Am I Rude?

[garro]

I don't get to see many other Farang where I live, as we are a bit remote, and the only time I usually bump into them is my trip to Phitsanulok every two weeks. There are about three other Farang in a 20 km radius of me. One English guy who I socialised with a few times but haven't seen in over two years, one Italian who I haven't met and only stays here part of the year and one old guy who I said hello to in the market a few years back but he completely blanked me (I still see him occasionally and we just ignore each other).

As I said we go to Phitsanulok every two weeks are so and invaribly end up in Tesco/Lotus or Big C. There aren't many Farang in Phitsanulok but I will always see one or two. When I first came to Thailand I would always smile at other that Farang who I would make eye contact with and sometimes even strike up a conversation. As I say it is not like Pattaya we are still very much a minority here. Anyway, I always smile at the Thais who I make eye contact with and they always smile back. I noticed that many other Farang would blank me and I would find this strange or even a bit rude. Then I thought about it a bit more and realised that the only thing we really probably had in common was our skin colour and the 'where do you come from?' & 'How long have you been in Thailand?' conversation gets a bit stale after a while. So for the last few years I too have got in the habit of blanking other farang. I don't mean anything bad by this and of course I would help anyone who I thought was in trouble.

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into. As is now my routine I blanked him. After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however it was obvious that he was a freindly sort and wanted to chat. The problem was though that after you have blanked someone for a while it is actually a bit awkward suddenly acknowledging them (at least I think so). So I continued to blank him. Was I very rude?

[Who, me ?]

not rude, but I think the guy might think you are a shy one......Just say Hi to him next time.......

[jbowman1993]

I don't get to see many other Farang where I live, as we are a bit remote, and the only time I usually bump into them is my trip to Phitsanulok every two weeks. There are about three other Farang in a 20 km radius of me. One English guy who I socialised with a few times but haven't seen in over two years, one Italian who I haven't met and only stays here part of the year and one old guy who I said hello to in the market a few years back but he completely blanked me (I still see him occasionally and we just ignore each other).

As I said we go to Phitsanulok every two weeks are so and invaribly end up in Tesco/Lotus or Big C. There aren't many Farang in Phitsanulok but I will always see one or two. When I first came to Thailand I would always smile at other that Farang who I would make eye contact with and sometimes even strike up a conversation. As I say it is not like Pattaya we are still very much a minority here. Anyway, I always smile at the Thais who I make eye contact with and they always smile back. I noticed that many other Farang would blank me and I would find this strange or even a bit rude. Then I thought about it a bit more and realised that the only thing we really probably had in common was our skin colour and the 'where do you come from?' & 'How long have you been in Thailand?' conversation gets a bit stale after a while. So for the last few years I too have got in the habit of blanking other farang. I don't mean anything bad by this and of course I would help anyone who I thought was in trouble.

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into. As is now my routine I blanked him. After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however it was obvious that he was a freindly sort and wanted to chat. The problem was though that after you have blanked someone for a while it is actually a bit awkward suddenly acknowledging them (at least I think so). So I continued to blank him. Was I very rude?

If I had to talk to every farang I saw, to avoid being labeled "rude", I would never get any work done. I will acknowledge anyone who I make eye contact with. A simple nod of the head greeting usually does it, and im on my way.

[sai grok]

My wife ordered me to stop smiling at other farang as it annoyed her when I got the blank stare

Saying that, not all are ignorant, sometimes I get into a nice conversation with a farang stranger, but on the whole it would be nice just to get an aknowledgement back, no need to speak really.

[Jet Gorgon]

Not rude, Garro. Like WM says, just say hello next time. You used to be a bit zealous when you first joined TV, but look how you've mellowed and started interacting more. It looks good on you.

[garro]

Zealous? Me? When?

[threelegcowboy]

All,

Have had the same experience many times but have some other angles for you to ponder.

Maybe he doesnt speak your language. He doesnt want to make an effort.

Maybe he is trying to get lost into another world and doesnt want to be found.

Maybe he is from some metropolitan area where rip off is rampant.

Maybe he thinks you are comming on to him in a sexual way.

LLL

[garro]

Maybe he thinks you are comming on to him in a sexual way.

LLL

So it probably wouldn't be a good idea to try and hug every Farang I see

[Who, me ?]

Some would love this, provided that you are handsome of course......But please make sure you don't do that to me, huh !

[Mobi]

Slightly off topic, but in the past, it was always noticeable (to me anyway) that most Thais you came across would make eye contact and be the first to smile.

But during the last few months I've been taking a 1/2 hour, daily walk near my home, which is 15kms East of Pattaya, and I always pass a quite a few Thais, either walking or on Motorbikes or in the back of pick-ups. Although many of them still make eye contact, they rarely smile unless I do first - and then they smile back. A small minority just scowl, even if I smile at them.

I have my beautiful golden with me, which is always a point of interest and often helps to break the ice, but there is no doubt that I have to make the initial efforts to be friendly, whereas in the past it was usually the other way round.

Has anyone else noticed this - or is it just me coming across as a miserable looking, cranky farang?

As far as smiling at other farangs goes - I find that a great majority of farangs I see in the stores just blank me, totally, even if I smile. But if I had also blanked someone many times, it wouldn't stop me saying hello if they wanted to be friendly.

[siam-i-am]

I don't get to see many other Farang where I live, as we are a bit remote, and the only time I usually bump into them is my trip to Phitsanulok every two weeks. There are about three other Farang in a 20 km radius of me. One English guy who I socialised with a few times but haven't seen in over two years, one Italian who I haven't met and only stays here part of the year and one old guy who I said hello to in the market a few years back but he completely blanked me (I still see him occasionally and we just ignore each other).

As I said we go to Phitsanulok every two weeks are so and invaribly end up in Tesco/Lotus or Big C. There aren't many Farang in Phitsanulok but I will always see one or two. When I first came to Thailand I would always smile at other that Farang who I would make eye contact with and sometimes even strike up a conversation. As I say it is not like Pattaya we are still very much a minority here. Anyway, I always smile at the Thais who I make eye contact with and they always smile back. I noticed that many other Farang would blank me and I would find this strange or even a bit rude. Then I thought about it a bit more and realised that the only thing we really probably had in common was our skin colour and the 'where do you come from?' & 'How long have you been in Thailand?' conversation gets a bit stale after a while. So for the last few years I too have got in the habit of blanking other farang. I don't mean anything bad by this and of course I would help anyone who I thought was in trouble.

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into. As is now my routine I blanked him. After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however it was obvious that he was a freindly sort and wanted to chat. The problem was though that after you have blanked someone for a while it is actually a bit awkward suddenly acknowledging them (at least I think so). So I continued to blank him. Was I very rude?

Yes

[garro]

I don't get to see many other Farang where I live, as we are a bit remote, and the only time I usually bump into them is my trip to Phitsanulok every two weeks. There are about three other Farang in a 20 km radius of me. One English guy who I socialised with a few times but haven't seen in over two years, one Italian who I haven't met and only stays here part of the year and one old guy who I said hello to in the market a few years back but he completely blanked me (I still see him occasionally and we just ignore each other).

As I said we go to Phitsanulok every two weeks are so and invaribly end up in Tesco/Lotus or Big C. There aren't many Farang in Phitsanulok but I will always see one or two. When I first came to Thailand I would always smile at other that Farang who I would make eye contact with and sometimes even strike up a conversation. As I say it is not like Pattaya we are still very much a minority here. Anyway, I always smile at the Thais who I make eye contact with and they always smile back. I noticed that many other Farang would blank me and I would find this strange or even a bit rude. Then I thought about it a bit more and realised that the only thing we really probably had in common was our skin colour and the 'where do you come from?' & 'How long have you been in Thailand?' conversation gets a bit stale after a while. So for the last few years I too have got in the habit of blanking other farang. I don't mean anything bad by this and of course I would help anyone who I thought was in trouble.

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into. As is now my routine I blanked him. After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however it was obvious that he was a freindly sort and wanted to chat. The problem was though that after you have blanked someone for a while it is actually a bit awkward suddenly acknowledging them (at least I think so). So I continued to blank him. Was I very rude?

Yes

It wasn't you was it?

[Scott]

I don't think your rude, your just not being polite. It's not really rude to not acknowledge people that you don't know and don't really have any dealings with, but it's never rude to smile and nod at someone.

One of the problems here, especially if farangs are scarce, is that people think of an area as their private kingdom and other foreigners are viewed as "intruders." Where I live is a suburban/industrial area of Bangkok without many foreigners--just those of us who work in the area and the odd retiree. It's a little like a mini-turf war.

I usually make it a point to smile and nod, if I am in what I consider to be someone else's space, if we are a long way off and it's not exactly eye contact (although we may have seen each other), then I don't.

People who obviously ignore your kind gestures are, in my opinion, rude.

You sound like a nice person and among the foreigners in Thailand, a credit to all of us.

[keemao]

I, too am in Phitsanulok and yes, farangs are few and far between.

When I first came to Phitsanulok I had various family and friends tell me about other farang in the area( maybe 2 0r 3 as you said). Trying to be accommodating they located one of these guys for me thinking it would make my stay more comfortable. The guy they brought to my house was over 60 years old, wearing a ripped beer chang shirt, stank like high heavens and to top it off was Austrian and couldn't speak a word of English let alone thai.

I politely excused myself and waited for he and his 26 yr old wife (who actually looked presentable. Still can't explain this) to leave. Which they did quickly. I bumped into the same guy again at a local wedding and he made the effort to don some shorts and a polo shirt (faded but clean). This story (and any alike) almost deserve a thread of their own although I'm sure someone beat me to it.

So after that I sort of got into the habit of not speaking to any farang unless they introduce themselves to me and seem likable.

My point is you are doing nothing wrong and based on my encounter, there's no guarantee you'd understand him anyway!!!

BTW- As long as you aren't the above guy we can be friends!!!!!

[garro]

I, too am in Phitsanulok and yes, farangs are few and far between.

When I first came to Phitsanulok I had various family and friends tell me about other farang in the area( maybe 2 0r 3 as you said). Trying to be accommodating they located one of these guys for me thinking it would make my stay more comfortable. The guy they brought to my house was over 60 years old, wearing a ripped beer chang shirt, stank like high heavens and to top it off was Austrian and couldn't speak a word of English let alone thai.

I politely excused myself and waited for he and his 26 yr old wife (who actually looked presentable. Still can't explain this) to leave. Which they did quickly. I bumped into the same guy again at a local wedding and he made the effort to don some shorts and a polo shirt (faded but clean). This story (and any alike) almost deserve a thread of their own although I'm sure someone beat me to it.

So after that I sort of got into the habit of not speaking to any farang unless they introduce themselves to me and seem likable.

My point is you are doing nothing wrong and based on my encounter, there's no guarantee you'd understand him anyway!!!

BTW- As long as you aren't the above guy we can be friends!!!!!

Thanks Keemao, I'll put away my ripped beer chang t-shirt and have a wash first

[Neeranam]

If someone gives a blank stare more than once, tap them on the shoulder and say, "what the #### is wrong with you pal'? in a friendly way. You'll find they start being friendly.

[garro]

If someone gives a blank stare more than once, tap them on the shoulder and say, "what the #### is wrong with you pal'? in a friendly way. You'll find they start being friendly.

I was thinking about giving the farang I meet a wai. I know this will get a reaction!

[Neeranam]

Look on oth er farans as human beings - I know it's hard sometimes.

[bkkmadness]

If someone gives a blank stare more than once, tap them on the shoulder and say, "what the #### is wrong with you pal'? in a friendly way.

You've never had an embarrassing moment with a blind person have you Neeranam?

[garro]

If someone gives a blank stare more than once, tap them on the shoulder and say, "what the #### is wrong with you pal'? in a friendly way.

You've never had an embarrassing moment with a blind person have you Neeranam?

I like you bkkmadness, you make me laugh.

That's the second hilarious thing you have said in 2 days. Keep it up!

Edited July 6, 2007 by garro

[Mighty Mouse]

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into...............

After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however .......................

The first thing you need to do is to learn how to control your shopping trolley cart. There is nothing worse than bending down to get a can of sardines off the lower shelf and having some snobby farang bump into your butt with his trolley.

Because farangs are a rare species in Phitsanulok, why not stop and have a quick chat with those of a similar breed to yourself. It doesn't take much to say, "Bloody hot today, isn't it?" or "Do you think crunchy peanut butter is better than smooth?"

As for the poor old guy who wanted to chat with you, he probably only wanted to tell you that your fly was undone.

[garro]

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into...............

After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however .......................

The first thing you need to do is to learn how to control your shopping trolley cart. There is nothing worse than bending down to get a can of sardines off the lower shelf and having some snobby farang bump into your butt with his trolley.

Because farangs are a rare species in Phitsanulok, why not stop and have a quick chat with those of a similar breed to yourself. It doesn't take much to say, "Bloody hot today, isn't it?" or "Do you think crunchy peanut butter is better than smooth?"

As for the poor old guy who wanted to chat with you, he probably only wanted to tell you that your fly was undone.

Sorry Mighty Mouse, but after being ignored for the millionth time you stop trying to make conversation with other farang.

Btw, my fly wasn't open. I was wearing my swimming shorts!

[madjbs]

I was once in the park by the river near Khao San Road and just as I was buying a drink a nearby farang (most likely a backpacker) gave me a wai and started sawadee ka'ing me which I thought was quite amusing! Im not sure if he was a mental case or if he was trying to impress the young female drink vendor. Probably a bit of both.

As for speaking to other farangs, I generally just give a nod or a smile if I’m in a area anywhere where the usual suspects hang around (drunken chang t shirt wearers) as to be honest the times when I have been friendly and struck up a conversation they have 90% of the time annoyed me to death by spouting some rubbish about the cheapest girls in the area or how rubbish Thailand is etc…

I don’t enjoy going to these places in particular but my friend happens to own a bar (non naughty if you were wondering) in one of those areas.

Jake

Edited July 6, 2007 by madjbs

[Neeranam]

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into...............

After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however .......................

The first thing you need to do is to learn how to control your shopping trolley cart. There is nothing worse than bending down to get a can of sardines off the lower shelf and having some snobby farang bump into your butt with his trolley.

Because farangs are a rare species in Phitsanulok, why not stop and have a quick chat with those of a similar breed to yourself. It doesn't take much to say, "Bloody hot today, isn't it?" or "Do you think crunchy peanut butter is better than smooth?"

As for the poor old guy who wanted to chat with you, he probably only wanted to tell you that your fly was undone.

Sorry Mighty Mouse, but after being ignored for the millionth time you stop trying to make conversation with other farang.

Btw, my fly wasn't open. I was wearing my swimming shorts!

If I ever see a farang wearing swimming trunks in Tesco, I'll speak to him.

[mellow1]

We live out in the countryside but,we are in town a few times a week for various reasons.There are a lot of farangs around here.In 5yrs. since we moved here,I know about 3 farangs who will readily have a conversation with me.The rest just act like, I am not there.At first this bothered me,but not anymore.I feel that they are either <deleted>,have something to hide,or are in need of mental help.After all we are here,for an easier and slower lifestyle(cheaper too) and at this stage in life, we should be more laid back.Watch our children play together while having a nice Bar-B-Q.Here I don't see families of Thai-Farangs doing this sort of thing together.But I do know that many of the boozers leave their wifes and children at home as they go party at nights at the local watering holes,with the bar girls and others of a similar lifestyle.This group does seem to hang together,and I was told by one of them a few months ago,that I now live in Thailand, and should be having fun.Well I am having fun,just not the same type as when I was in my 20's.

It would be nice thought to know couples(Thai-Farang)with children that would enjoy family types of get togethers, with activities, other than getting drunk and pawing bar girls.

Now I find myself not paying any attention to any farangs unless I happen to catch a smile or a friendly nod,in which case it is promptly returned.

[eek]

I think if i had bumped into someone that many times i wouId have definateIy said something, however, i am not in your situation, given time and your experiences who knows if i wouId have acted the same.

Dont beat yourseIf up about it though. For aII you know, had you acknowIedged him, he may have struck up a conversation, then he may have Ieeched on to you and made your Iife a Iiving heII forever and a day! You may then have asked yourseIf in hindsight "why the @##$$@% did i not just %@#$%@ bIank that guy!" Hmm, just trying to make you feeI better! Haha.

Btw, my fly wasn't open. I was wearing my swimming shorts!

Speedos?

[PeaceBlondie]

It's a big world, a big fishbowl with lots of big and little fishies. I try to be relaxed and friendly without overdoing it. Some folks respond, others don't. Some people are shier, but will warm up after they get to know you. I've made friends at the swimming pool, including posters here, because we're doing a common activity at the same time. Whether you run into farang at a store, shop, bar, temple, church, wherever, some are friendly, and some aren't. You don't want to make friends with some folks, and vice versa. Don't worry too mutt, but do make an effort to acknowledge them. Maybe they know where the crunchy peanut butter is.

[bendix]

Awwwwww . .that's cute. Thaivisa brings together two lonely souls in Phitsanulok. We look forward to hearing how your friendship prospers.

As for me. I try to avoid anyone who attempts to make friends with me on the basis that they obviously have ridiculously low standards.

[kmart]

Slightly off topic, but in the past, it was always noticeable (to me anyway) that most Thais you came across would make eye contact and be the first to smile.

But during the last few months I've been taking a 1/2 hour, daily walk near my home, which is 15kms East of Pattaya, and I always pass a quite a few Thais, either walking or on Motorbikes or in the back of pick-ups. Although many of them still make eye contact, they rarely smile unless I do first - and then they smile back. A small minority just scowl, even if I smile at them.

I have my beautiful golden with me, which is always a point of interest and often helps to break the ice, but there is no doubt that I have to make the initial efforts to be friendly, whereas in the past it was usually the other way round.

Has anyone else noticed this - or is it just me coming across as a miserable looking, cranky farang?

As far as smiling at other farangs goes - I find that a great majority of farangs I see in the stores just blank me, totally, even if I smile. But if I had also blanked someone many times, it wouldn't stop me saying hello if they wanted to be friendly.

Taking the designer dog for a walk is a great way to meet chicks too. Granted.

To the OP, make an effort to speak to these other hermits in boondocksville. You might need each other's help one day.

[Mobi]

Taking the designer dog for a walk is a great way to meet chicks too. Granted.

To the OP, make an effort to speak to these other hermits in boondocksville. You might need each other's help one day.

Hm...I'd never really thought about Cookie as a designer dog - but maybe you're right She probably matches my designer flip flops

As for chicks - yes they do smile more than most - but a bit too close to home, even for me.

My main acolytes on my daily foray are the local kids - they just adore Cookie - they all know her name - and insist that I stop so they can have a stroke. Sometimes I feel like the proverbial pied piper (but no designer pied clothes ).