If You Think She/he Is The One

[Bluecat]

There are quite a few threads about marriages.

Marrying BG on non BG,...

But isn't it possible to live with somebody for a very long time or even up to the "end" without marrying?

This is more and more common in the western world.

So, if you married or think of marrying

Why?

[Tornado]

, yes, no maybe - not sure really

[Bluecat]

yes, no maybe - not sure really

Ask her,...

[Bluecat]

So, if think of marrying

Why?

Come on, Rainman.

I know that you at least would have one good reason for marrying.

A Thai girl, I mean,...

[elsie]

Let me ask you first, Brue. Then, I'll get a better picture.

Does "getting married" means you have to register it at the amphur as well? Like, not only having the reception?

[dfwbkk]

Let me ask you first, Brue. Then, I'll get a better picture.

Does "getting married" means you have to register it at the amphur as well? Like, not only having the reception?

Good one

I never did quite understand why my wife feels we never married properly even though we did go to the Amphur and had a ceremony/party at her mum's house...we ate a big pig and drank a lot of beer/whiskey...

Maybe the diamonds weren't big enough?

Maybe the absence of a church wedding? (She's a Thai of the Christian Faith)

/// dfw

[The Gentleman Scamp]

I'd marry a bargirl tomorrow, even if Tornado sent me a PM to advise me against it.

Bargirls understand life and survival, they're sexy and good in bed and know how to have a good laugh.

If I won the lottery I'd have a hareem and a jacuzzi and I'd love them all.

Ooooooh, sex.

[dfwbkk]

I'd marry a bargirl tomorrow, even if Tornado sent me a PM to advise me against it.

Bargirls understand life and survival, they're sexy and good in bed and know how to have a good laugh.

If I won the lottery I'd have a hareem and a jacuzzi and I'd love them all.

Ooooooh, sex.

I was one stupid number off from winning the Texas Lottery last week (jackpot was USD 145 Million...). Woulda been 30+ million USD in my account net after taxes and sharing with the other winner...(I did win like 100 kTHB, which of course is nice, but consider the alternative...)

I'd probably woulda had myself a jacuzzi...

/// dfw

[Tornado]

I'd marry a bargirl tomorrow, even if Tornado sent me a PM to advise me against it.

Bargirls understand life and survival, they're sexy and good in bed and know how to have a good laugh.

If I won the lottery I'd have a hareem and a jacuzzi and I'd love them all.

Ooooooh, sex.

I was not talking about all of em, just the ya bah smoking rasta shagging one you were dating

[rainman]

okay, here comes the rainman opinion:

i gave that question quite a bit of thought, not just recently but some time ago as well. does getting married guarantee you a happy life? nope. neither does it guarantee you that she/he won't leave you at any time.

here's two couples i know of that had some very different issues:

couple 1: they got married at age 20, some 80+ years ago and a while ago became the oldest couple to get divorced ..both of them now being 100+. reason they gave? they wanted to wait until the kids were dead. kind of sweet, isn't it?

couple 2: i know these guys personally. they were living together for over 20 years, happily. then they got married and two months later they got divorced because they couldn't handle the pressure of a marriage. now they separated but are already living together again, but they won't ever marry again. go figure.

IMO, marriage does not give you guarantees. of course, its nice to say "this is my wife.." or "this is my husband.." etc. i think there are two reasons why people get married today. one because its romantic and the other because it may have benefits, depending in which country you live in. many people also get married so they can stay with their partner if they come from different countries.

i used to think i know who i would get married to, even up to a year ago, after a 3 year relationship. but then suddenly, things went upside down and she changed completely. now i am happy that i didn't marry that dragon in sheep clothing - saved me a lot of problems for sure. but that doesn't mean i won't get married in the future.

oh, men and their problems ....

[Bluecat]

Does marriage help "stabilize" the couple?

When you have problems and you have many in daily life, does the fact that you are married help you stay together?

Because you can not easily "leave".

Or is it just the reverse, i.e. when you are married, you do not make any effort to compromise because, anyway, you have to stay together and when you are not, you try to be, well, more flexible?

I actually have no idea what's best.

I know couples separating whether married or not.

And some staying together whether married or not.

Maybe, at the end, it does not really matter,...

[Debaryman101]

What's the difference if u get married or not I think it is up to the people involved. It needs to be discussed though cannot just jump into getting married.

If your more comfortable just being together with out getting married then so be it.

I just look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell If no one knows who they are they are movie stars in the US They have been together for a long time and they are not even married. The surprising thing was I saw and interview with her and she called him her "Husband" I thought it was funny at the time.

Chok Dee Everyone

P.S. Bluecat Not sure if it stabilizes people any better Getting Married

I'm Glad I'm married though

[Rhys]

In Thailand..shyreaah..right.... Gentleman Scamp has it right...

[maerim]

couple 2: i know these guys personally. they were living together for over 20 years, happily. then they got married and two months later they got divorced because they couldn't handle the pressure of a marriage. now they separated but are already living together again, but they won't ever marry again. go figure.

Well look on the bright side of life, there will be questions over who will get the kids will there?

Unless these "guys" adopt.

Never ceases to amaze me with homosexuals, lesbians, Catholic priests and nuns from a section of society that does not breed where do they all come from?

[medicinebox]

Once you tie the knot, she will start putting her little foot down. And you will know it.

I believe marrage is <deleted>. If you have kids and you are not married in the uk, you have no access to them if she leaves. If you are married you have a tuesday afternoon, and an empty bank balance after the divorce. Go figure.

Girl power, slut power, pussy power, the new woman. Had more cocks through her than the chicken factory.

ladies, you're sitting on a gold mine.............oh right you knew that already...

[ghengis]

Marriage is mostly for the benefit of the wife - who has additional security later in life. She won't have to pay inheritance tax, she will inherit her husbands property, private pension, be entitled to government widows pensions etc.

For those men who have been stung by a divorce, the idea of getting married again is not always a happy one. It is usually the man who has most to lose in a divorce.

For those couples who have the choice whether to marry or not, I think they get married when their concern for their life-time partner is greater than their fear of future divorce. Other couples may be forced to marry to entitle them to live in their spouse’s country.

[Just talk]

It really doesn't matter for me to get civil marriage or not cas it doesn't help anything when some problems come up in family. Nothing guarantee for happy future life with someone (husband/wife) you just know for years. Also even you have a stable financial status (married with rich farangs (in this case), nothing will confirm that you will have happy life with him. I have seen many rich but cheap personallity farangs here who got married with cheap personallity girl. Both just playing a game infront of each other, some girls just got married with farang cas of financial status which never last long for real happy life.

I used to hear some thai women who married with rich farangs said "Love doesn't matter also if farang think we are stupid, let him think as long as he has money just pretend we are sincere and love him like GOD!! Look ! He is fat like a pig and really not handsome, who will want to marry him if not me????"

Poor him that is what i can say !

A wedding or a civil marriage is just a kind of social acceptance which i don't care much. Actually, to get civil mariage with farang in thailad it creats more problem for her, It's more difficult to handle thing even it is just a stupid paper work we have to due with government officer. I am Thai but i do feel like an outsider cas it is another regulations, another treat when they know i have farang husband !! this is really make me angry usually, sometime i think where is my thai woman rights after married with farang? why I have to pay more fee for this for that, why can't it be the same ? Many many little things thai woman loose their right here but people just don't think about it.!!

Personally, I myself don't like rich man cas i believe and notived they have some kind of selfish personnalities.

Through many posts in Thaivisa (mostly farangs). Sometimes i don't like their opinions and perception through thailand/thai women but i can't say it is right or wrong, people have their own life experiences. Some people met good girl some might not !! One true thing happen nowaday, it is rarely to get a husband/wife who good in heart and not cheat on you !!

[andyinkat]

One true thing happen nowaday, it is rarely to get a husband/wife who good in heart and not cheat on you !!

Thailand/Farangland same same.

Just talk makes some interesting points because she's writing as a Thai lady married to a farang.

I'd be interested in some factual information about what LEGAL benefits (including residency) there are for farang men who marry Thai ladies. What adventages are there to marrying compared to co-habiting?

Anyone offer any information?

[autonomous_unit]

...

I'd be interested in some factual information about what LEGAL benefits (including residency) there are for farang men who marry Thai ladies. What adventages are there to marrying compared to co-habiting?

Well, in many parts of the world the legal "risks" talked about on this thread become real whether you marry or simply cohabitate for a long time. I'm not sure how many people realize that...

To answer your specific question, I think the big items for men in most places are similar to what were described for the women, eg taxes, pensions, inheritence, insurance, and rights regarding children. Even if there are practical asymmetries in the way these benefits are delivered between the sexes, it is still better than you get with cohabitation. For cross-national marriages there are also shortcuts in the visa and citizenship processes for spouses and children which may be useful.

But for us, the motivation was largely family and social comfort at "making it official" after years of people assuming it would happen. A minor benefit was the symbolic aspect of confirming and proclaiming our intentions to each other; we both found it oddly reassuring despite our knowing what we wanted all along.

Now if only we would finish the job and get our marriage certificate translated into Thai...

[Spee]

I'd be interested in some factual information about what LEGAL benefits (including residency) there are for farang men who marry Thai ladies. What adventages are there to marrying compared to co-habiting?

Hi Andy,

First off, please be sure that I'm responding because you asked an interesting question (and not because of our dialog in the other thread).

In my case, I don't know that I would personally acquire any legal benefits when my fiance' and I get married (probably late 1Q or early 2Q 2005). The only one I can think of is assistance with acquiring permanent residency. This is okay, as it is not the reason I want to marry her. The real reasons are for love, companionship and commitment. Of course, some people can get these things without marriage, but for us, no.

There are some other aspects that do come into play with a marriage that is formally recognized both in Thailand and the US. First, for me, it will go a long way towards me being able to adopt her daughter. This would hopefully help to protect the child if something were to happen to her and/or me.

Second, until we permanently establish residency in our Thailand home, the marriage will be documentation to my government that I have additional dependents. This will allow me to claim quite a bit of tax relief, which is intended to go towards her daughter's education. It allows me to create a special tax exempt education fund for her as well.

Third, and perhaps most importantly, it allows me to pick them up in the health insurance plan that I pay for through my job, to ensure that they will be able to have good physical and dental check-ups and treatment if needed.

Fourth, my fiance's mother is not in the best of health. If we marry and decide that it would be worthwhile to have her mother as a dependent to us, then possibly I might be able to arrange for better health care for her, too.

So I think while there are not a lot of personal legal benefits for me per se', having the marriage legally reconized will allow us to utilize many other opportunities for saving money and taking care of ourselves and our loved ones.

This all goes in with my feelings about my fiance' and what I want from our relationship. We share love, companionship and friendship, and in return, I have an opportunity to try and help my fiance', and her daughter, mother and brothers to have a better life if they want it. I feel lucky to have her as someone who loves me and also to have them there for me and me there for them.

As one who tries to find a win-win outcome for any scenario, this is about as good as it gets. Am I right?

No hard feelings, eh ???

Spee

[anamore]

back to Blue Your question if marriage makes a difference in a relationship.

If things don't work good between 2 people don't think about marriage as a solution because it wil only get worse. It makes me think about people who make a baby to save the relation and split up afterwards.

Being together has to do with love and understanding. I think you love someone because you understand her/him but sometimes it's just the other way around. You understand him/her or try to because you love her/him.

And it has to do with feeling good when you are together. It's like the one you love is home, heaven and earth together, no matter where you are.

for the matters of daily life it doesn't matter if you are married or not. But sometimes people tend to take it for granted just because they are married. they loose respect and concern for the one they are with, they forget romance and tenderness, they forget to make a compliment to the partner, they forget to seduce and to be seduced. They take and take never wait to receive and it's never enough. giving becames difficult and rare.And then... one day... you discover you are sharing your life with a stranger. Don't let it happen to you.

[maerim]

one day... you discover you are sharing your life with a stranger

More to the point you will end up sharing a divorce court with a stranger.