, DerbyDan said:

 

The language would be universal. Probably not even required at your next meeting. A glace is enough. This is about being a man, not speaking Thai. He will get it, or not.

 

Now, there is no losing face in standing up to another man in Thailand, as long as it's done without accusation in case of misunderstanding. 

 

Take the bloke out for a beer in the yard and tell him your rice is not growing for some reason. He will get the message. I have an extra water buffalo yoke, should you require it.

Huh??? I am not the OP. And disagree the language or let's say body language being universal opposed to the words of his language rolling off of your tongue when spoken. This guy knew exactly what he was doing and did. Just another BS scam that he thought he could get away with. Buy and drink a beer with the guy? Huh? I am not sure how long you have been in Thailand and actually live or lived with the natives and all their types here, but this is not like the American Indians and you taking a peace pipe to smoke together and see whether he will say sorry or not, then afterwards each other hugging and you telling him: OK, you better be good and not do something like this again! The guy plainly came up with a plan to steal by scooping dirt and sell it which was not his dirt to sell.

 

The only thing the OP and his wife need to be careful of is the repercussions coming back from this twit if he tends to come undone and become a loose cannon. Thai men have a habit of acting out before first thinking. That is the only danger. If bring in the police, let them resolve it by getting the dirt back or by rubbing his nose in it and making him pay restitution. My thoughts are the dirt went to building a house or building as pack dirt.

 

[ivor bigun]

15 hours ago, bermondburi said:

is she Chinese too? 

no ,but funnily enough two of her sisters are married to Chinese Thai ,one lives with her Chinese  Thai English husband in the UK and the other is quite rich and lives in BKK.The two sisters made a good choice ,the wife got me lol.

[Yellowtail]

First, it's (apparently) your girlfriend, not your wife, so you have lost nothing. 

 

I think the best thing you can do is persuade her that she needs to do something. The best way to do this, it to make clear that a farm without topsoil is no longer a farm, so the value of her property has been reduced significantly.

 

Also, try to get a handle on what the value of the stolen dirt was. Even sold as fill, the value is significant. She will likely be more motivated if she knows the dirt has been stolen and  sold for a hefty chunk than if it's just thought of as a little dirt...

[DerbyDan]

14 hours ago, holy cow cm said:

Huh??? I am not the OP. And disagree the language or let's say body language being universal opposed to the words of his language rolling off of your tongue when spoken. This guy knew exactly what he was doing and did. Just another BS scam that he thought he could get away with. Buy and drink a beer with the guy? Huh? I am not sure how long you have been in Thailand and actually live or lived with the natives and all their types here, but this is not like the American Indians and you taking a peace pipe to smoke together and see whether he will say sorry or not, then afterwards each other hugging and you telling him: OK, you better be good and not do something like this again! The guy plainly came up with a plan to steal by scooping dirt and sell it which was not his dirt to sell.

 

The only thing the OP and his wife need to be careful of is the repercussions coming back from this twit if he tends to come undone and become a loose cannon. Thai men have a habit of acting out before first thinking. That is the only danger. If bring in the police, let them resolve it by getting the dirt back or by rubbing his nose in it and making him pay restitution. My thoughts are the dirt went to building a house or building as pack 

It's universal. Men have been doing this since the dawn of time. The OP's gf informed him about the problem and she and whomever took the dirt may be testing him out to now stand up as a man.

 

Your not getting anywhere as a foreigner in Thailand straight bitching in a local village.

 

Your going to need to sit down with a couple beers, with some extended family, and/or local neighbors and subtly exert pressure without crossing the line into complete loss of face, until he agrees to pay for the dirt. That's how things work.

 

Showing up with a stick is not going to work either, unless you have the police do it.

Edited March 1, 2021 by DerbyDan

[holy cow cm]

11 hours ago, DerbyDan said:

It's universal. Men have been doing this since the dawn of time. The OP's gf informed him about the problem and she and whomever took the dirt may be testing him out to now stand up as a man.

 

Your not getting anywhere as a foreigner in Thailand straight bitching in a local village.

 

Your going to need to sit down with a couple beers, with some extended family, and/or local neighbors and subtly exert pressure without crossing the line into complete loss of face, until he agrees to pay for the dirt. That's how things work.

 

Showing up with a stick is not going to work either, unless you have the police do it.

Been here 3 decades DD. First Thai wife was from a village and being back way back when was at that time beforehand it would have been wise to be quiet and Thailand and out in the boonies in a village was very dangerous. And I was young and very in-shape back then but would not have confronted anyone..

 

I know how it works and I am sure the OP's girlfriend knows the score already, and that said being now and the year it is, if it was my situation with my current family and wife, I would take it direct and hard.

 

Her and the relative testing him as a man? Huh? Maybe the relative knowing she is with a foreigner and maybe it all depends on how they look at him for being acclimated and smart in Thailand. If you look at billd766 rough calculation approach of how much dift top soil was taken, and a stab at the cost of selling it, it comes to 400k. Not a little bit of baht if you ask me. This is a serious crime. we all handle things here in our own ways, but at this point of my life here, everyone of my family knows me and knows not to mess with me or my family. My wife is the same. We do not let anything get past us.

 

BTW. For the OP, sounds like it is his girlfriend who controls all the cards. We do not know how long they have been together. Realistically it would be face the guy face to face and resolve by him getting the dirt back, or making him pay more than what he made to her, or take it to the police to have them resolve it. Get walked on once, get walked on once, get walked on again.

 

Edited March 2, 2021 by holy cow cm

[herfiehandbag]

It strikes me, that if the land is his girlfriend's, and she is not prepared to do anything about the theft of the topsoil, then the police are certainly not going to react to him filing a complaint.

 

I also wonder, speaking as someone who has recently discovered how much he has been swindled by his wife, whether his girlfriend has "benefitted" in some way?

[BritManToo]

12 hours ago, DerbyDan said:

Your going to need to sit down with a couple beers, with some extended family, and/or local neighbors and subtly exert pressure without crossing the line into complete loss of face, until he agrees to pay for the dirt. That's how things work.

Disagree,

OP needs to dump gf and move onto a relationship with someone who has less problems.

[KeeTua]

8 hours ago, herfiehandbag said:

It strikes me, that if the land is his girlfriend's, and she is not prepared to do anything about the theft of the topsoil, then the police are certainly not going to react to him filing a complaint.

Imagine showing up at the police station in the nearest town and claiming another villager, who happens to be your relative, stole dirt from your farm land. Cops in town have no interest in what goes on in a village unless it involves drugs, gambling, physical violence or theft of something tangible like a motorcycle. Everything else is just petty BS to be sorted out by the villagers themselves, or go to court and sue.

For all we know the suspect relative had his reasons to help himself to the soil. For example unpaid debts of the OPs girlfriend.

[djayz]

Sounds like it's her land and she seems to have accepted it. Alternatively, maybe he DID ask her for permission to sell the soil, but she "forgot" to tell you? Remember, blood is thicker than water. 

Either way, I don't understand why you're getting involved and getting yourself worked up about it. 

Edited March 7, 2021 by djayz

[DerbyDan]

how has the op responded?

is he standing up as a man, or just hiding and cowering when asked?

how is this going to look if people in the family know this happened and he is supposed to be a man in the family if the relationship becomes more then casual?

you need to ask your gf what she wants to do. its her decision.

Edited March 15, 2021 by DerbyDan