How Well Can You Communicate With Your Significant Other?

[jdinasia]

I would hazard to say that almost EVERY relationship book/expert etc out there would say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

How do you rate your relationship on communication?

Do you think communication is important?

[wolfmanjack]

I would hazard to say that almost EVERY relationship book/expert etc out there would say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

How do you rate your relationship on communication?

Do you think communication is important?

I refuse to talk about the subject !

[dukkha]

Have read where communication is 80% body language, go figure...

[jdinasia]

Have read where communication is 80% body language, go figure...

Really? cool! where did you read that?

Looks like this thread won't get much feedback ..... didn't really expect it to

[Naam]

I would hazard to say that almost EVERY relationship book/expert etc out there would say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

How do you rate your relationship on communication?

Do you think communication is important?

a lot depends on the educational level of both partners. the bigger that discrepancy the lower the need to communicate in a highly sophisticated way.

i communicate daily with my wife fluently in three different languages on (nearly) any topic. but that does not mean that we are happier or have a better relationship than a couple that communicates using sign language only.

not at all!

[jdinasia]

I would hazard to say that almost EVERY relationship book/expert etc out there would say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

How do you rate your relationship on communication?

Do you think communication is important?

a lot depends on the educational level of both partners. the bigger that discrepancy the lower the need to communicate in a highly sophisticated way.

i communicate daily with my wife fluently in three different languages on (nearly) any topic. but that does not mean that we are happier or have a better relationship than a couple that communicates using sign language only.

not at all!

I dated a deaf man for a year .... we communicated in sign language only ... on any topic

But are you saying that people with little or no education do not need to have meaningful conversations?

[dukkha]

I hope that is not the implication JD...meaningful in whose assessment may we ask?? Busy tonight eh?

[Luckydog]

I would hazard to say that almost EVERY relationship book/expert etc out there would say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

How do you rate your relationship on communication?

Do you think communication is important?

My GF understands basic English. But oh how I miss the small talk and the use of irony and the jokes. They are double dutch to her sadly....

[jdinasia]

meaningful conversation ...... hmmm

why don't YOU tell us YOUR definition of meaningful?

For me and my partner? being able to discuss the pros and cons of movies ..... or travel destinations .... or places to eat.

You can add to that politics <on occassion only> or Thai Culture <often> or a friend's delimna ... or interest rates .... or computer programs ....

I don't think all of these things are nec for all couples etc .... but they certainly are for me

[jdinasia]

I would hazard to say that almost EVERY relationship book/expert etc out there would say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

How do you rate your relationship on communication?

Do you think communication is important?

My GF understands basic English. But oh how I miss the small talk and the use of irony and the jokes. They are double dutch to her sadly....

My partner and I went to an isaan food place in Saraburi about a month ago .... the food was excellent! Far above and beyond anything we had eaten in recent memory! He quipped "going to the car to get the gun and shoot the chef" ... most people wouldn't get it but it was an allusion to the movie "Once Upon a Time in Mexico" that left me in tears! I am sure that the people working there must have thought we were nuts because we were laughing so hard!

I can communicate fairly well in Thai .... and work my way around most subjects even. I do well enough to be able to date someone that doesn't speak English .... but I don't think I would find a relationship as rewarding if I couldn't be a smartass to get a laugh fortunately I haven't been put in that situation for more than an hour or so in any 'dates'

[dukkha]

Meaningful...oh the semantics...nuance/irony/etc are not really available in my 2 years plus relationship, but we do discuss politics/film/food/friends/sex/money etc...but we do so in thai...so for me it is not in depth sadly, have two or three farangs with whom can do that sorta thing...kit maak maak mai dii seems to be the usual mantra...however have not been bored with the relationship, dont think no ONE person can provide for all ones needs, linguistically, psychologically, emotionally blah blah blah...just content and happy to be with Sam and enjoy the intimacy which came to me very late in life in a culture which is not my own, so no complaints from moi...words seem less important to him than actions, think that has been said before by many...in fact tonight think have overloaded on words on this thread, time to chill out with something less meaningful if ya get what I mean... Dukkha

[farang prince]

I would hazard to say that almost EVERY relationship book/expert etc out there would say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

How do you rate your relationship on communication?

Do you think communication is important?

JD, my first wife was German. My second wife was Russian. My first b/f was Peruvian. My second b/f was Chinese. And my current parter is a Thai ladyboy. As you can see, I have been dealing with communication and cultural challenges my entire adult life.

For me, there really is two types of communication -- verbal and non-verbal. Both are very important and actually in the beginning I think non-verbal communication is even more important than verbal communication. I found at the outset that when speaking with them, I had to listen very closely. There could be no background noise. Total concentration. If I wasn't sure what they were trying to say, I would stop them and ask them for an explanation of their thoughts. This was all very beneficial in my opinion, because there was no attempt to ever ignore what they were saying, like many people do in a relationship after awhile. And I also got to really understand their thought processes.

It was also important that we learn each other's languages. Fortunately I'm a pretty quick study of language. My German wife enjoyed talking German with me when we were out in public because she felt more comfortable knowing that our conversation was probably pretty private. My Russian wife liked talking Russian around the house, but preferred English when we were in public so that she could impress people with her language skills. My Peruvian boyfriend spoke excellent English but he was so much more romantic when he was speaking Spanish. And my Chinese boyfriend also spoke very good English and preferred speaking it with me because it improved his language skills. My Thai ladyboy's English is not great but is getting better, especially when we are living part of the year in the USA and she has to speak English every day when she is out in public. I teach her English daily and she teaches me Thai. I must admit Thai is the most challenging of all the languages I have encountered but learning Mandarin has helped me somewhat with the tonal nature of the language. I like speaking Thai with my ladyboy because she is very intelligent and has a great sense of humor, which she really can only fully express in Thai.

The bottom line for me is that if there is a will, there is a way to communicate. But not everyone has the will.

[Naam]

I would hazard to say that almost EVERY relationship book/expert etc out there would say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

How do you rate your relationship on communication?

Do you think communication is important?

a lot depends on the educational level of both partners. the bigger that discrepancy the lower the need to communicate in a highly sophisticated way.

i communicate daily with my wife fluently in three different languages on (nearly) any topic. but that does not mean that we are happier or have a better relationship than a couple that communicates using sign language only.

not at all!

I dated a deaf man for a year .... we communicated in sign language only ... on any topic

But are you saying that people with little or no education do not need to have meaningful conversations?

that's not what i am saying. what i meant is that if one partner's level of education (and therefore general knowledge) is very low the other partner cannot discuss any topics which require the afore-mentioned general knowledge.

a simple example: if your partner has no additional education than elementary school, is perhaps Asian and none of you speak a common language fluently then it is impossible to discuss or explain 19th century napoleonic politics and its influence on Europe.

[BambinA]

Do you think communication is important?

In my opinion, I think communication is important. Human is a social animal species hence, they need to have a participation with others. Even people who can not speak,they use "Hand Language" for communication.

[TopChinese]

It puzzles me how so many GWM-GAM couples seem to work out in the long run despite the language/culture barrier. Is open and frank communication between partners that important or are we really kidding ourselves?

[popshirt]

Reminds me that when my Thai b/f and I met he had limited English and I had no knowledge of Thai. One of the first things he told me was that what I did was more important than what I said. That was a piece of wisdom that has served me well.

[farang prince]

Reminds me that when my Thai b/f and I met he had limited English and I had no knowledge of Thai. One of the first things he told me was that what I did was more important than what I said. That was a piece of wisdom that has served me well.

Your b/f is a sage Popshirt. Very wise advice.

[jdinasia]

So ... this begs the question ......

limited dialogue ..... what else is there to the initial relationship other than sex?

(when the answer is sex I'll leave out the next question that THAT answer begs!!>

[farang prince]

So ... this begs the question ......

limited dialogue ..... what else is there to the initial relationship other than sex?

(when the answer is sex I'll leave out the next question that THAT answer begs!!>

JD, we might not be debating the validity of the Theory of Relativity...but you can find out a lot about the person you are with through simple dialogue. Just follow the Who, What, When, Where, Why and How line of questions/answers and you have immediate dialogue. In my case, I was bold enough to make a play for my ladyboy after seeing her in a cabaret. We went out for coffee and spent three hours talking about our backgrounds, our interests and our future dreams. Was it deep dialogue? Deep enough. I knew a lot about Irin after that night and the next day we had lunch...and more dialogue. And then another lunch...and then breakfast. Etc. You just need to pay attention, ask simple questions, be honest and if there is chemistry things will begin to percolate. Irin and I still laugh at some of our early rendezvous, but it was so innocent and romantic in its own way, that we fell in love along the way.

[PeaceBlondie]

I've been offline for almost two weeks, and when I saw the title and subtitle of this thread, I sighed or moaned, thinking "Oh great, another poke in the ribs from the contigent who think that speaking fluent Thai is almost as important as eating Thai food."

My boyfriend and I have great communication and conversations....in English. Unlike my last girlfriend, I can't share jokes about Stan Freberg lyrics from the 1950's, and he doesn't like Guns and Roses. Unlike my ex wife, we don't need to be talking all the time.

Of course communication is important; that's why we post on internet forums.

[jdinasia]

LOL ... it IS as important as eating Thai food .....

but that wasn't the point of this thread

[PeaceBlondie]

jd, I can speak Thai flatulently. I apologize if I was taking a dig at Thai food...yet again. And if the point of this thread was not to brag about one's fluency in Thai, that's great. My boyfriend and I communicate well....in English. I doubt we could ever do so in Thai.

[jdinasia]

My partner and I only speak English ... he still forgets I speak Thai .. but we always could communicatre fluently.

So I would guess that was why I put in "does he speak YOUR language?"

I don't use him to interpret for me any more unless it is legaleze or overly complicated (and even then I only ask for him to confirm things ... for clarity

but It is kinda telling to see people's reactions to this topic! <can't be sure if folks are reacting to me .... or to the fact that is asked in the past what was the most important factor in a relationship was ... the answer would have been communication!>

My partner and I still run into areas where either cultural differences ... or personality differences have us in non-communicative ruts ... but overall we can break out of that just by going somewhere and doing something new

[peter991]

My Thai BF speaks quite good English. He isn't making any real effort to teach me Thai language and at my age I find it hard to pick up much - and when I do I tend to forget it easily

Fortunately, as one of the earlier OPs mentioned - we read each other's body language well.

Peter

[wpcoe]

jd, I can speak Thai flatulently.

Hahahaha! Thanks for the laugh of the day. Does that relate to "talking out of one's ass?"

Sorry, PB, I couldn't resist!

[FranklyNoMore]

This is another whatever works for you thread. For me I wouldnt date a guy who couldnt speak English to a high standard. My ex b/f and now my current b/f can speak to a very high standard. They can crack jokes in English and are both very funny. They both know sarcasm and innuendo. I think our relationship is better for it and im sure far fewer problems arise because of any misunderstandings that often occur due to the language barrier.

That\'s what works for me but I know others who are equally happy and communication is very limited in English. Again everyone is different but you find what works for you.

[Mat268]

.............learn to speak Thai fluently like me! works wonders and goes well with body language !!!

[geriatrickid]

...but you can find out a lot about the person you are with through simple dialogue. Just follow the Who, What, When, Where, Why and How line of questions/answers and you have immediate dialogue.

You just summarized the approach that drop squads use when they are plopped down into place with an outbreak of disease and have to gather reliable info fast. I usually have a chaperone/local with me so I can cope but it sort of doesn't work for romantic dates (yea, just a sec. - Boon, ask if it's ok if I fornicate tonight....)

But anyone wanting to get into the heart of his/her honey would be well advised to follow the W5H rule.

[Scott]

Why would I want him to talk to me--he only needs to listen and do what I say!

No, I am just kidding. Fortunately my other half speaks excellent English and gets all nuances of the language. Sure wish he didn't because I occasionally get reprimanded for my sarcasm and snide remarks that he shouldn't get !

[dukkha]

Discovery Channel Program.

Shaolin, 1,500 year old Zen Buddhist sect, monks living in Berlin.

One was asked about communicating.

He replied, 'True communication is through the heart and spirit"

I kinda liked his reply....works for moi

Dukkha