Social life and dating in Thailand

[spidermike007]

14 hours ago, JimTripper said:

That sounds great for you but how does it help the Op? ????
 

i don’t get the feeling he wants to change himself. He sounds confident in his situation and personality, but can’t find the women he wants.

No. Not confident. If a foreign man here uses only dating apps, and will not approach strangers he is attracted to, he has an issue with shyness, self esteem, or confidence. What he needs to work on, if he really wants to hook up, and it sounds like the OP desires that alot, is his confidence, so he can be  assertive, and just go for it. Everyone I know here, who makes that kind of effort has success. It is just a numbers game, at thay point.

 

It beats online dating, by a huge margin, because you see what you get, and you can immediately tell if there is any chemistry. 

[spidermike007]

19 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I have not let myself go.  I am normal BMI with good blood pressure and a pulse rate approaching elite athlete level for my age.

 

The number of slim fit females I see in Australia is far outweighed ( pun intended ) by the obese females. I have no intention of approaching them, simply observing.

 

Your comment on the US situation does not surprise me. Perhaps the most paranoid nation on the planet.

Not only paranoid, but also very fearful, heavy hearted, disillusioned, and broken. Life in the US is not much of a life, these days, especially if one is a single man over 50. My heart truly goes out to my friends back there who are single. They are having a very hard time of it. It was bad before, and then came Me Too. Now, after covid it is worse than ever. 

 

By comparison, Thailand is paradise on so many levels. I know. I travel back there alot for work, and travel all over the country. Some places are better than others, but the entire nation is very difficult. 

 

And this is a great thread. It is the thread that keeps on giving. 

Edited June 15, 2023 by spidermike007

[JimTripper]

26 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

No. Not confident. If a foreign man here uses only dating apps, and will not approach strangers he is attracted to, he has an issue with shyness, self esteem, or confidence. What he needs to work on, if he really wants to hook up, and it sounds like the OP desires that alot, is his confidence, so he can be  assertive, and just go for it. Everyone I know here, who makes that kind of effort has success. It is just a numbers game, at thay point.

 

It beats online dating, by a huge margin, because you see what you get, and you can immediately tell if there is any chemistry. 

The op does not say he’s “only” using apps, he said he tried everything including apps, matchmakers, going out places daily, coffee shops, clubs, etc. It sounds like he is making an effort to meet people in person as well.
 

Whether he cold approaches he does not specifically say. Most guys don’t cold approach unless they are looking for hookers. They lean into it by making conversation, go where others are, eat together, etc.

 

One thing the op may benefit from is a “wingman”. A buddy or drinking partner of the same sex that makes breaking the ice a bit easier, but backs off a little once you make contact. It’s incredibly easier to talk to a group of females when there’s somebody else around to joke with etc. goes back to the having friends issue I mentioned earlier.

 

Otherwise, he’s just going stag at venues which can be done but you need much more self confidence with that approach.

Edited June 15, 2023 by JimTripper

[spidermike007]

3 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

The op does not say he’s “only” using apps, he said he tried everything including apps, matchmakers, going out places daily, coffee shops, clubs, etc. it sounds like he is making an effort to meet people in person as well.
 

Whether he cold approaches he does not specifically say. Most guys don’t cold approach unless they are looking for hookers. They lean into it by making conversation, go where others are, eat together, etc.

Well, leaning into it by making conversation is a form of cold approaching. I have a few friends who will just walk up on anyone they like. In the US, you get a cold shoulder or get arrested. Here, most gals are polite, at a minimum. Some are friendly. It is fairly easy here, but it requires charm, wit, humor, alot of confidence, and game. Numerically, the numbers here are rather high, in terms of potential success. 

[FritsSikkink]

On 6/12/2023 at 7:10 PM, SomeFarang said:

I'm not posting my photo on here, I never said I am the best looking guy.

Stop working from home and rent a co working place. This way you meet normal working people where you can start to chat during coffee breaks. 

[JimTripper]

10 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Well, leaning into it by making conversation is a form of cold approaching. I have a few friends who will just walk up on anyone they like. In the US, you get a cold shoulder or get arrested. Here, most gals are polite, at a minimum. Some are friendly. It is fairly easy here, but it requires charm, wit, humor, alot of confidence, and game. Numerically, the numbers here are rather high, in terms of potential success. 

???? I know what your talking about. That old school game stuff. Maybe your from the USA.

 

Keep in mind though, in a lot of cases that’s not real confidence, it’s insecurity. Take a look at the guys that do that. It’s rushed and not genuine. I think it results in more dates though.

[spidermike007]

10 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

???? I know what your talking about. That old school game stuff. Maybe your from the USA.

 

Keep in mind though, in a lot of cases that’s not real confidence, it’s insecurity. Take a look at the guys that do that. It’s rushed and not genuine. I think it results in more dates though.

It barely matters. It is all a game, in the end. Women respond to action. So if it is a performance or not, it is barely relevant. The results are the same. A date. 

 

We are discussing the same thing. It is just subtle semantics. 

Edited June 15, 2023 by spidermike007

[Lacessit]

45 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Not only paranoid, but also very fearful, heavy hearted, disillusioned, and broken. Life in the US is not much of a life, these days, especially if one is a single man over 50. My heart truly goes out to my friends back there who are single. They are having a very hard time of it. It was bad before, and then came Me Too. Now, after covid it is worse than ever. 

 

By comparison, Thailand is paradise on so many levels. I know. I travel back there alot for work, and travel all over the country. Some places are better than others, but the entire nation is very difficult. 

 

And this is a great thread. It is the thread that keeps on giving. 

I just wonder where America lost its way, although from a steel industry viewpoint I witnessed the decline. In my first visit of 1983, United States Steel had 3000 researchers in Pittsburgh. On my last visit there in 1999, there were less than 300. The blue collar workforce has gone from 76,000 to about 25,000.

 

While Australia has less paranoia than America, it is a stifling environment for me. Very heavily regulated. For example, by law one cannot drive past a parked police car on a suburban street at more than 40 km/hr. Imagine how that would go down in Thailand. Lockdowns for me in Thailand during COVID consisted of two months of swimming pool and golf course closures, in Victoria one could not move more than 5 km from their house for months on end. Six lockdowns all up.

 

Back on topic, I fail to understand why the OP cannot connect in Thailand. I can fairly be described as old and ugly, yet I wish I had 1000 baht for every time a Thai woman has propositioned me for a longer-term relationship. As I said before, IMO he has set his sights too high.

 

 

[JimTripper]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

It barely matters. It is all a game, in the end. Women respond to action. So if it is a performance or not, it is barely relevant. The results are the same. A date. 

 

We are discussing the same thing. It is just subtle semantics. 

Not if he is looking for quality as he states. He’s not looking for easy sex and dates, speed dating, day gaming and all that juvenile stuff.

 

What you end up with “gaming” is a bunch of superficial dates or “games”. It also drives away quality people because they can smell that it’s BS. The ones that do respond tend to respond to every guy who approaches. 

 

Look at your buddies who “day game”. I bet their relationships are very short duration, because that’s their approach. The Op does not want that. All that <deleted> you learned in high school does not apply to real world quality relationships, it was just good for people that did not know how to have a real conversation, but they were supposed to grow out of it.

Edited June 15, 2023 by JimTripper

[spidermike007]

5 hours ago, JimTripper said:

Not if he is looking for quality as he states. He’s not looking for easy sex and dates, speed dating, day gaming and all that juvenile stuff.

 

What you end up with “gaming” is a bunch of superficial dates or “games”. It also drives away quality people because they can smell that it’s BS. The ones that do respond tend to respond to every guy who approaches. 

 

Look at your buddies who “day game”. I bet their relationships are very short duration, because that’s their approach. The Op does not want that. All that <deleted> you learned in high school does not apply to real world quality relationships, it was just good for people that did not know how to have a real conversation, but they were supposed to grow out of it.

You have failed to take into account different needs and personalities. Some of my friends consider a relationship a burden. There is no right and wrong here. Some prefer something casual. The speed dating nonsense is only in your head, and is a total projection of your own junk. And don't think for a moment you can only meet (your version of) a quality woman online. I know many men who married great gals that they boldly approached. 

[LaosLover]

On 6/15/2023 at 9:45 AM, JimTripper said:

 

 

One thing the op may benefit from is a “wingman”. 

 

 

Has this mythical wingman creature ever been spotted in the wild, or only in Owen Wilson bad comedies?

 

What's in it for the wingman, who "hangs back"?

 

Is he at least getting free drinks for his thankless wingman-ing?

[BritManToo]

On 6/15/2023 at 11:29 AM, JimTripper said:

What you end up with “gaming” is a bunch of superficial dates or “games”.

I always ended up with having sex with an attractive woman!

Obviously not free.

[JimTripper]

1 hour ago, LaosLover said:

Has this mythical wingman creature ever been spotted in the wild, or only in Owen Wilson bad comedies?

 

What's in it for the wingman, who "hangs back"?

 

Is he at least getting free drinks for his thankless wingman-ing?

It actually works great. You just trade off, each time you go out, or if one guy is interested in a particular woman your buddy knows and automatically assumes the wingman role. If you don’t find anybody that’s ok too, guys just having a beer.

 

The best wingman you can have is a guy that’s married. Women know why you are approaching and a married guy has no expectations and acts completely natural. Also (ideally), he’s never interested in the woman over you.

 

Like I said above it’s just a way of breaking the ice without stag approaching people. Maybe your Mr. Bond and just approach people or groups of women solo and come out ahead? ???? Nothing wrong with that either.

 

I don’t want to write a book here, but you can Google pickup gaming for info. There are all kinds of techniques, etc. even professional pickup gamers on YouTube who do videos going to pick up random strangers, etc. Again, it tends to just result in fleeting hookups imo, or the guys that do it are only into fleeting hookups ????????‍♂️.

 

 

Edited June 19, 2023 by JimTripper

[JimTripper]

2 hours ago, LaosLover said:

Has this mythical wingman creature ever been spotted in the wild, or only in Owen Wilson bad comedies?

 

What's in it for the wingman, who "hangs back"?

 

Is he at least getting free drinks for his thankless wingman-ing?

Two great books you can read:

 

1. boys & sex

2. how to successfully meet girls and women at bars and clubs

 

i forget the authors, but they are classics.

Edited June 19, 2023 by JimTripper

[LaosLover]

The wingman problem: If he's an extrovert, you're dead wood. If you're both introverts, that's deadwood time 2.

 

Wingman-ing is a young man's game. Any old wrecks here been out winging in the last 20 years?

 

It's down to if she likes the looks of you. If it's dry down below, it's dead up above. And will remain so.

[JimTripper]

Here’s an article I just picked at random about wingmen. https://www.shortform.com/blog/what-is-a-wingman/

[LaosLover]

 

That article says a wingman should whisper savvy girl-advice like, "go over there and touch her shoulder" (excuse me, I mean "go over there and kino her shoulder", like the wingman said).

 

Urging random kino-ing is like urging seducers towards getting a lifetime ban from that bar.

 

As a wingman, I'm not even worth the two MaiTai's I'd want for my wing-time. 

 

I never wanted to be a wingman, but then you gave me hope, and then that article dashed it.

[Hummin]

On 6/19/2023 at 7:57 AM, JimTripper said:

Two great books you can read:

 

1. boys & sex

2. how to successfully meet girls and women at bars and clubs

 

i forget the authors, but they are classics.

Seriously? Just go to a bar, cant teach old dogs new tricks.

 

Either you got it by you are 30 or before, or you never get it

[BritManToo]

On 6/19/2023 at 12:22 PM, JimTripper said:

I don’t want to write a book here, but you can Google pickup gaming for info. There are all kinds of techniques, etc. even professional pickup gamers on YouTube who do videos going to pick up random strangers, etc. Again, it tends to just result in fleeting hookups imo, or the guys that do it are only into fleeting hookups

Anyone over 40 doing that?

Top pickup artist Roosh V couldn't get a free date after he hit 40, gave up completely and turned to god.

Edited June 22, 2023 by BritManToo