The 4 letter word called "love".

[RafPinto]

Love you too mut. Where you go, I go with ju.

[dlclark97]

On 9/21/2021 at 8:22 PM, Kadilo said:

Did you get dumped then?

He got the whole thing wrong.  Love here should often be spelled 'money'.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

56 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

She probably would be high maintenance. She does sing like one in a million and probably knows it very well.

 

Goes to show there is no justice in the world when Lady Gaga is a major star but this girl who can actually sing is not.

Strange comparison. Lady Gaga is known for her amazing live performances of her own songs. Not some one doing covers and trying way too hard to be sexy and alluring. 

[Tanomazu]

3 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

Strange comparison. Lady Gaga is known for her amazing live performances of her own songs. Not some one doing covers and trying way too hard to be sexy and alluring. 

Sure, Lady Gaga never tried way too hard to be sexy and alluring. Have you even seen the Pokerface video?

 

She also changed to try and be a real singer, very modest success compared to this Benedetta.

[Gottfrid]

 

Even this guy keeps on asking.

[Tanomazu]

17 hours ago, StreetCowboy said:

I don't know how it works in your household, but in my household the nice guy fathered my children.

In most households the nice guy fathered the children, ie the Beta male who has to provide provisioning in return for sexual access, however, the problem is when the female is confronted with an Alpha male BEFORE she has had children, she will generally have sex with the Alpha male. That was what the Bonoboy study above found as well. Being a nice guy will only get you so far. If you truly want to have sex with many females it's much more useful to work on your physique, assuming you have the face in the first place, and indeed a physique that would warrant workouts.

[Tarteso]

Ask to Nigerians on keyboards,  what is love ????

[4MyEgo]

Love is what you make of it in my opinion.

 

You must have strong feelings called love, you respect each other, show no jealousy, insecurities, allow one to live as if they were single, and you hold all your finances, worst case scenario, you fall out of love, or you get dumped, but your finances are safe for you to continue enjoying your stress free life as you only invested 10% of your worth, simple really.

 

The above said, the gal has to cook like a chef and want to spoil you, not be a wanna be Princes wanting to spend, spend, spend and not be demanding or lazy, be a whore in bed, and love you long time, sorry fellas, they broke the mould when they made mine and no she is not the AI type, therefore not requiring oiling every now and again????

 

 

Edited September 23, 2021 by 4MyEgo

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, Tanomazu said:

Being a nice guy will only get you so far.

Sounds like you just want to be very careful that you have kids with a woman who has not slept around or is pining for any "bad boy" ex.

 

Anyone who has had their fun and then wants to settle down with a "nice guy" is best avoided, but I would imagine that a woman who has been taught that you don't put it about and find a decent guy relatively early will likely make a good wife.

 

I think you can be a nice guy, or a decent, hard working, honorable guy, and be OK as long as you know your worth and select carefully.

[Rampant Rabbit]

On 9/21/2021 at 8:19 PM, swissie said:

The ultimate trick by nature, making sure that a certain species multiplies and doesn't go extinct.

Thats  lust  not  love

[Thingamabob]

On 9/21/2021 at 9:38 PM, Moonlover said:

Love is dogs that stick by you no matter what and cats that purr.

Well said.

[bbabythai]

On 9/21/2021 at 8:22 PM, Kadilo said:

Did you get dumped then?

by his bar girl

[Tropposurfer]

Seems from reading you are mistaking love for infatuation and obsession, and perhaps intellectualising such beauty.

Love it has been said, moves through stages, and settles into a state of working at loving the other as a "daily decision" as M. Scott Peck described it. This 'work' does not preclude or dumb-down the joys of loving, quite the contrary it engenders more facets of loving that are often precluded in the earlier 'courting' stages of coming-to-love another as intimate partners (contains agape). 

Sexual and cognitive obsession (Eros) is not love, rather it is a facet of loving, it's not the goal it's just the prelim's so to speak. Of course w e move backwards and forwards in states of love-flux if you will. This is natural and mature.

But a feature of deep emotional maturity holds, often and more consistently the first three on the Greek list of love definitions (listed below).

Eros is said to be a more hormonal component of love, the less mature, coming more from our limbic brain area (our lizard brain) and yes as you point out a state of intense hormonal surging's.

This state of intense focal infatuation is a powerful endocrine experience, a series of waves of endocrine induced madness if you will. In such states we produce drugs 100 times more powerful than heroin or acid.
Mature love requires a decision (ongoing and daily) to stay with and accept another in intimacy and non-intimacy, not just because they do somethings we gain enjoyment or pleasure from but in order to fulfil our higher-order needs and imperatives. The Greeks have a bunch of words for love. As mature adults we move through and include these 4 stages as a collective loving of another. To stay in one or another stage precludes the fullness of partner intimacy that can be found. i.e.  

• Storge – empathy bond.
• Philia – friend bond.
• Eros – romantic love.
• Agape – unconditional "God" love.

Yes, we love to make babies too.

To live in a way that says no to love, but yes to sex, is a decision made in order to foster enough relational contact to make sexual relations possible is also a decision in essence of anti-intimacy.

Sexual contact is physical intimacy, it is not necessarily emotional closeness. Men are very good at this emotional-isolation, but to 'look like' we are intimate. As creatures we are hard wired for intimacy and all the conflagrations that come with such imperatives.

Like many other experiences within the realms of existence there are many which cannot be proven only experienced i.e. prove to me that love does or does not exist. I mean empirically prove either of these hypotheses ... We cannot prove them but we know it exists.Why? Because we experience it and yet we cannot hold it out to another and show them. We can show the 'object' of our love e.g. our partner, our children etc. Interesting, contradictory, paradoxical creatures aren't we?

[khunPer]

On 9/21/2021 at 3:19 PM, swissie said:

That way you can reighn in the "tricks of nature" to a certain degree, thus avoiding repetitious heart wrenching "love" roller coaster rides.

However the "roller coaster rides" are actually quite amazingly pleasant, can even be same feeling as teenager-love...???? –and they might sometimes last similar short time...

[Isaan sailor]

If the relationship (or pairing) flourishes beyond infatuation, then mutual respect and common interests are essential.  Imagine dating someone in your age group back in your home country.  It helps you appreciate things here just a little more.

[DBath]

On 9/21/2021 at 4:56 PM, CharlieH said:

No such thing ! Its a vicious rumor.

 

Its lust, initially, followed by nothing but a bad habit bordering on addiction. ????

 

Did you have unrealistic expectations going in?????

[OneMoreFarang]

10 hours ago, Tanomazu said:

She probably would be high maintenance. She does sing like one in a million and probably knows it very well.

 

Goes to show there is no justice in the world when Lady Gaga is a major star but this girl who can actually sing is not.

I am no fan of the gaga lady. But she actually can sing.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

14 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

Sounds like you just want to be very careful that you have kids with a woman who has not slept around or is pining for any "bad boy" ex.

 

Anyone who has had their fun and then wants to settle down with a "nice guy" is best avoided, but I would imagine that a woman who has been taught that you don't put it about and find a decent guy relatively early will likely make a good wife.

 

I think you can be a nice guy, or a decent, hard working, honorable guy, and be OK as long as you know your worth and select carefully.

You make it sound as though there are loads of "good" girls out there just waiting till I decide to go looking.

In my experience all the really good ones were taken long before I got interested in marital bliss. All that were left were the ones that I shouldn't have tried with.

[thaibeachlovers]

7 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I am no fan of the gaga lady. But she actually can sing.

All I'll say is that she sings as well as she acts.

[seedy]

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford

[NoshowJones]

On 9/21/2021 at 9:05 PM, 2 is 1 said:

LOve is for kids and people who's IQ is under 100! Different is how you "love" your own kids, that is real love!

"LOve is for kids and people who's IQ is under 100!"  That would mean most Thais then.

[brianthainess]

On 9/21/2021 at 8:19 PM, swissie said:

= Love makes blind.

And there was I thinking something else made you go blind. ???? 

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You make it sound as though there are loads of "good" girls out there just waiting till I decide to go looking.

Perhaps it's wishful thinking on my part, but I like to think there are some, maybe not loads.  My impressions is, though, that there are a few categories such as geeky girls who are very focused on their studies and their families, girls who are very sexually conservative, girls who are not conventionally attractive to Thai men but are attractive to us foreigners for whatever reason, and so on.

 

It all depends on what you're looking for.  If these categories are appealing to you, then I think you still have some options.  If your "type" is also the kind of girl who will be in high demand and locked down in high school or you need several months of casual sex with a girl before you get serious, then your pool is definitely less.

 

But this is just my opinion.

 

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

In my experience all the really good ones were taken long before I got interested in marital bliss. All that were left were the ones that I shouldn't have tried with.

The fact that Thais pair up very young is an obvious handicap.  You're certainly facing a considerable age-gap if you're going to find a decent one and you're over 30/40.  But this is the land of considerable age-gaps.

 

Obviously the older you get, the smaller your pool, but who knows?  Love is complicated.  Don't give up!

[ivor bigun]

i know i am loved ,i have always known it ,and when i was very ill and taken to hospital seeing my wifes face and my sons  and my daughters tears. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 9/24/2021 at 3:14 PM, BangkokReady said:

The fact that Thais pair up very young is an obvious handicap.  You're certainly facing a considerable age-gap if you're going to find a decent one and you're over 30/40.  But this is the land of considerable age-gaps.

 

Obviously the older you get, the smaller your pool, but who knows?  Love is complicated.  Don't give up!

Well, I wasn't referring to Thailand, given I didn't really arrive there till in the latter half of my life, and I wasn't interested in getting married till my late 50s, after my disastrous first go at age 30. Before 30 I was having far too much fun to even consider getting married, by which time I had to settle for another man's reject ( and his children ).

 

Not so much having given up as realising that marriage is a dead end of broken dreams and heartache for me. Perhaps others may be luckier than I.

[seedy]